(The Disneycember logo is shown, before showing clips from Bad Santa)
Doug (vo): Merry Christmas! Let's talk about a movie that many would declare is not very Christmas-y. Yet, in a strange way, because it's so un-Christmas-y, it ironically kind of turned it into a Christmas classic. This film is mean, dark, unpleasant and bursting with so much misery that whenever something good does happen, man, does it warm your heart...eh, just enough. I don't know, either way, it's pretty funny.
Story[]
Doug (vo): A lowlife named Willie teams up with another lowlife named Marcus, who market themselves as a Santa/elf duo. They work for dirt cheap, so they get a fair amount of Santa jobs. However, it's all a ploy to secretly rob the place. When they get done spending their money, they meet up again, rinse and repeat and do it all, usually drunk or trying to backstab the other. Everything changes, though when Willie stumbles upon a kid named...huh, just realized he's only called "kid"*...who's just about as miserable as they are, but he seems somehow even more lost than they are. Willie...okay, I can't say he helps him out, but he just kind of feels disturbed looking at him, so he does his best to try to balance things out. He stands up for him once in a while, he gives him something resembling advice, and though he's doing it probably every wrong way that you can, he does form a bit of a connection with him. Things get more complicated, though when Bob and Gin, played by John Ritter and Bernie Mac, find out about their scheme and rather than turn them in, Gin decides he wants in on the deal. So it's all about figuring out...well, not what's the right thing to do, but what's the most self-preservation thing to do.
*The kid does have a name, Thurman Merman
Review[]
Doug (vo): Okay, so like I said, this is not exactly your typical upbeat Christmas movie, and yeah, I know a lot of Christmas movies advertise themselves that way like, "Oh, we're not going to be like all the other Christmas films". But no, this one really isn't. This movie was directed by Terry Zwigoff, who is very, very comfortable just letting you sit and soak in misery. That's not to say there's no humanity to his movies, but they almost feel like they happen by accident. They're so organically miserable that even in an obviously positive scenario, like a grumpy old man befriending a naive little kid, it doesn't feel like a cop-out. The world is so relentlessly mean, you're kind of praying for something positive to happen or at the very least, at least something funny to help the misery go down a little better.
(Footage focusing on Willie and Thurman is shown)
Doug (vo): And thankfully, this film is very funny. It's not always a typical "setup, joke and deliver punchline" kind of funny, it's more of a, "Imagine the darkest, most pissed-off part of your brain, now imagine it throwing a Christmas special." You do end up caring for Willie and the kid maybe because there's just a shred of humanity left in him, but I really mean a shred, like a lingering little thread. And because he is so unapologetically miserable and in-your-face and doing it at a time when everyone sometimes feels like they're required to be happy even when they don't want to be, it's in a strange way a lot of fun to see.
(Footage focusing on the other characters is shown)
Doug (vo): All the actors hit the right notes, they know how to not really phone in that fake miserableness, like, they just look like angry, bitter, pissed-off people. The movie wouldn't work nearly as well if anything felt sugarcoated, and in a Christmas movie like this, it just doesn't feel that way, even though it'd be very easy to pull that off. And let's face it, even if they did sugarcoat it, they could get away with it, but it just wouldn't work as well. There has to be an authenticity to that meanness, and every single actor brings that, even John Ritter. He's supposed to be the guy who thinks he's in on the scheme and is above everything and is playing on several different levels when he's barely playing on one. I also really enjoy Tony Cox who let's face it, is probably a good chunk of the time just used as a prop in some movies like, "Oh, look, there's a little guy and he's talking angry, haha!" But he really does bring a lot of personality to this role, as well as most roles he plays.
(Footage focusing on Thurman is shown)
Doug (vo): Brett Kelly, the kid also does a really good job looking lost, but not looking cute lost. And I don't mean that as an insult, this kid is purposely supposed to look unpleasant. Like, every time you see him, you just feel sorry for him, but not in a way where like his eyes are really big and cute. Like, this is just the most clueless, helpless-looking kid. And again, I think it would be really easy to clean him up and make him say a lot more innocent things, and yeah, sometimes he does, but for the most part, he just looks gross and depressed. And again, I feel like if they lightened that up a bit, it wouldn't work as well.
(Footage focusing on scenes from the director's cut is shown)
Doug (vo): This movie wants to go mean. It does a good job, though. I will admit I was introduced to this film through the director's cut, and while I don't think one necessarily destroys the other, I do think the director's cut is harsher, and for me, that's just going to be a little funnier. But I also get it if people have seen the original and there are a few moments of being a little lighter. They're definitely not light scenes, they're just lighter. They kind of help emphasize the message a little bit more, but even then, they're not hammering you on the head with it. And also, maybe I'm the only effect of this, but I swear the scene where they're negotiating and Tony Cox says "49%", I swear to God, I saw a version where Bernie Mac shrugs like he's about to say "okay," and he still says "half" after saying "half" every single time. I don't know, am I remembering that wrong or was there a version where that happened? Either way, the moment is still great.
Final thought[]
Doug (vo): I'll admit, I've never met anyone who disliked this film, and that actually really surprises me. I really thought because this film was just so mean and so harsh, there would be more people angry at it. But maybe people just see the poster and the advertisements and they go, "Okay, I get an idea of the kind of movie I'm going to see," and those that see it and find it unpleasant, they just avoid it. But I do think it's worth saying if you want to be aggressive, this is pretty damn aggressive. If you want to be even more aggressive, see the director's cut. But both versions are appropriately uncomfortable. It's the mean-spirited Christmas movie that I feel like every other mean-spirited Christmas movie tries to top. And I don't know, maybe in terms of writing or ethics or something like that, some other Christmas movie might have topped it, but I never get that same feeling of dread and depression and hopelessness that I do with this film. And I know that sounds very ironic, talking about a Christmas movie—hell, a Christmas classic—but that is what helps it stand out. It's not totally devoid of positivity, but it's mostly devoid of positivity, and if you're a sick bastard like me, you're just going to find that around this time of year. I think you can figure out quickly if this is the movie for you or not. If it doesn't look like something you get into, stay as far away as possible. But if it looks like something you would enjoy, sit back, pour a stiff drink and have fun ruining yourself this holiday season.
(The scene where Thurman is biking away while giving the middle finger behind him is shown)