|
Barbie Girl
| |
|
| |
|
Date Aired
|
July 21, 2023
|
|
Running Time
|
26:51
|
|
Previous Review
|
|
|
Next Review
|
|
|
Website
|
|
Todd plays "Barbie Girl" on the piano.
AQUA - BARBIE GIRL
A one-hit wonder retrospective
Todd: [chuckles] You thought you were safe. Welcome back to One Hit Wonderland, where we take a look at bands and artists known for only one song.
Clip of the Barbie trailer
Todd (VO): As I write this, in July of 2023, we have been flooded with months and months of Barbie movie content.
Todd: Including [image showing the artists included on...] promotion for the big soundtrack.
Todd (VO): But for months, the question was:
Todd: Would one particular song be featured on the soundtrack? [image of an article with "there are no plans for that to happen. 'The song will not be used in the movie'" highlighted] The studios denied it for a long time, but they were completely lying. And sure enough, eventually the announcement came.
Clip of Ice Spice & Nicki Minaj ft. Aqua - "Barbie World"
Todd (VO): The soundtrack will feature a remix [screenshot of article "Barbie Soundtrack Song From Nicki Minaj and Ice Spice Does Indeed Sample ‘Barbie Girl’"] of Aqua's "Barbie Girl".
Todd: I know what I must do.
Clip of Aqua - "Barbie Girl"
Lene Nystrøm: I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world
Todd (VO): Full disclosure, I've held off on doing this episode for years, because [brief cip from Barbie] I was waiting for this movie to come out. [back to "Barbie Girl"] And I hadn't really thought about it, but "Barbie Girl" is pretty instrumental to the course of my life.
Todd: Now when I was just a little kid, I became fixated on the entire concept of [image of a man clutching his ears] "bad songs". The first step towards hater-dom, which I would eventually turn into a full-time career. [image of a man wearing headphones giving a thumbs down] I'd ask friends and adults what the worst song ever was. And I got a lot of answers like...
Clips of Lou Bega's...
Todd (VO): ..."Mambo No. 5", [...and Baha Men's...] "Who Let the Dogs Out".
Todd: And of course, one particular Europop song still lingering in people's brains.
Clip of "Barbie Girl"
Lene: I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic
Todd (VO): Thinking about my stupid little survey now, I'd say that what we think of as the canonical...
Todd: ...[air quotes] "bad songs" are actually the annoying songs.
Todd (VO): Artificial sounding, super catchy.
Todd: Super irritating.
Lene: You can brush my hair
Todd (VO): Like this. At the time, "Barbie Girl" was the single worst song people could imagine. Even as recently as 2011, [screenshot of article "Readers Poll: The Worst Songs of the Nineties" from...] Rolling Stone readers voted it [image of "Barbie Girl" at number 1 on the list] the worst song of the '90s.
Todd: Now with the benefit of hindsight, it's much easier to argue that "Barbie Girl" is actually a good song. Probably even a great song. But, it is 100% an annoying song.
Lene: I'm a blonde bimbo girl
Todd (VO): It did seem at first like the stupidest song ever written. A truly shameless rhyme of "girl" with "world", sugar pop vocals that wouldn't leave your head.
Lene: You can play
"Barbie Girl" had its fans, but wasn't necessarily a song you listened to cause you liked it. It was more like you didn't have a choice. If you heard it once...
Todd: ...it was constantly playing in your head.
Lene: I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world
Todd (VO): Because it was such an outwardly stupid song, it's easy to miss how willfully offensive it was.
Todd: A really smutty take on a toy for little girls.
Lene: You can brush my hair, undress my everywhere
Todd (VO): None of this was an accident. It was brilliant, really. But the American public just didn't know what to do with these screaming neon Scandinavians. And eventually we tossed them aside like [image of a pile of Barbies] so many outgrown dolls before them. What was their deal exactly before they ruined all of our childhoods.
Todd: Well. [imitating the Ken voice in the song] Hey Barbie, wanna go for a ride?
Todd (VO): [normal] I think it's time to get in our pink Corvette, drive to our dreamhouse and untangle this song. This stupid, annoying song that... [sighs] Jesus Christ, might be one of the most influential tracks of the '90s.
Todd: [sighs] Here we go. [in Ken voice] Come on Barbie, let's go party.
Lene: Ah, ah, ah, yeah
Todd: Come on Barbie, let's go party.
Lene: Ooh oh-oh, ooh oh-oh
Todd: Come on Barbie, let's go party. [chuckles, back to normal] Ok, we're gonna stop that. Let's do this.
René Dif: Come on Barbie, let's go party
Lene: Ooh oh-oh, ooh oh-oh
Before the hit
Todd: This story ends [brief Barbie promotional image] with a movie for children. And it starts with one too.
Clip from Frække Frida
Todd (VO): This a Danish kid's movie called [poster for...] Frække Frida...
Todd: I shouldn't be attempting Danish pronunciation. [another poster for the movie] Naughty Frieda and the Fearless Spies.
Todd (VO): Doesn't look like anything you need to watch. The important thing for our purposes is that it brings us the first known appearance of [clip of interview with...] Søren Rasted and Claus Norreen. Two childhood friends from Denmark who wanted to make music together. [album cover for Frække Frida soundtrack ] Their first real gig was the soundtrack to this movie.
Kids: Hvorfor mon alle de voksne
Stresser rundt uafbrudt
Bare man bøvser så flipper de ud
Ja man sku tro at de ku' dø af en prut
Yeah, not... not really music that makes me expect bigger and better things. [image of the tracklist] But for one of these songs, [the track "Si-Bab-Rapper-Di-Åhh" is circled] they needed a rapper. [various clip of Aqua] And luckily there was a club DJ named René Dif working on something in the same studio. And he was like, "I can rap! Let me." And after that soundtrack, they were like, "That was great, we should record more stuff together. But we need a singer". And the girl René was dating, Lene Nystrøm, she kinda elbowed her way in there like, "I can sing. See, listen to me sing". And the two guys really liked how the two of them sounded together. So they were like, "Yeah. Yeah, let's do this!"
Todd: And thus they started the band that would bring them all to fame: [single cover of "Itzy Bitzy" by...] Joyspeed. And they released their first song: "Itzy Bitzy Spider".
Clip of Joyspeed - "Itzy Bitzy Spider"
Lene: Itzy bitzy spider crawled up the waterspout
Down came the rain and washed the spider out
René: Itzy bitzy, teeny weenie, tiny little spider
Crawling up the wall
It's a clever little creature
He's all that fast and he's so damn small
Todd: [beat] Ok. [image of Rolling Stone article "'People Probably Want to Kill Us': The Oral History of Aqua's 'Barbie Girl'"] There's a good Aqua retrospective in Rolling Stone. And there is [screenshot of the article with "even the group admits that it wasn't very good" highlighted] a passing mention of "Itzy Bitzy Spider". And all it says is that the band agrees it wasn't very good. No, no I'm sorry, you don't get to glance off of it like that.
Todd (VO): If I interviewed this band, I would ask about nothing but the creative process behind "Itzy Bitzy Spider".
Todd: That demands an answer.
Todd (VO): But anyway, this does help me understand the direction of their career. [clip of interview with Søren and Claus] They started with children's music. And then they began their Europop career by ruining a kid's song so badly that they had to change their name.
Todd: I assume that's why they changed their name. [text appears reading "(It was because they switched labels)"] But, they were onto something.
Todd (VO): Taking things meant for children, giving it an aggressive Europop sheen. Maybe we can do something with that.
Todd: If we can only find the right target.
The big hit
Clip of a news story about Teen Talk! Barbie
Barbie Doll: Let's put on some music. Let's make some new friends.
Host: Most of what the new Teen Talk! Barbie says is pretty harmless, considering the source. But some of the dolls are programmed to say, and I quote, "Math class is tough". That has drawn fire from those who think Barbie's remark reinforces a stereotype about girls.
Todd (VO): I remember this. I shouldn't remember this cause, you know, what did I care? I was obviously not into girl's dolls. [clip of an ad for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action figures] Or boy's dolls, honestly. Didn't really get them.
Todd: Like ok, [holds up a Barbie doll] I just uh... bought this at Target. Um... [inspects the doll] What do- what do you do with it? Do you- I wasn't a very imaginative kid.
Todd (VO): Even though I didn't play with Barbies, I do remember lots of controversies about Barbies. Like, over and over again. Like this thing about her being an airhead who says things like [sarcastically] "Math is hard". It seems kinda much. Like, I didn't like math class either, I don't think Barbie has to.
Todd: But of course, the controversy isn't about a single maybe iffy thing she said one time.
Clip from Tiny Shoulders: Rethinking Barbie
Gloria Steinem: Barbie was everything we didn't wanna be and were being told to be.
Todd (VO): Barbies have always been controversial. Ever since feminist cultural criticism existed, Barbie was one of its first targets. Her stick-thin body and giant boobs. The emphasis on, quote-unquote, "shallow" luxuries like cars, and dreamhouses, and fashion, and shopping. By the '90s, I distinctly remember tons of these little flair-ups and discourses over this line of dolls. It feels very modern in hindsight. Barbie was one of the first things we were probably thinking too hard about, at least that I can remember.
Barbie Doll: Math class is tough!
Now, I'm not weighing in on any of that controversy myself.
Todd: I'm gonna leave that to people who actually know about Barbies, and/or the various strains of feminism at play.
Todd (VO): Certainly, many girls will tell you that Barbie has always been a positive role model.
Clip from Toy Story 3
Barbie: Authority should be derived from the consent of the governed, not from the threat of force.
Todd: And Mattel has tried to make her that way, sure. Over the decades, they've been like...
Clip of an old Barbie commercial
Todd (VO): ..."She's a doctor now." [image of a newspaper story about Mattel redesigning Barbie] "And we can give her a smaller cup size." Whatever it takes to turn the backlash down.
Todd: Although...
Clip of live performance of "Victoria's Secret" by...
Todd (VO): ...Jax is probably gonna write a decades-late song about how Barbie ruined her childhood anyway.
Todd: The point is, despite all that, the negative stereotype did still exist whether they wanted it to or not. This is where Aqua comes in.
Clip of Aqua - "Roses Are Red"
Todd (VO): Ok, at this point, Aqua had managed to get a couple hits in Denmark that I don't really think are worth discussing. But when they wrote "Barbie Girl", they knew they had something big.
Todd: And they didn't come completely out of nowhere either.
Clip of Ace of Base - "The Sign"
Todd (VO): We had been exposed to many years of Scandinavian Europop by 1997. [clip of Spice Girls - "Wannabe"] And we also had a good solid year of Spice priming the pump for this. So there was a build-up.
Todd: But you know, I can say that.
Clip of "Barbie Girl"
Todd (VO): Nothing really ever prepares you for "Barbie Girl".
René: Hiya, Barbie!
Lene: Hi, Ken!
René: You wanna go for a ride?
Lene: Sure, Ken!
René: Jump in
Lene: I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world
Todd: [sighs] Still as terrifying as the first day I heard it.
René: Come on Barbie, let's go party
Lene: I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic
Todd (VO): There really was nothing like "Barbie Girl". "Barbie Girl" captured you intently. Something about that melody, the combination of René's ugly rasp, and Lene's squeaky, ear-cutting vocals.
Lene: Make me walk, make me talk
Do whatever you please
Lene's the perfect Barbie, or at least the negative stereotype version of her. That perfectly over-the-top, cloyingly girly, almost chipmunk voice. Even if she does not really [text appears reading "not blonde??"] look the part, she was the perfect Barbie.
Lene: Dress me up, make it tight, I'm your dolly
Todd: On the other hand.
Todd (VO): I'm still not quite sure what to do with their odd interpretation of creepy, predatory Euro-trash Ken.
René: Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky
Todd: Like, Ken has always been a [old commercial for a Ken doll] bland, vaguely gay nothing of a man.
René: Come on Barbie, let's go party
Todd (VO): Bald, growling head tattoo René is not any Ken doll I ever saw.
René: Come on Barbie, let's go party
Lene: Ah, ah, ah-yeah
It's an odd combo, but it works. If by "works", you mean...
Todd: ..."gets endlessly stuck in your head".
Todd (VO): There will always be people complaining about vapid pop music, but "Barbie Girl" was, like, designed to piss them off personally. It felt like having pure sugar injected into your bloodstream while your brain was sucked out of your ears. You could feel yourself getting dumber listening to it.
Todd: And that sounds like I'm insulting it, but I'm not. This is all by design.
Todd (VO): I would argue that it's a very smart song. Certainly a very layered and complicated song. But it is also a very stupid, shallow song in the sense that it's literally about being shallow and stupid.
Lene: I'm a blonde bimbo girl in a fantasy world
It's a perfect match of form and function. We were already calling this kinda music superficial and plastic. Here's a song literally about being superficial and plastic.
Todd: Even if you don't like the song, I feel like you still have to admire the craft.
Todd (VO): Like, those Scandinavians, man. They've got music, melody down to, like, a precise math. Even just playing it now, I was kinda struck by how if you take out...
Todd: ...the aesthetic and the lyrics, it sounds almost classical.
Clip of a ballroom scene from Marie Antoinette as "Barbie Girl" plays on a harpsichord
Todd: But of course, the aesthetic is pretty important. I know this is not the first ode to shallowness that's ever existed.
Clip of Marilyn Monroe's...
Todd (VO): There's "Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend". Still ice fucking cold by the way. [clip of...] And that directly inspired Madonna's "Material Girl", which probably inspired "Barbie Girl".
Todd: Material world, material girl. Barbie girl in a Barbie world.
Todd (VO): But Marilyn and Madonna made gold digging seem a lot more empowering.
Madonna: If they don't give me proper credit
I just walk away-ay
Todd: "Barbie Girl" doesn't even try.
Lene: You can touch, you can play
Todd (VO): It is very explicitly about having no thoughts, and existing only for the pleasure of men.
Todd: Barbie Girl isn't a gold digger because she doesn't have that level of self-interest.
Lene: I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees
Todd (VO): Like, I [clip of Aqua live performance] say it's about shallowness, but that doesn't really cover it, does it? The song's filthy. This Barbie Girl is explicitly a sexually submissive plaything. [back to "Barbie Girl"] I was a little kid, and I was like, I don't know if I should be listening to this!
Todd: Like yes, there are obviously filthier songs out there, but like, this isn't just implication; they do say it out loud.
Lene: You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Todd (VO): Thing is, even without the feminist criticisms of the Barbie dolls...
Todd: ...there is something really dirty about these things. The first thing any small child [image of Barbie dolls intercut with headlines about...] does with a Barbie is rip off her clothes. It's a thing. Pretty much every little boy in America with a sister remembers taking one of her Barbies and pulling up her skirt to see what she had under there. [he slowly checks under his own Barbie's skirt] What? It's not rape-y. She's not real! It's a doll! [bangs the Barbie on his keyboard] You can do whatever you want with it! It's an inanimate object!
Clip from Tiny Shoulders: Rethinking Barbie
Todd (VO): Barbie dolls are literally the objectification of women!
Todd: So even if you make [images of...] Barbie a scientist, or a president, or whatever, that's always still literally going to be true. You make a hot doll, that's always going to be the subtext!
Clip of "Barbie Girl"
Todd (VO): That's why, according to Aqua, Barbie has nothing in her head but polystyrene.
Lene: Life in plastic, it's fantastic
She looks gorgeous, she has expensive things, and you can do whatever you want to her. It was provocative in a way that I don't think critics, or most anyone, was prepared to deal with; you know, shallow on purpose, unironic bimbo anthem.
Todd: Actually, is it ironic?
Clip of an interview with Aqua
Søren Rasted: I think we wanna express happiness, and uh... humor and irony.
Todd (VO): I think there's a case for it, certainly they have to know they're pushing buttons. But if Aqua's being ironic, they don't break character ever.
Lene: We're not trying to change the world with out lyrics, we just wanna have some fun.
Life in plastic really does sound fantastic. Like, Barbie's whole thing is [image of Barbie slogan...] "You can be anything". And I was like, "Yeah! You can be anything. You can be a submissive airhead, it's great!" They made a kid's song that sounds like kinky roleplay shit. And the more I think about it, the more impressed I am how inappropriate it is.
Todd: The kinda listeners who loved this song...
Clip of live performance from...
Todd (VO): ...tended to be the same little girls who liked the Spice Girls. [image of the Spice Girls in skimpy outfits] Who themselves were being questioned about the message they were sending. [clip of "Barbie Girl"] Was this song controversial? [image of newspaper article with "does not approve of the song for her daughter" highlighted] Oh yes, people were upset about it.
Todd: Especially Mattel.
Clip of a Barbie commercial
Todd (VO): Boy-oh-boy was Mattel not happy about it. [screenshot of article about...] There was a lawsuit about it that dragged on [...and the lawsuit case summary] for fucking ever.
Todd: Aqua won that lawsuit, and I guess Mattel has made their peace with the song since.
Clip of a Barbie commercial from 2009
Lene: You can be a star no matter who you are
Be an inspiration
Todd (VO): But even still, you can understand why they weren't thrilled about it. Probably still aren't. [clip of various Barbie commercials] Out of a billion Barbie products, and tie-ins, and media...
Todd: ...this is still the first thing people associate with their product.
Clip of Aqua performing "Barbie Girl"
Lene: You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Todd (VO): It's not what Mattel would've written.
Todd: But beyond that, people didn't like the song cause it was just irritating.
Todd (VO): Like yes, obviously someone liked it because it was a humongous hit. But it really felt like more people hated it than liked it. [image of old article saying...] The NME called it "music for serial killers". The thing is though is that "music for serial killers" is a compliment as far as I'm concerned. And there's a reason we kept it around.
Todd: I've never thought about it, but it feels like "Barbie Girl" has left a dreamhouse-sized shadow over pop music.
Todd (VO): For one thing, we have the whole [clip of news story about...] Barbie-core aesthetic now, which... Obviously you credit that to Barbie herself first. But it feels like this song was the first time that aesthetic was truly defined. [clips of Young Money ft. Lloyd - "BedRock"...] And every intentionally plastic pop star that's come after: Nicki, [...and "I Don't Want It At All" by...] Kim Petras, you can see "Barbie Girl" all over them. [clip of QT - "Hey QT"] And you can see their sugar rush aesthetic in the more poppy hyperpop.
QT: Hey QT, yeah? Yeah, there's something I want to say
Todd: "Barbie Girl": The first hyperpop song? Probably not. But I wanted to say it anyway.
Clip of "Barbie Girl"
Todd (VO): Listening to this song now, this doesn't even strike me as anything out of the ordinary anymore. I'm sure the kids born after the '90s think I'm being over-the-top; it's just another bop to them. That's the influence. I think we have no choice but to call "Barbie Girl" a work of genius.
Todd: And it was not even that big in this country!
Clip of Aqua performing "Barbie Girl"
Todd (VO): It felt huge, but it only reached number 7, probably because too many people hated it. But it was number 1 everywhere else. Aqua was well on the path to superstardom.
Lene: Oh, I'm having so much fun!
Todd: [imitating René] Well Barbie, we're just getting started. [beat, back to normal] Or are we?
The failed follow-up
Todd: Now, the way I remembered it, everyone in America decided that Aqua could never be allowed to have a hit again.
Clip of an interview with Aqua
Todd (VO): "Get out of our country you plastic Lego people, go home!" [clip of Aqua performing on Top of the Pops] But naturally, Aqua was able to have a pretty successful career full of hits. In Europe, a diseased and rotting place which has long out-lived its usefulness. And not just in their home country either, or just on the continent. In the UK, they actually had two more number 1 hits.
Todd: Now, I had discovered the internet by the late '90s...
Todd (VO): ...so I was cruising a lot of British music sites. That's probably why I recognize the title. [single cover for...] "Doctor Jones". Hmm...
Todd: Obviously there's only one Doctor Jones I know of.
Clip from Raiders of the Lost Ark
Belloq (Paul Freeman): Dr. Jones. Again we see there is nothing you can possess which I cannot take away.
Todd (VO): But surely that's not who...
Todd: ...this song is about. Surely. And let's just hold off for a comically long amount of time. [beat] Ok, let's hear it.
Clip of Aqua - "Doctor Jones"
Lene: Doctor Jones, Jones, calling Doctor Jones
Doctor Jones, Doctor Jones, get up now
René: Wake up now
Todd: [throws hands up]
Todd (VO): All that anticipation over whether "Barbie Girl" would make the Barbie soundtrack. And yet no one wondered if [clip from Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny] "Doctor Jones" would make the soundtrack to Indiana Jones 5. I mean, didn't you wanna see decrepit old Harrison Ford getting down to this?
Lene: Now that summer is gone
But honestly, despite the video, I don't think this is actually about Indiana Jones.
René: You swept my feet right off the ground
You're the love I found
Todd (VO): There's not actually any reference that that's the Dr. Jones they're talking about.
Lene: Doctor Jones, Doctor Jones, wake up now
René: Wake up now
It doesn't seem to be about anything actually.
Todd: Wake up, Doctor Jones?
Clip from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
Kid: Wake up, Dr. Jones! Wake up!
Todd: Ok, maybe.
Clip of "Doctor Jones"
Todd (VO): But this is definitely a lot less loaded than "Barbie Girl". And uh...
Todd: Without those layers of irony to engage my critic-ey, think-ey brain, I don't think I enjoy this kinda music.
Todd (VO): Yeah, I don't know why the Brits sent this to number 1. It's kinda just "Barbie Girl" but less interesting and worse.
Todd: Khaki-colored Barbies does not work for me.
Clip of Aqua - "Turn Back Time"
Lene: Give me time to reset
Todd (VO): Anyway, their other UK number 1 is called "Turn Back Time". And it's, uh... I guess it's, like, a trip hop ballad, I guess. And it's kinda...
Todd: Heartbreakingly beautiful? [throws hands up]
Lene: If only I could turn back time
If only I had said what I still had
Todd (VO): Yeah, I don't know. This is, uh... this is actually very pretty. It's uh, it's a little off-brand. They should do that big [brief clip of...] AquaScope intro at the beginning of this one too. Yeah, "Turn Back Time" I would absolutely go to bat for, I love basically everything they're doing here. Even though they are completely unrecognizable. Lot of cool things happening, weird breakbeat breakdown in the bridge. And all the other guys get to provide some backup vocals.
Lene: If only I could (If only I could, If only I could)
Yeah, I actually like this a lot. So why did none of these songs hit it big in America? The answer:
Todd: Because they didn't come out here. Their label decided...
Clip of Aqua performing "Turn Back Time"
Todd (VO): ...that these proven hits in Europe wouldn't fly over here.
Todd: So instead, they went with [single cover for...] "Lollipop (Candy Man)". Mmm-hmm.
Clip of Aqua - "Lollipop (Candyman)" with the timpani intro
Todd (VO): Dun-dun-dun-
Todd: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Lene: Oh-oh, oh-oh
René: I am the candy man
Lene: Oh-oh, oh-oh
René: Coming from Bountyland
Todd (VO): I don't- I don't get it.
Todd: Bountyland?
René: Come with me, honey, I'm your sweet sugar Candyman
Run like the wind, fly with me to Bountyland
Todd (VO): For the record, no one in Aqua thinks this was a good choice of single. I guess the label figured it was the closest thing to "Barbie Girl".
Todd: You know, you make plastic bubblegum music.
Clips of "Barbie Girl" and "Lollipop (Candyman)"
Todd (VO): Barbie was plastic, here's the bubblegum. But yeah, I wouldn't have gone with this either. For one thing, the chorus prominently mentions [image of a Bounty bar] a candy bar they don't even make in this country.
Lene: Let us fly to Bountyland
Anyways, this almost, but did not crack the top 20. And no one seemed to care for it, and it disappeared.
Todd: Aqua would never touch this continent again.
Video for "Lollipop (Candyman)" ends
Did they ever do anything else?
Clip of Aqua - "Cartoon Heroes"
Newscaster: Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you a special news bulletin which has just come in
Todd (VO): Okay, their second album went big with their lead single, "Cartoon Heroes". Now, I do remember hearing of "Cartoon Heroes" from the Internet, but I never actually listened to it.
Todd: Can I say, this song is just... baffling.
Lene: We are what we're supposed to be
Todd (VO): Okay, here is Lene dressed like Leeloo in The Fifth Element. You know, I expected a dance beat, but it-it's going nuts with the orchestra here in a way that really does not vibe with her vocals.
René: [sings in a painfully harsh rasp of a voice] We are the color symphony
We do the things you wanna see
Boy, I think we've really overtaxed René's vocal abilities here.
Aqua: We are the cartoon heroes, oh whoa
We are the ones who're gonna last forever
We came out of a crazy mind, oh whoa
And walked out on a piece of paper
Todd (VO): What's the premise of this song?
Todd: I think by "cartoon heroes", they mean "comic book heroes", which is what that is called.
Aqua: Here comes Superman
Todd: But, they're not superheroes in the music video.
René: It's all an orchestra of strings
Todd (VO): I-I guess since "Barbie Girl" got some play out of artificiality, they're going for it again. Barbie was made of plastic, cartoons are ink and paint.
Aqua: We came out of a crazy mind, oh whoa
And walked out on a piece of paper
But, unlike "Barbie Girl", I can't...tell what point they're trying to make from that.
Aqua: Here comes Spiderman, Arachnophobian
Todd (VO): Arachnophobian? What are you even talking about? Yeah, I have no idea what's going on.
Todd: And for the record, this entire album is, like, just off the rails.
Clip of Aqua - "Freaky Friday"
Lene: Freaky Friday
Things ain't going my way
Everything is gone, my life is a country song
Todd: What do you think "Freaky Friday" is?
Clip of "Bumble Bees" by...
Todd (VO): Aqua released a few more aesthetic atrocities off this album to diminishing returns.
René: Hey Rose, I'm ready again
A flyswatter smacks the frame, cutting to a label executive holding images of the music video as the band engages in some clever self-deprecation
Executive: What is this!? It's rubbish!
Søren: Exactly! We're a lot more than just the "Barbie" band.
Lene: Right, cause we wanna look like the pop stars we really are!
Søren: Exactly, you know, we're a lot more than just the "Barbie" band.
His last two words echo out
Ok, that's kinda funny. And it is nice to know that even when these bands are not technically One Hit Wonders abroad...
Todd: ...they still basically are.
Todd (VO): After the second album kinda underwhelmed, they basically broke up. Or at the very least, they went on a very long hiatus. During that hiatus, [clip of "Barbie Girl"] Lene married one of the guys in the band. And not the guy she came in with.
Todd: So I think there might've been some Fleetwood Mac type shenanigans going on.
Clip of Aqua - "Back To The 80's"
Todd (VO): They reunited in 2009 for their greatest hits album and one more album in 2011. Here's one song I really liked, and I have for a long time, called "Back To The 80's".
Lene: Back to the 80's, back to Soap
Back to Rocky and Cherry Coke, yeah
I know it's weird to be listening to a '90s band reminisce about the '80s. And God knows, we were already too full of '80s nostalgia at that point.
Todd: But yeah, I don't know, this song is a jam. I've loved it for a really long time.
René: To Iron Maiden and 7Up
Bananarama and Breakfast Club
Todd (VO): And since then, they've [clip of a recent live performance from Aqua] reunited and gone on tour off and on. The marriage didn't last, but the band has. [clip of "Barbie World"] And of course, they returned to the top 10 [image of the Hot 100 with "Barbie World" at number 7] this year, since they're credited on the "Barbie World" remix. Which raises the question: Are they still One Hit Wonders?
Todd: The answer is yes, yes they are.
Did they deserve better?
Todd: Mmmm... yeah. [singing] Ah, ah, ah, yeah.
Clip of "Barbie Girl"
Lene: I'm a Barbie Girl
Todd (VO): I'm not gonna stand up for their entire maddening discography, but there's definitely more gems there than just "Barbie Girl". But even if "Barbie Girl" was their only song of note, they deserve better for that alone.
Todd: "Barbie Girl" is not the worst song ever. Or hell, maybe it is the worst song ever, but it's also a great song.
Todd (VO): It's a very smart, very stupid, very complicated, very, very important song. I don't remember ever agreeing with everyone who told me it was a bad song. And I also still don't know if I actually like the song, honestly. But I do respect it.
René: Come on Barbie, let's go party
"Barbie Girl" was the plastic pop song to end all plastic pop songs. And damaged some multi-million dollar brands in the process.
Todd: [holds up the Barbie doll] Come on Barbie, let's go party. [pauses, then slowly lifts up the Barbie's skirt] Oh wow, her robe comes right off. Jeez! [puts the Barbie down, then gets up and leaves]
Lene: Oh, I love you Ken
Closing Tag Song: Death In Rome - "Barbie Girl"
THE END
"Barbie Girl" is owned by Universal Records
This video is owned by me
THANK YOU TO THE LOYAL PATRONS!!