Alpha and Omega

Alpha and omega nc.jpg

Release Date
May 20, 2020
Running Time
22:18
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(The Channel Awesome logo and NC title sequence play)

NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. (beat) So, what the hell is Alpha and Omega?

(The opening title is shown before footage of the movie plays)

NC (vo): Released in 2010, I've never even heard of this film outside of all the requests I've gotten for me to review it. So I looked it up and found it's not just a movie, but it's, surprisingly, a franchise. The film made 25 million in America from a $20 million budget. Not great, but it also made 25 million in other countries, racking up a decent profit. So there's, surprisingly, a (The covers for the Alpha and Omega sequels are show) lot of straight-to-DVD sequels. Seven, to be exact. Which got me thinking, maybe it's like The Land Before Time movies, where people really liked the first one and the sequels tried to exploit it to dea–

(The Rotten Tomatoes page for Alpha and Omega is superimposed briefly, displaying 16% on the Tomatometer and 41% on the Audience Score)

NC (vo): Or maybe not. Nevertheless, this has accumulated a following. I'm not sure if it's a favorable following, but people do like to talk about it for some reason. Is it a film kids liked, a film kids hated, a film kids liked but then hated as adults? I can't entirely say. But what I can say is that it's been ten years since the film came out, everyone wants me to review it, so that's what I'm gonna do today.

NC: So sit back and...enjoy? We're gonna see what all the fuss is about with Alpha and Omega.

NC (vo): It opens with a pack of wolves dog-sledding...

NC: I, too, am astonished they didn't make that joke.

NC (vo): ...and two sister wolves chasing each other.

(We alternate between the dog-sledding and the sisters' chase)

NC: (deadpan) Hmm, I wonder if this movie was...

(The poster for this movie is shown, emphasizing that this is "A Pawsome 3D Adventure")

NC (vo): Remember when movies had to be good...

NC: ...to be good?

(The dog-sledding wolves are shown, emphasizing the one in the front)

NC (vo): It looks like this is Humphrey, played by Justin Long...

(Cut to the two sister wolves, one with gold-colored fur and the other with white fur)

NC (vo): (about the gold-colored wolf) ...and this is Kate, played by Hayden Panettiere. And just to be clear, no, this is not one of the direct-to-DVD movies. This actually is the animation for a cinematic release. It's like if the Norm of the North team did Balto; it has very little detail. Well, except for a few specific areas.

(One such area has Humphrey and Kate leaping into the air towards each other with their front legs outstretched. They grab and hug each other in midair, spinning in a circle as they do)

NC: (nonplussed) I think I'm seeing why this has a following.

(The scene is replayed)

NC (vo; as woman): Honey, what are you doing in there? (as young man) Just figuring things out, Ma! (as the mother) Well, I can help you figure things out. What are you watching? (as son) Alpha and Omega. (as mother) You're right, you can figure that one out on your own. (normal) It looks like Kate is going to alpha school, leaving Humphrey behind.

Another wolf [Winston] (Danny Glover): (to Humphrey) She will be a trained alpha. You'll be a clever Omega.

(Humphrey crouches down under Winston's legs and watches Kate leave)

Winston: Learn to keep the peace.

(Humphrey hardly hears him as he stares at her leaving, in wide-eyed amazement)

NC: (creeped out) I feel like I'm watching someone's... (makes "finger quotes") "personal collection". I don't know what, just it's a "personal collection".

NC (vo): Time goes by as Humphrey comes across Kate again, but he also has to stay away because she's an Alpha and he's an Omega, and they're not allowed to be romantically involved.

Another wolf [Salty] (voiced by Brian Donovan): (to Humphrey) Set your sights over there.

(He gestures toward two other female wolves, Reba and Janice, who are eating some berries from some branches held up by squirrels)

Salty: The veggie-tarians.

(Reba and Janice look toward Humphrey, smiling, their faces full of berry juice)

NC: (waves dismissively) Oh, that old vegetarian cliche...

NC (vo): ...that they like to eat berries that are fed to them by squirrels and have weird smiles.

NC: It's 2020! I thought we were past this!

NC (vo): But two other wolves attack their prey, while Kate leads her pack...by bringing up the rear in support.

(A herd of caribou come stampeding toward the wolves, who run off)

NC (vo): This causes a stampede, but Kate leaps in to save her friends.

(The wolves, being chased by the caribou, spot Kate coming toward them. She leaps from one caribou back to another, with a snippet of Mufasa falling to his demise being thrown in briefly (as if to reflect how much this is like the wildebeest stampede in that movie), until Kate manages to get to the front of the herd and get the wolves being chased out of the way. The wolves that instigated the stampede are outraged and confront Kate's pack)

NC (vo): All the wolves are furry-ous...

(NC laughs as a rimshot is heard, but he shakes his head in disgust at how bad that was)

NC (vo): ...because their prey got away, and they start fighting. So Humphrey comes in to calm things down.

Wolf: Come on, the caribou are laughing at us!

(Upon a cliff, the wolves spot the caribou swinging their rears at them and laughing, as if trying to moon them)

Humphrey: Oh, now, that's a moon I don't want to howl to.

(The other wolves laugh, except for those who instigated the stampede)

NC: (silly voice) It's funny, 'cause poops and farts come outta there!

Winston: (sternly) Get back to the den!

NC (vo): So I guess the alphas' jobs are to lead and the omegas' jobs are to be the peacekeepers. No wonder wolves carry...

(Cut briefly to a shot of a real wolf carrying a copy of "To Perpetual Peace" by Immanuel Kant in its mouth)

NC (vo): ...so many copies of Immanuel Kant.

(Cut back to the movie again as we see Kate's mother, Eve, voiced by Vicki Lewis)

NC (vo): Kate's mother has a...strange reaction, to say the least.

Winston: The eastern wolves ruined Kate's hunt. (Eve snarls and makes a snapping motion with her jaws) The Omegas were there to break up the fight. (Eve sighs with pleasure)

NC: (holds up hand, mock-menacing tone) Beware, she comes with a terrible curse! (Eve's snarl and snap are shown again) But she also comes with a free frogurt. (Eve's sigh is shown again; normal again) Food is tight, as their leader, Winston, played by Danny Glover, is getting upset that the neighboring pack is stealing their food and attacking their clan.

(Other wolves come up to Winston)

Wolf: Candu was jumped.

Eve: Whoever did this, let's rip his tail off and shove it down his throat.

NC: Okay, I'd say get her some medication, but she's the most entertaining character so far.

NC (vo): Winston meets with the leader of the warring pack, Tony, played by Dennis Hopper, as they plan to unite the packs by having Kate and his son, Garth, wed.

Tony: (walking away) I won't let my pack starve, Winston. If we have to... (stomps his paw down on a flower, crushing it) we'll fight for the valley.

NC: See? This is why he's cemented as a great actor. Oh, not because this is a groundbreaking performance. I mean, all great actors have to die...

(Shots of several deceased actors, accompanied by posters of their last movies are shown: Raul Julia in the Street Fighter movie (M. Bison); John Candy in Wagons East (James Harlow); James Stewart in An American Tail: Fievel Goes West (voice of Wylie Burp))

NC (vo): ...with their last films being light-years beneath their talents.

Tony: Garth knows his responsibility. Does Kate?

NC (vo): Kate understands that she has to marry Garth, whom she will meet that night at the Moonlight Howl.

Kate: I understand. It's...It's my responsibility.

(Meanwhile, Humphrey and his pack jump into a small pool to wash up for the night)

NC (vo): But all this heavy stuff doesn't have to get in the way of our boys getting ready to strut.

(We next see them strutting down the path, to the tune of "Don't You Want Me" by The Human League)

NC: You know, for a starving pack, (points) how is...

(The camera zooms in on one wolf in particular, who is relatively plump)

NC (vo): ...that one so pleasantly plump? Even Kate gets dolled up for the big night, which to a wolf means putting a flower in your ear. (An image of a tramp stamp is shown in the corner) It's the tramp stamp of the dog world.

Eve: (to Kate) If Garth gets out of line, go for the throat and don't let go until the body stops shaking. (Kate stares, wide-eyed)

NC (vo): Okay, seriously...

NC: (shaking his head apprehensively) ...are any of these DVD sequels titled Mother Eats Her Own?

(As he says this, an image of this made-up sequel with this title is shown, showing a snarling Eve with blood on her jaws)

NC (vo): The Moonlight Howl begins and...

(Two wolves get up on their hind legs and sing and dance and howl to some offscreen music)

NC: (wide-eyed) It's rare that I say this, but someone spent...

NC (vo): ...waaaay too much time animating this.

(The Moonlight Howl continues)

NC: (sighs) Okay, if you just showed me some of these clips alone, I probably wouldn't think twice about it, but going from wolves mostly walking on all fours to that (Image of the following appears in the corner...) orgy dance from Matrix Reloaded does stand out a little bit.

(One female wolf does a particularly sexy dance)

NC (vo): You see that?!

NC: (imitates her moves) She did the sucky-sucky thing! Play it again!

(The scene replays)

NC (vo): You see?! Sucky-sucky! How do people give shit for (The infamous shot of The Lion King, where dust seems to form the word "SEX", is shown) "SEX" being written in Lion King, yet this gets a free pass?!

Salty: Wow, this is a new feeling.

NC: (uneasily) Please explore it privately.

NC (vo): Kate arrives to the ceremony, too, and...

(Moonlight shines down on Kate as the camera slows down to show how Kate looks)

Salty: Kate is hot.

(Kate tries to flip her hair as she tosses her head to the side)

NC: Stop trying to make me into this!

NC (vo): If this your thing, fine, I don't care! You do you!

NC: But if this kind of stuff continues, (Shots of the wolves are shown off to the side with censor bars on certain private parts of their bodies) we're gonna have to censor bars on these characters!

NC (vo): Kate sees Garth, and at first, it may not be too bad. They both seem attracted to each other, but Humphrey cock-blocks and tries to put the moves on her himself.

Humphrey: (walking around Garth) Ha ha, you are... you are a big one. (Garth stares incredulously) Why, you are...practically a moose!

NC: (listlessly shaking his head) Do I even have to with that one?

NC (vo): Kate goes along with Garth, though, and discovers his howl is so bad, it shoots birds down mid-flight. Yeah, okay, that's pretty funny.

Kate: I, uh, need some...water. (She leaves)

Garth (voiced by Chris Carmack): I'll just, uh, keep my vocal chords warm.

Kate: (giggling nervously) Yeah... (darts away)

NC (vo): So you see, the moral, girls, is if your boyfriend's a bad singer, he has no redeemable qualities and you should dump him, even if it means letting your people starve. It's cool. A movie with this (The Moonlight Howl dance scene is shown again) told you it was okay!

(While Kate is off in hiding, trying to figure out what to do, Humphrey pops his head in the entrance. Kate screams a startled scream, and Humphrey responds in kind)

NC: Future alpha all the way. (nods)

(The next thing they know, however, hunters shoot them with tranquilizer darts, which knock them out)

NC (vo): Both of them, though, get shot with darts, and are captured by hunters. The hunters set them loose miles away, though, where they come across other animals who seem to enjoy playing golf.

(Humphrey and Kate spot something unusual: a goose [Marcel] and a duck [Paddy] playing golf with a stick for a club and a rock for a ball. A group of hedgehogs look on with uncertainty)

Hedgehog: (about Marcel) He's using the wrong club.

Paddy (voiced by Eric Price): (to the hedgehog) Could you do me a favor, Needles, and, um, shut the hole that makes the words?

NC: (shrugs) Like I said, there's a good laugh every here and there.

NC (vo): Actually, both of these birds are pretty funny.

Marcel (voiced by Larry Miller): (speaking with a pronounced French accent) This is not a lie if you are French.

Paddy: French-Canadian. There's– There's a slash.

Marcel: I said French.

Paddy: Canadian.

Marcel: French!

Paddy: Canadian.

NC (vo): There's a quiet sophistication to them that, frankly, I didn't think was possible in this film. Might get some good chuckles.

Marcel: (to Humphrey and Kate) I have not seen many wolves in these parts, but I am not afraid of wolves. No. I like wolves.

NC: (as Marcel, exaggerating his French accent) For some reason, (A shot of Boris the goose from Balto is shown in the corner) my kind is always teamed up with them – with OUTRAGEOUS accents, you silly king!

NC (vo): He tries flying away, but Humphrey chases him, resulting in near moose butt.

(As Marcel tries to fly away, Humphrey grabs his legs and holds on, resulting in him being dragged along the road, right into the path of a moose's rear)

Humphrey: Oh, no! No, no, no, no!

(Marcel takes to the air with Humphrey still clinging, and his hind legs bumps into the moose's antlers, much to the moose's confusion)

NC: I love how they act like they're above that joke, even...

(The dancing wolves from the Moonlight Howl are shown again)

NC (vo): ...this imagery...

NC: ...is totally fine.

NC (vo): They find out they've been moved to Idaho for reasons that honestly should not surprise you.

Paddy: (to the wolves) You were relocated to, um... (sotto voce) repopulate.

(The camera zooms in close on Kate as she reacts in shock. Humphrey, on the other hand, stares with his mouth open and his tongue hanging out. She reaches out and closes his mouth for him)

NC: You know, for the "strong alpha" in this, her main goal seems to be find a dude to fuck.

(Paddy bends Marcel's neck in chiropractor style, bending it out of whack)

NC (vo): The two birds say they might be able to get them back home after their massage. (A shot of the title character in The Legend of Korra is superimposed) And they say Korra was the first animated gay icon.

Kate: (to the two birds) It's about responsibilities, so I don't expect you to understand. (walks off)

Paddy: (still massaging Marcel's neck) We've done it a million times. I dated a pintail from Jasper once.

(By now, Marcel's neck is bent in several different ways that makes him look unnatural)

NC (vo): Uh, that one killed him.

NC: If not, that thing (A shot of Marcel's ridiculously bent neck is shown in the corner; NC becomes nervous) is definitely haunting my nightmares!

NC (vo): They approach a vehicle with the in-joke every animator gets hard for (...which is of the vehicle's license plate: A113) and see an unusual couple driving it.

Marcel: He was in a motorcycle gang and she was a librarian. It was a bookstore that also sold beer, so they met.

NC: Okay, I like these two. They distract from the imagery...

(The dancing wolves during the Moonlight Howl are shown again)

NC (vo): ...that had me asking why I liked Minerva Mink so much.

NC: (smiling nervously, eyes looking around shiftily) In the way every growing boy did...

(To a creepy note, an image of Minerva Mink appears in the corner. Smiling nervously, NC looks over in the direction of the image)

NC: (whispering) God, that chilled heart can get it...

(His smile slowly sours into a frown, and we go to a commercial break. Upon return, the movie resumes with Kate and Humphrey in the back of the car, which drives off, while Marcel and Paddy fly behind it)

NC (vo): So after Kate and Humphrey get a ride and...leave the birds behind...

NC: (cupping his hands over his mouth) BOO! (sadly) You were the James Woods to this movie's Hercules.

NC (vo): ...Kate's sister Lilly, played by Christina Ricci, agrees to show Garth around until Kate hopefully returns.

Garth: Want to see something an alpha can do?

Lilly: Uh, would my mother approve?

NC: No mother would of most of this film.

(In the van, meanwhile...)

NC (vo): Oh, speaking of which...

(...Kate has gotten on the librarian's glasses and bra. She sees her reflection in the mirror, wearing the accouterments, and gasps, then shakes them off of her)

NC: (listlessly, with his head resting on his hand) You got $20 million to make DeviantArt a movie.

NC (vo): Humphrey really has to pee, though, causing them to lose their ride. How is he gonna make up for screwing them both over?

(Humphrey and Kate are now alone in the woods again, only now it's raining. Humphrey gets up on his hind legs and starts dancing)

Humphrey: (singing) Rain, rain, go away, get out of here, rain... (stops singing as Kate stares) It's a rain dance! To stop it from raining! Duh.

NC: Just then, the two birds (makes a sliding motion with his hands) run them over...

(An image of a truck is edited in sliding into frame, making a crashing sound, as it supposedly runs over the wolves)

NC (vo): ...with the trailer, and it's their movie now!

NC: Oh, come on, how come other people's fantasies...

(The scene of Kate wearing the glasses and bra is replayed)

NC (vo): ...clearly gets a come true in this?!

(Suddenly, the rain turns the cliff they were standing next to into a mudslide and Kate starts to fall toward a rushing river below)

Kate: No!

NC (vo): Kate falls off a cliff, which, listening to him, I'd probably do the same, and Humphrey swings in to save her.

(The next morning, we see them nose to nose as they sleep together, only to be awaken by a rock thrown at them)

NC (vo): But let's get to who's really saving the day here...

(It's the two birds again, who have thrown the rock at them)

Marcel: What do we have here?

(Cut to a clip of an episode of South Park)

Cartman: Oh, thank you, Jesus.

(Cut back to Alpha and Omega)

Paddy: (to Marcel) May I say, that was a stupendous shot.

Marcel: You may, and it was pretty good, wasn't it?

Paddy: Very, indeed, sir, indeed.

NC (vo): Sadly, they're not onscreen very long, as they tell them they can catch a train on the other side of the mountain.

Paddy: (pointing to the mountain) On the other side of that mountain.

Marcel: Paddy, please.

Kate: (to Humphrey) Come on! (She and Humphrey run off)

NC: (sadly) No, please, teach us how to kid! Sing us a song!

(The two birds are shown again, along with an image of Marcel's massaged neck in the corner, with the message: "PERVS OF A FEATHER FUCK TOGETHER")

NC (vo): Do your own self porno!

NC: Just keep us entertained!

(As they head for the train, Humphrey and Kate run into some bears, one of which roars loudly in Humphrey's face. They then advance menacingly on the wolves)

NC (vo): Don't tease me with threats of their deaths! (A collage of shots is superimposed of all the sequels to this movie) I know there's a million sequels! They're gonna live!

(As the bears attack the wolves, they jump over the bears and jump into the open door of a boxcar on a moving train)

NC (vo): They find the train at the same time they anger some bears, but they escape and get on board just in time.

(As the train travels along, night falls and Humphrey looks up at the moon and starts to howl)

Humphrey: Oh, come on, Kate, howl at the moon with me.

NC: Okay, so something interesting happens here.

NC (vo): Back at the pack, Lilly and Garth form a bit of a romance, literally at the same time as Kate and Humphrey. And despite them being on screen for far less time, the side characters have the better romance. They're both kind of awkward, but find charm in each other's strengths. He shows her how to hunt, which we've seen she's bad at, and she shows him how to howl, which we know he's bad at. They spark very quickly, despite being opposites, and they're actually kinda cute together.

NC: With the main leads, they are constantly fighting...

NC (vo): ...constantly name-calling, constantly making it clear why they shouldn't be together. Even when both couples howl at the same time, it means nothing for these two. It's just something they're doing together, where with the other two, it's actually nice, seeing her help him, and even funny when he squirms, thinking he's going to kill these birds with his voice and then doesn't.

NC: (crosses arms) I don't know why people think romances where characters hate each other is romantic, because...

(Lilly and Garth are shown again)

NC (vo): ...as you can see here, characters being romantic is romantic.

NC: Fucking weird, right?!

NC (vo): Garth's father sees him flirting with Lilly, though, and calls the marriage off, deciding to take the valley by force for themselves.

Tony: It's the full moon, Winston.

Winston: I can see that...Tony.

NC: (shakes head) It just hit me: Tony is not an intimidating name.

NC (vo): But the vegetarians... Yeah, remember them? ...try to stop the violence just to remind you they were characters in this movie.

(An earlier scene shows it's the same wolves with berry juice on their faces)

NC (vo): And yeah, they never show up again after this scene.

(The two female vegetarian wolves run by, wearing flowers on their necks, and squirrels on their backs tossing nuts and acorns to the other wolves)

Both wolves: (chanting in unison) Stop the insanity! Go organic! Stop the insanity! Go organic!

NC: (crosses arms) Well, (A shot of Daredevil Dan is shown in the corner) they're no Wayne Brady from Foodfight! And thank God for that.

NC (vo): Now that they're almost home, Humphrey tries admitting his true feelings for Kate.

Kate: These past couple of days, they've been...kind of...fun.

NC: (as Kate) I mean, imagining my pack being killed, especially as an alpha, it's hard not to laugh in these times.

NC (vo): Speaking of which, Kate sees the warring packs and jumps off the train to try and stop them.

Kate: We were taken by humans.

Humphrey: We were supposed to...repopulate.

(Eve stares, then with a growl, she viciously lunges at Humphrey and tries to go for his throat)

Kate: No, no, no, Mom!

NC: You've officially made my list.

(As he speaks, a shot appears in the corner, showing Eve in her "go for the throat" expression and Paddy "massaging" Marcel's neck, along with a message reading: "CHARACTERS I MAYBE DON'T MIND TOO MUCH...MAYBE")

NC (vo): Kate agrees to marry Garth and unite the pack, of course breaking Humphrey's heart.

Humphrey: (to Kate) I just wanted to say goodbye.

Kate: Goodbye?

Humphrey: Yeah, I'm thinking about doing a little travelling, seeing where the train takes me...

NC: (as Humphrey) I hear there's several beautiful cliffs I can jump off of.

NC (vo): Despite Kate and Garth being in love with someone else, they both decide to go through with the ceremony.

Wolf: What's happening?

Salty: (watching) They're accepting each other's scent. (looks again) Oh, and now the nibble on the ears...

NC (vo): Oh, Jesus!

NC: (worried) I know where this is going! Please cut away!

(The train that Humphrey was talking about is shown as it rolls down the tracks)

NC (vo): Oh, thank God! We were two seconds away...

(Cut to a clip of Cats, showing Jennyanydots lying on the floor with her legs out as she does the spread eagle)

NC (vo): ...from Cat Rebel Wilson doing spread eagle!

(Cut back to Alpha and Omega, as Humphrey runs toward the train)

NC (vo): While Humphrey makes his way to the train, Kate finally admits she can't marry Garth because she's in love with him.

Tony: (outraged) An alpha in love with an omega?! That's against pack law!

Garth: I also am in love with an omega.

(A shot of the poster for Guess Who's Coming To Dinner is superimposed)

NC (vo): Yep, Guess Who's Coming To Dinner and this: two biggest barrier breakers in romantic cinema.

Tony: (savagely) This isn't our way!

NC (vo): Tony orders his pack to attack, (The herd of caribou from earlier overhear the brawl and are stampeded) causing yet another stampede. What even spooked them? A distant noise from predators they want to run towards rather than away?

(Humphrey runs for dear life from the caribou as they close in on him)

Kate: Humphrey! (Humphrey runs up to her) We have to help them!

NC: (as Kate) Let me try! Just hand me the controller! (The caribou stampede is shown in the corner) We...are looking at a video game, right?

NC (vo): Of course, our heroes use a sled, providing them with cover. But what about Kate and Humphrey? (They are crawling along the ground toward the cover as the caribou run around them) Oh, they're fine, I guess. Funny, I thought they'd be in more danger...

NC: ...crawling towards them if something like...

(Just as they make it, however, Kate is thrown to the ground by a caribou)

NC (vo): ...that could happen.

NC: Anyone notice she's a really shitty alpha? And he...

(Humphrey runs out into the stampede to bring her to the hiding place)

NC (vo): ...hasn't kept the peace at all!

NC: These two losers deserve each other! (shakes head)

(A worried Humphrey looks at Kate's still body)

Humphrey: Kate, please. You can't do this. (nudges her)

NC (vo): Oh, look at that, she's really gone, guys. Guess we'll have to throw her a funeral tonight.

(The Moonlight Howl with the dancing wolves is shown again)

NC (vo): (incredulously) Even your funerals are like this?!

NC: GOD!

NC (vo): No, they just rip off Far and Away by zooming back in and showing her eyes open.

(Kate comes to and sees Humphrey looking down at her)

Humphrey: Kate...

NC: (as Humphrey) My interest in you being alive is a... (The message "INTEREST IN YOU BEING ALIVE: 4/10" is shown) four? No, no, let's go with a three. (The "4" in the message is changed to a "3")

Kate: Humphrey?

Humphrey: I thought I'd lost you.

(The "INTEREST IN YOU BEING ALIVE" message pops up again)

NC (vo; as Humphrey): Aaaand...down to a 2. (The "3" is replaced by a "2") I was really hoping you were dead, I'm not gonna lie. (normal) Let's celebrate with another orgy!

(That night, having abandoned the law of alphas and omegas not uniting, the two factions of wolves celebrate with another Moonlight Howl, once more with wolves singing and dancing, although this time on all fours)

NC: Oh, they must have gotten a different animator. This isn't nearly...

(Two wolves dancing on their hind legs is shown)

NC (vo): ...as sexualized as before. Yeah, maybe when the first guy finally learned animation, he left to CG Lola Bunny naked.

NC: Just a guess, but I think there's more in favor of that outcome than against.

(As the movie ends, we see Humphrey and Kate harmonize with one another as we pan up to a shot of a full moon)

NC: And there you go. That was Alpha and Omega. I expected... (becomes awkwardly confused) somehow less and more at the same time.

(Footage of the movie is shown one more time as NC gives his final thoughts on it)

NC (vo): Alpha and Omega is not a very good movie, but I can't really say it's a very bad movie either. With the exception of those specifically animated moments, which, granted, are very out of nowhere, the movie's very bland and run-of-the-mill. The story and characters aren't that original, and the animation is nothing spectacular, but it's not insulting or aggravating to watch. There's one or two jokes that got a chuckle out of me, and the ones that didn't aren't painful...for the most part. They're just forgettable. I guess if a kid wanted to watch this movie, I wouldn't see anything wrong with it. I feel like it's a movie children would have on in the background, and chances are, that's the kind of movie it was intending to be: a small little kid's flick. I've seen a lot worse, and yeah, even a lot weirder, so this one doesn't register too high as anything particularly great or awful. It's just there. Yeah, that's what I can say about Alpha and Omega: it's just there. Not a glowing review, but not a bad one either. It's just something that happened and I'll probably forget about in the near future. Take it for what it's worth and see for yourself.

NC: Although, I will say it is a shame I didn't get a chance to see it in 3D, though. Honestly, without saving anything... I mean, imagine that; everybody loving a movie just for the 3D and the visuals.

(Suddenly, he hears the sound of Parker Selfridge speaking, which confuses him/makes him uncomfortable)

Selfridge (Giovanni Ribisi; vo): What the hell have you people been smoking out there? (laughs)

Channel Awesome taglineHumphrey: You are a big one. Why, you are...practically a moose!

(The credits roll)

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