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Amazons Attack #5 and 6
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Released
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March 23, 2009
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Running time
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17:39
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Previous review
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Next review
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Tagline
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Well, in the end the Amazons did in fact attack, so I guess the comic did what it promised.
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Link
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(Open on Linkara sitting on his futon, staring silently at the camera; he sighs)
Linkara: No, I'm not gonna say it. Why? Because I'm not gonna review it. I'm done. I'm not gonna keep torturing myself by reading this crap. I risk psychological harm by continuing to witness this monumental disaster. So instead, I'm just gonna have a loop of LOLCats play for the next twenty minutes.
(A montage of LOLCats images is shown, including one of a cat chasing a dot of light saying "So we meet again Mr. Dot - Prepare to die"; a cat with a mustache saying "Frankly my dear - I don't give a meow."; and a cat at a piano saying, "I don't do requests - Is chopsticks or nuffin"; cut back to Linkara)
Linkara: Okay, as it turns out, I'm going to get fired if I don't review it. So let's finish this sucker, shall we?
(Shots of the "Amazons Attack" comic series are shown)
Linkara (v/o): Following the conclusion to "Amazons Attack", the fan backlash was enormous. While Will Pfeifer hasn't commented on the series beyond promoting it, he was kind enough to consistently keep his blog open for feedback. Lots of people actually mailed their copies of "Amazons Attack" back to DC, because of how enraged they were, particularly with the ending, but we'll get to that later. Now, I attack this comic a lot, but frankly, this whole storyline was an editorial mandate, and a stupid one at that, so I hold no ill will towards Pfeifer for it. Even its attempts at saving itself are fraught with horrible connotations. Take, for example, the Bana being a story element. Forgiving for a moment that we've already seen the Amazons acting pretty damn evil, what with killing innocent children and all, the Bana themselves are easily a stand-in for real-life terrorists. The Bana originated from Egypt, they engaged in terrorist activities, and, oh, yeah, THE COMIC FLAT-OUT CALLS THEM TERRORISTS!! And since the Bana are Middle Eastern, and in this case wearing stereotypical African war paint for some reason, this adds new, uncomfortable layers to this mess.
Linkara: So, with all that, what we've got so far is an unnecessary, unwanted, sexist, and kinda racist story that leads us all to wonder, what the hell DC was thinking! So, with all that in mind, let's dig into (holds up the comic of review) "Amazons Attack #5 and #6".
Linkara (v/o): Issue 5, of course, is precluded by text explaining the tie-ins: Batman went to Gotham, helped Catwoman with the Bana, and then went back again. Well, that information is completely useless! Next paragraph! Wonder Woman goes back to Themyscira and retrieves the antidote to Nemesis' bee sting.
(Cut to a shot of Batman from an earlier issue)
Batman: Bees. My God.
(Back to the current comic)
Linkara (v/o): During this, Circe launches a nuclear attack on Themyscira... somehow and for some reason that isn't explained. Wonder Woman also apparently meets up with the goddess Athena, wanting an explanation for why she hasn't intervened in the war. Athena refuses to justify her actions and sends her back to the battlefield. Wow, wasn't it great to learn all that despite the fact that it has no bearing on the story? (the comic proper begins) As if one exposition page wasn't enough, we go back to a LexNews special report. Can you really call it a special report when this crap has been going on for like a week now in-comic? And the reporter says that Superman personally flew the President to Mount Weather, even though, in the last issue, we saw him and the two blonde boneheads flying back to D.C.
Linkara: (pretending to write in comic, dopey voice) Dah, story continuity? What's that?
LexNews Reporter: But new reports are coming out of Washington, rumors of a diabolical Amazonian weapon... that has--somehow--completely sealed off the city!
Linkara: A force field?! That's just wrong, man! That's just twisted!
Linkara (v/o): Superman flies back to Washington and, like an idiot, slams right into the force field. Why is it suddenly invisible when previously we could clearly see the damn thing? Well, there is an actual explanation for this, and that explanation is...
Linkara: Hey, everybody! (holds up a statue of a bunny and shakes it back and forth in front of him) Look at the pretty bunny! Look at the pretty bunny!
Linkara (v/o): Superman contacts Batman, who's on the other side of the bubble. They reiterate what we already know, that nobody can get in or out and that the most powerful of them are outside the bubble.
Batman: If the Amazons did do this, then where's the major assault? The one that finishes us off, once and for all?
Linkara (v/o): So he immediately deducted that it's standard military practice for the Amazons to annihilate a major city, encase that city in a bubble, and then wage a major assault? Wow, Batman is a master strategist!
(Cut to a clip of Patton, in which Patton is looking out through a pair of binoculars)
Patton: You magnificent bastard, I READ YOUR BOOK!
(Cut back to the comic)
Linkara (v/o): Meanwhile, Karna, the leader of the Bana, races towards the bubble.
Grace Choi: The Bana, the Bana, the Bana.
Linkara (v/o): Or in this case, the banal.
Grace: All I hear about is a series of vague threats. Honestly, it's getting a little boring.
Linkara (v/o): Seriously, folks, I think Grace realizes she's in this garbage heap of a comic and isn't standing for it.
Karna: It's time you learned the true story of the Bana.
Grace: The "true story"? Oooooh, sounds scandalous!
Linkara: Grace has now become my favorite character in the world, if only because she's not taking this idiocy seriously.
Linkara (v/o): Karna gives some bullcrap story about how the Bana were forced out of the Amazons... No, the Bana refused to worship the Greek gods after feeling abandoned by them, so they left voluntarily! Karna says she did a DNA analysis on Grace and discovered that she, too, is a Bana!
(Linkara looks up in shock as a dramatic sting starts to play, but he becomes annoyed)
Linkara: (stopping the sting abruptly) Oh, who the hell cares by this point?
Linkara (v/o): So, this one statement, without any kind of actual evidence to back it up, is enough for Grace to go all teary-eyed and join the Bana. (sighs) Rest in peace, Grace Choi's intelligence. Your face-kicking snark was enjoyed.
Karna: That's only the beginning of your education, Grace. There's more. Much more.
Linkara: (as Karna) Or rather, less. You see, to be a Bana, you must stop wearing pants and show more cleavage.
Linkara (v/o): Wonder Woman reappears from her tie-in material right next to Batman. How convenient.
Wonder Woman: (to Batman) Aren't you even the least bit curious how I managed to appear out of nowhere?
Linkara: (as Batman) Diana, we threw out logic in this comic, like, four issues ago. Just roll with it.
Linkara (v/o): Batman brings her up to speed about the magic bubble and indicates that it must be Circe who's responsible.
Wonder Woman: But she's dead. My mother killed her right in front of me.
Linkara (v/o): Dot dot dot. (as Batman) Geez, it's true. The women in this comic really are idiots. (normal again) Grace and the Bana arrive at the end of the bubble, but Superman's already there as well. He informs Grace that the Bana were responsible for the attacks on the military bases and the nuclear plant. Grace asks Karna if that's true. Dot dot dot.
Linkara: Uh... (holds up bunny figure again and shakes it back and forth again, as Karna) Hey! Look at the pretty bunny, look at the pretty bunny!
Linkara (v/o): Karna shows her true colors and grabs onto Grace, holding a stupid little dagger to her neck and threatens to kill her if Superman should make a move. Despite the fact that Grace has superhuman strength and Superman is obviously faster than Karna, he just lets the Bana pass through the bubble.
Karna: And you will stand there, wondering how we did it...
Linkara: Ooh! I know how!
(Linkara points above him and, to a ding, the phrase, "Inhumanly Awful Writing", is displayed)
Linkara (v/o): So Karna stabs Grace in the side and walks off with the rest of the Bana. Well, Grace's heel turn plot point lasted all of five pages. I'm so glad they put it in. It was such a vital component to this whole comic that the entire story would have fallen apart without it. Karna and Hippolyta meet up, and the two Amazon groups join forces.
Hippolyta: Karna, I am honored that you have chosen to join us. At last, the sisters are one, our enemies are trapped-- and the final battle can begin.
Linkara: (as Hippolyta) There can be only one! (raises his finger in the air, causing a flash of lightning and a crash of thunder)
Linkara (v/o): Over to Circe, who's doing her shtick of explaining to an unnamed, faceless Amazon her plan before she kills her.
Linkara: (pretending to write in comic) "And... twirly mustache..."
Linkara (v/o): Batman, however, knocks out the Amazon and confronts Circe. The powerful, evil sorceress, however, finds her magic disabled, courtesy of some magic phrase that the superhero Zatanna supplied Batman. Yes, magic is just that easy, folks. No further explanation necessary. And Circe, the main villain of this whole comic, the sorceress who has cheated death and manipulated everybody, gets knocked out by Batman, who just shoves her over!
Linkara: (talking on phone) Hello, "Doom's IV"? I'm sorry. I want you back.
Linkara (v/o): Smoking a Lotta Hippolyta rallies the Amazons and Bana for the next attack. (as Hippolyta) Just to show how evil we are, let's all talk about how we're going to slaughter weak and defenseless soldiers! (normal again) However, a red streak of light hits them, killing them all and ending this piece of crap, finally!
Linkara: (excitedly) Hooray! It's over! Now I can finally just–
Linkara (v/o): Oh, no, wait, it was Superman just flying past. And despite the massive explosion, everyone is fine. With Circe's magic out of the way, the heroes can now storm the– Oh, for crying out loud, there are only twelve superheroes here?! Twelve?! It's like the only ones who actually appeared in the comic were the ones who were contractually obligated to be in it. No one else wanted to be a part of it! Circe picks herself up.
Circe: Uhh... Bastard. That hurt.
Linkara: (as Circe) I'll make him pay for lightly shoving me!
Circe: (as dramatic music plays in the background) Still, I should be thanking him. The Amazons, the Bana-- the mortal army and even the heroes of Patriarch's world-- ready to annihilate one another in final battle. Everything they've fought for, sacrificed for and died for-- is about to crumble before their eyes-- exactly as I planned.
Linkara: (as Circe) Yes, my evil, nefarious, diabolical plan to... to... Wait, what the hell was my plan? And what was I trying to achieve with it?
Linkara (v/o): Back with Grace, who suddenly remembers that she's super strong, and as such, a simple knife really shouldn't be able to hurt her. And so, issue 5 ends with Wonder Woman passing her, telling her to join the battle, which now suddenly includes the U.S. military for some reason. All righty, one issue to go, and it's off to a good start: no text recap for tie-ins and no idiotic LexNews segment. Nuttier-Than-a-Nut-Goodie is now all of a sudden in the ruins of the Oval Office with several dead soldiers.
Hippolyta: WHERE IS SHE?!
Linkara: (as Hippolyta) Where is Gail Simone?! I need someone who actually knows how to write my character!
Linkara (v/o): Wonder Woman is flying around the Smithsonian in an awkward pose that makes her look like she's doing stretching exercises. She locates Circe and confronts her.
Wonder Woman: Was your "death" just another part of your plan?
Linkara (v/o): WHAT PLAN?!? She planned for Air Force One to be brought down?! She planned to get knocked unconscious by Batman?! She planned for the Bana to be purportedly the real enemy, only they're not, thus making their entire subplot utterly, totally, completely WORTHLESS?!? Circe says that Diana won't kill her, so Diana hits her right in the collar with the handle of her sword.
Linkara: (as Circe, clutching his collar) No! My clavicle bone! My one weakness!
Linkara (v/o): Before Wonder Woman can kill Circe, thus ending her complex, intricate and well-orchestrated "plan", mad mother Hippolyta starts fighting her. Why? Do you really expect an answer? Seriously? Hippolyta gets knocked back into the Smithsonian and comes back out again, throwing a PLANE at Wonder Woman, which is the only point in this mess where this actually is kind of awesome. Thus, she finally has Diana at her mercy. Diana gives the speech she should have given FIVE ISSUES AGO about how she's not under Circe's control anymore, and that whatever decision she makes is up to her.
Wonder Woman: If this war really is your will and desire, then go ahead. Finish the job. Kill me.
Linkara: WOULD SOMEBODY JUST KILL SOMEBODY! OR BETTER YET, EVERYBODY, JUST KILL YOURSELVES!!
Linkara (v/o): No, Hippolyta throws the sword aside. However, Circe has arrived to exposit that this whole thing was never about Wonder Woman. Really? I would have never guessed that with the almost complete LACK OF HER PRESENCE IN THE COMIC! Apparently, this was all some scheme to get revenge against the gods for letting Hercules take her daughter away, or some crap like that; is anyone really paying attention at this point? She further explains that when she brought Hippolyta back to life, she was imbued with Circe's own soul.
Circe: Little did the gods know she'd be tainted. That she'd be more like me!
Linkara: Yes, that's right, kids. Free will? (scoffs and waves dismissively) Load of malarkey. You're just born evil. (becomes angry as he picks up a cane) This is my CLUE STICK!!! (he hits the camera with it a few times)
Linkara (v/o): Circe starts attacking them, but then Athena appears in the sky.
Athena: This has gone far enough.
Linkara: I've been saying that since the first issue!
Linkara (v/o): Circe, pinnacle of wisdom that she is, mocks the goddess for not doing anything to stop the war earlier. So Athena vaporizes her. Why do I get the feeling that Circe's stratagem isn't exactly going to be taught alongside Sun Tzu's "Art of War"? Wonder Woman also starts berating the goddess. Did she not just see Circe get turned into a smoldering hole in the ground? Anyway, Athena says it was time for the Amazons to face a test, one which they failed utterly.
Linkara: (writing on a paper) F... quadruple... minus.
Linkara (v/o): She mentions how Artemis and Phillipus didn't do crap and how the Amazons should be held to a higher standard, also mentioning that they're not human, which is total bullcrap but matches up with everything else this turd has said. And thus the Amazons must be punished, making them all disappear, and Themyscira suddenly shows up, floating 93 miles off the coast. (as one superhero in the assembled crowd) Um, is the comic over? Can we go home now? (normal again) Oh, but she's not done yet; now it's time to yell at everybody else. Athena, looking strangely like Bettie Page, says that none of their hands are clean.
Athena: Some of you acted rashly, endangering the lives of innocents-- and threatening to take the conflict to a new level.
Linkara (v/o): See? Even Athena admits this comic keeps reaching new lows.
Athena: Some of you attacked the rights of others-- seeing liberty as just another battlefield casualty. (the panel during this part shows someone, presumably the President, recovering in a hospital, reading the paper)
Linkara: (as the President, reading the paper) Hot damn, early retirement!
Athena: And some became so caught up with battle strategy that you worried only how to fight-- instead of how not to.
Linkara (v/o): What the Funk and Wagnall is she talking about?! Batman was supposed to just stand there and get stabbed by the Amazons instead of fighting?!
Athena: The war is over. Make the most of the peace-- before the inevitable next conflict begins.
Linkara (v/o): And so, Athena vanishes into the sky. (as Superman) So... anyone want to get a burrito or something? (normal again) By the way, final page count: out of 152 pages, Wonder Woman appears in 29. That's not even a fifth of the book! However, we're not done yet! In Olympus, Athena looks into a mystical pool, revealing that the Amazons now live among humans in secret, not knowing their past heritage. The only one who remains is Hippolyta, alone in Themyscira. But wait, what's this?! The other Greek gods are chained up, saying that this person isn't Athena?!
Linkara: Oh, my God! The secret of "Amazons Attack"! I-I mean, it could be Ares, god of war, usurping the gods in some fashion! It could be some longtime Wonder Woman foe, who makes perfect sense to have been manipulating things! (hyperventilates, then becomes excited) All right! Who is it?!
Fake Athena: Hmm. Perhaps you're right. Perhaps "justice" isn't the proper word. But you must admit... (the fake Athena is revealed to be Granny Goodness!) ...Goodness has certainly triumphed!!
Linkara: (too stunned to speak for a long time) Granny Goodness? (adjusts his glasses) Granny Goodness?! From the frigging "New Gods"?! A character that has absolutely nothing to do with the Amazons or the Greek pantheon?! But... But what does this have to do with...
(Before he can finish, the answer appears: a shot of the cover for a comic called "Countdown To Final Crisis", showing Granny Goodness; a dramatic sting is heard during this)
Linkara: (shocked beyond belief) "Countdown"? This entire event comic WAS JUST A FREAKING TIE-IN TO "COUNTDOWN"?!? (inhales sharply) YOU'VE WASTED FOUR MONTHS WORTH OF COMICS, DESTROYED WONDER WOMAN'S MYTHOS, ALL SO YOU COULD MAKE SOME STUPID TIE-IN TO ANOTHER HORRIBLE COMIC?!?!?!?! AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
(A montage begins, set the Wurzels' "Combine Harvester", as Linkara has a meltdown over the horrible revelation of it all. He is first seen sobbing; then he is seen punching the comic with his fist. Later, he clutches at his face in aggravation, before punching the comic some more, before withdrawing his hand in pain. Then he lets out a scream at the camera, punches himself in the head repeatedly, and then tries to cut his wrist with a Power Rangers toy dagger, which does not cut at all. He then punches himself one more time before picking up the bunny statue from before)
Linkara: Look at the pretty bunny! (breaks down crying) Look at the pretty bunny-y-y-y-y...!
(He then clutches his teddy bear from earlier, fires a laser blast from his magic gun into the air, and then uses it to try to cut off his wrist, but to no avail)
Linkara: Why doesn't it work?!
(Finally, he holds up the comic again, the montage and the music ended)
Linkara: THIS... COMIC... SUCKS!!! (hyperventilating) No, wait, "sucks" is too good a word for it! I only wish that somehow I could DESTROY IT UTTERLY!! MAKE IT NOT EXIST! MAKE IT–
(Suddenly, he gets interrupted by a flashing)
Linkara: I... Wait, what the–
(Suddenly, there is one more flash, and Linkara disappears! He is seen, in cartoon form, teleporting through a time warp, screaming his head off as he does so, even having to take a breath before screaming some more. Finally, he emerges from the time warp and falls into the middle of an ancient coliseum, all in cartoon form like he is)
Linkara: (getting up and clutching his head) Gah... my head... What was that?
(To his surprise, he sees a crowd cheering in the gallery)
Linkara: (clutching his hat) Sweet Steven Seagal, where am I?!
(Looking up, he sees before him Athena, who raises her hand, silencing the crowd, then addresses him)
Athena: Great reviewer of illustrated tomes, you have been chosen to fight alongside my greatest champion.
(Looking to his side, Linkara sees... Wonder Woman, who draws her sword)
Wonder Woman: Let us vanquish our foe to the depths of Hades.
(Suddenly, the floor before them cracks and then parts. Rising out of the crack is a giant version of the comic "Amazons Attack"! Smiling, Linkara pulls out his magic gun)
Linkara: What she said!
(They start charging toward the comic, and the scene freezes)
(TO BE CONTINUED?)
(end)
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| 2015:
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Miller Time: All-Star Batman and Robin 9 · Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters 2 · Trouble 1 · Comic Book Quickies 4 · PSA Hell: Energy and Safety with the Justice League · Youngblood 7 · ROMTROSPECTIVE: ROM Spaceknight 1-40 · ROMTROSPECTIVE: ROM Spaceknight 41-75 · The Star Wars 1 · Batman: Jazz 3 · Mr. T and the T-Force 3 · Big Bang Presents 3: Protoplasman! · Crimson 1 · Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines (RPG Game) · Titans: Scissors, Paper, Stone · PSA Hell: Batman: Shadow of the Bat 57 · Comic Book Quickies 5 · Avengers Assemble Featuring Captain Citrus 1 · Doctor Who/Star Trek: The Next Generation: Assimilation Squared · My Cage · The Punisher 60 · The Punisher 61 & 62 · Steam Wars · Ultimate Power 1-2 · Homestuck, Act 1 · Atomic Robo, Vol. 3 · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating Superman · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating Batman · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating Wonder Woman · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating The Flash · Zyuranger Episodes 17-22 · Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: The Computer Trap · Trouble 2 · Pokémon Reburst, Chapter 1 · Green Lantern 23.1 · Team Youngblood 1 · US-1 5 · The Star Wars 2 · Power Man and Iron Fist 79 · Nightmares on Elm Street 1-2 · Nightmares on Elm Street 3-4 · Nightmares on Elm Street 5-6 · Spider-Man: Virtual Mortality · More Fun Comics 73 · Daredevil 1 · Action Comics 252 · Tales of Suspense 52 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 1 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 2 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 3 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 4 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 5 · Deadpool Bi-Annual 1 · Cho Dengeki Stryker · Zombies Christmas Carol 1-3 · Zombies Christmas Carol 4-5 · Another 15 Missed Opportunities of AT4W
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| 2016:
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NFL SuperPro Special Edition 1 · Popeye: Borned to the Sea 1 · OnStar Batman Auto Show Special Edition 1 · Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters 3 · The Star Wars 3 · Youngblood 8 · All-Star Batman and Robin 10 · Pokémon Adventures Ch. 1-2 · Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger Episodes 1-5 · Blue-Skying, Part 1: Blue Beetle Dan Garrett · Blue-Skying, Part 2: Blue Beetle Ted Kord · Blue-Skying, Part 3: Blue Beetle Jaime Reyes · Blue-Skying, Part 4: Blue Beetle Jaime Reyes New 52 · Star Trek Special: Flesh and Stone · Blackest Night 1-8 · Dart 1 · Batman: Shadow of the Bat 58 · The Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky · Ultimate Power 3 · Star Trek: The Next Generation 3 · Comic Book Quickies 6 · 400th Episode · 400th Episode: Part 2 · Superman vs. the Amazing Spider-Man · Titans/Young Justice: Graduation Day 1 · Titans/Young Justice: Graduation Day 2 · Titans/Young Justice: Graduation Day 3 · 15 Things Wrong With Marvel's Civil War · Star Trek: Deep Space Nine 1 · The Minister of Chance · US-1 6 · Star Trek: Voyager 1 · Unsounded, Chapter 1 · Biggles and the Menace from Space · Batman and Robin: The Official Comic Adaptation · Superman and the TRS-80 Computer Whiz Kids: Victory by Computer · Star Trek/Green Lantern: The Spectrum War · My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic 27-28 · Yu-Gi-Oh! GX Ch. 1 · Pryde of the X-Men · A Nightmare on Elm Street: Paranoid 1 · A Nightmare on Elm Street: Paranoid 2 · A Nightmare on Elm Street: Paranoid 3 · Spider-Man: Cyberwar · The Real Ghostbusters in Ghostbusters II 1-3 · Strange Tales 110 · More Fun Comics 73: Aquaman · Tales of Suspense 57 · All-Star Comics 3 · My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic 2015 Holiday Special · Ghostbusters: Past, Present, and Future · Elvira's House of Mystery Special 1 · Another 15 Screw-Ups of AT4W
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| 2017:
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Digimon: Digital Monsters 1 · Phonogram: The Immaterial Girl 1-6 · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1 · Trouble 3 · The Star Wars 4 · Spectacular Spider-Man Episode 1x10 - "Persona" · Youngblood 9 · The A-Team 2 · The Batman/Superman Movie: World's Finest · See You Next Mirror: Exiles Retrospective, Part 1 · See You Next Mirror: Exiles Retrospective, Part 2 · Reagan's Raiders 1 · Fist of the North Star, Ch. 1 · Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters 4 · Iron Man: The Animated Series - The Wedding of Iron Man · Athena 3 · Batman: The Dark Knight 1-3 · The New Teen Titans Anti-Drug Giveaway 2 · Crisis on Infinite Earths · Secret Wars (1984) · The Infinity Gauntlet · Flashpoint · Babylon 5 1 · The Star Wars 5 · All-New Ghost Rider, Volume 2 · Robocop vs. the Terminator 2 · Superman vs. the Terminator 2 · Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: News By Computer Foils Kidnappers · Ultimate Power 4 · Delicious in Dungeon, Vol. 1 · Batman: Odyssey 1 · Asterix: The Legionary · Comic Book Quickies 7 · JoJo's Bizarre Adventures Episodes 1-4 (2012-2013 series) · Thunderbirds Are Go · Batman: The Official Movie Adaptation · Ultimate Iron Man Vol. 1 1-2 · My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic 11-12 · Stormwatch 0 · A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Beginning 1-2 · A Nightmare on Elm Street: Fearbook · New Line Cinema's Tales of Horror 1 · The Sensational Spider-Man 0 · Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash · Marvel Comics 1 · Brave and the Bold 28 · Kamen Rider Fourze Episodes 1-4 · Clive Barker's Hellraiser Dark Holiday Special · Sensation Comics 14: The Story of Fir Balsam · Steam Wars Holiday Special · Christmas with the Superheroes 2
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| 2018:
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My Top 15 Favorite Episodes of AT4W · Legion of Superheroes: The Great Darkness Saga · James Bond, Jr. 1 · JLA/Avengers · Homestuck, Act 2 · Isaac Asimov's I-Bots 1 · Thunderstrike 1 · Youngblood 10 · Badrock 1A · Event Comics Month II: Infinite Crisis · Event Comics Month II: Infinity War · Event Comics Month II: World War Hulk · Event Comics Month II: Final Crisis · Power Rangers Turbo vs. Beetleborgs Metallix 1 · Diesel 1 · Teen Titans: "Betrayal" and "Aftershock, Parts 1 and 2" · The Punisher: Purgatory · Comic Book Quickies 8 · 500th Episode · Dark Knight III: The Master Race 1-2 · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating Green Lantern · The New Guardians 3 · US-1 7 · Nova Girls: Space 34-24-34 · Batman: Odyssey 2 · Star Wars 3-D 2 · Pokémon - The Electric Tale of Pikachu 3 · PSA Hell: Captain America Meets the Asthma Monster · Superman and Spider-Man · Amazing Cow Heroes 4: Cold Cuts · Ravage 2099 2 · Adventures of the Kool-Aid Man 2 · Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: Safeguarding the Environment · Mr. T and the T-Force 4 · Star Trek 2 (DC) · Star Trek (2009): The Official Motion Picture Adaptation · Star Trek: The Next Generation 4 · Star Trek 1 (Gold Key) · Silent Hill: Hunger · The Thing: The Northern Nightmare · Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash: The Nightmare Warriors · Spider-Man: Smoke and Mirrors · Hellraiser: Hell on Earth · Fantastic Four 52 · Marvel Comics 1 (The Human Torch) · The Incredible Hulk 181 · The New Mutants 98 · Batman Returns: The Official Comic Adaptation · The Punisher: Red X-Mas · Star Wars: The Force Awakens Comic Adaptation · Luke Cage, Hero for Hire 7
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| 2019:
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Yet Another 15 Missed Opportunities of AT4W · Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters 5 · Batman/Aliens 1 · Phineas and Ferb: Mission Marvel · Pokémon 15x19-20 "Cilan Takes Flight" and "An Amazing Aerial Battle" · Tomb Raider Vol. 3: Queen of Serpents · Little Victory: Chimera 1 · Youngblood 0 · Kickers, Inc. 1 · The Savage Dragon 1 · Darkwing Duck 1-4 · The California Raisins 3-D 5 · Hellstar Remina, Ch. 1-3 · Gallery of Horrors · Batman: The Dark Knight 16-17 · Tremors · Ultimate Power 5-6 · Batman Forever: The Official Comic Adaptation · Street Fighter: The Official Comic Adaptation · Catwoman: The Official Comic Adaptation · Dune: The Official Comic Adaptation · Superman IV: The Quest for Peace Movie Special · Justice is Silent: Cassandra Caintrospective, Part 1 · Justice is Silent: Cassandra Caintrospective, Part 2 · Justice is Silent: Cassandra Caintrospective, Part 3 · US-1 8 · Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: Community Action Program · Captain America Goes to War Against Drugs · Comic Book Swimsuit Issues · Batman 45-47: The Gift · Star Trek: The Next Generation 5 · The A-Team 3 · JoJo's Bizarre Adventures Episodes 5-9 · Trouble 4 · Franken Fran, Ch. 1 and 4 · Youngblood: Judgment Day · Teen Titans 27-28 · Clive Barker's Hellraiser 1 · Clive Barker's Hellraiser Summer Special · Clive Barker's Hellraiser Spring Slaughter · Spider-Man: The Exile Returns · Detective Comics 225 (Martian Manhunter) · Batman: Harley Quinn 1 · DC Comics Presents 26 · The Flash 123 · Evil Dead 2: A Merry Deadmite X-Mas · Transformers (UK) 145 · The All-New Batman: The Brave and the Bold 14 · Star Wars: The Last Jedi Comic Adaptation
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| 2020:
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Top 15 Dumbest Evil Plans of AT4W · Batman/Aliens 2 · Star vs. the Forces of Evil: Deep Trouble 1-4 · Megamind · Revolution · Superman vs. Muhammad Ali · Hellstar Remina, Ch. 4-6 · Youngblood: Strikefile 1 · Comic Book Quickies 9 · Black Panther, Vol. 4 1-6 · Batman: Odyssey 3 · Justice League/Mighty Morphin Power Rangers · The Champions, Vol. 3 1-4: Beat the Devil · Star Trek vs. Transformers · Athena 4 · Daredevil: Born Again · Action Comics 775 · Comic Book Quickies 10 · 600th Episode · Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Comic Adaptation · Star Wars: Attack of the Clones Comic Adaptation · Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith Comic Adaptation · Star Wars: Rogue One Comic Adaptation · DC Challenge! 1 · Kyoryu Sentai Zyurangers Episodes 40-43 · Trouble 5 · Dan Dare: Voyage to Venus · Superman 358 · Zero Hour: Crisis in Time · House of M · Secret Empire · Heroes in Crisis · Animax 1 · Ninjutsu 1-2 · Green Goblin 1-2, 4, 8, 12-13 · US-1 9 · Emergency! 1 · Mr. T and the T-Force 5 · Pinhead 1-3 · Pinhead 4-6 · Pinhead vs. Marshal Law · Spider-Man: Web of Life · Marvel Super-Heroes 12 (Captain Marvel) · The Flash 110 · The Amazing Spider-Man 129 · Awesome Comics Holiday Special · Transformers (UK) 41 · Solo: A Star Wars Story Comic Adaptation
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| 2021:
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Yet Another 15 Screw-Ups of AT4W · Star Trek Book and Record Set: Dinosaur Planet · DC Challenge! 2 · The Mighty Heroes 1 · Justice League 1x01-3: Secret Origins · The Star Wars 6 · The King of Braves GaoGaiGar Ep. 1-4 · Youngblood: Strikefile 2 · Pokémon 15×01-02: "Enter Elesa, Electrifying Gym Leader" & "Dazzling the Nimbasa Gym" · Stanley and his Monster 1-4 · Marvel Than Meets the Eye: The Transformers 1-40 · Marvel Than Meets the Eye: Transformers 41-80 · Marvel Than Meets the Eye: Generation 2 and Regeneration One · Star Trek 9 (Gold Key) · Star Trek/Legion of Superheroes · Mystery Science Theater 3000 1 · Batman: The Dark Knight Returns · Ultimate Power 7-8 · Batman: The Dark Knight 23.4 · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating Aquaman · Sword Interval: Flashback Arc · PSA Hell: The Amazing Spider-Man: Riot at Robotworld · Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (Ultimate Edition) · Transformers/Ghostbusters: Ghosts of Cybertron · The New Guardians 4 · Codename: Ninja 1 · Batman: Hush · Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger Ep. 15-16 · Mr. T and the T-Force 6 · Doom’s IV 1 · Batman and Elmer Fudd & Catwoman and Sylvester and Tweety · Batman: Odyssey 4 · The Dresden Files: Storm Front, Vol. 1 · US-1 10 · Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters 6 · DC Challenge! 3 · Marvel Super Special 1: KISS · The Ring, Vol. 1 · The Ring, Vol. 2 · Spider-Man: Web of Death · Detective Comics 359 · The X-Men 4 · Batman 1 · Spider-Man Holiday Special 1995 · The Adventures of Chrissie Claus 1 · Christmas Quickies 1 · Still Another 15 Missed Opportunities of AT4W
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| 2022:
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Ultimate Power 9 · The Adventures of Superboy 3x05-06 and 4x07-08 · Batman: The Killing Joke Adaptation · Just Imagine Stan Lee Creating the JLA · Chew: Poyo Character Focus · Youngblood: Strikefile 3 · Doctor Who: Logopolis · Armageddon 2001 · Secret Invasion · Civil War II · Dark Nights: Metal · The Star Wars 7 · Sonic the Hedgehog: Tangle and Whisper
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| Specials:
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AT4W 2009 Trailer · Linkara's Take on Watchmen · Watchmen Review · Theme Song Contest · The Spoony Experiment: Warrior #1 · Theme Song Contest Winner! · Blackest Night · Silent Hill: Dying Inside Trailer · Silent Hill Alternate Endings · AT4W & Spoony: Experiment Warrior 2-3 · October 2010 Trailer · Silent Hill: Dead/Alive Review Alternate Endings · The Live Show! · AT4W Story Recap · October 2011 Trailer · Return of AT4W Live! · Revenge of the AT4W Live! · Southland Tales · Curse of AT4W Live · House of AT4W Live! · Ghost of AT4W LIVE! · October 2012 Trailers · Bride of AT4W Live! · Son of AT4W Live! · Night of AT4W Live! · Day of AT4W Live! · Dawn of AT4W Live! · Land of AT4W Live! · Diary and Survival of AT4W Live! · Power of AT4W Live! · Midnight of AT4W Live! · Planet of AT4W LIVE! · Genesis of AT4W LIVE! · 300th Episode Livestream Recordings · Destiny of AT4W LIVE! · Resurrection of AT4W LIVE! · Revelation of AT4W Live! · Remembrance of AT4W LIVE! · The New 52 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 1 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 2 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 3 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 4 · Atop the Fourth Wall: The Movie, Part 5
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