After Earth
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Released
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July 01, 2014
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Running Time
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26:17
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Will Smith: (played by Malcolm Ray) Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. That is near insanity. Do not misunderstand me, the danger is very real. Fear is a choice.
Jaden Smith: (played by Gideon Ray, Jr.) ...Well Dad, can't I choose not to be in a Shyamalan movie?
Will: DENIED! Now get your stupid space suit on, Jaden!
Jaden: Oh, this is like being in Karate Kid with no karate in it.
Will: I heard that!
We then get our intro and fade into NC.
NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. Today, we look at--(the logo for After Earth comes up) (NC groans in frustration, laying his head on his desk) No! No! No, no, no, no, no! (clips of the movie play) Oh, God, not that one! Not that one! Oh, b- Come on! It's so stupid and dumb! J- I- What with the flying, and the- (grumbles) Ah... (beat) So let's take a look.
NC: (vo) Something important to keep in mind this time around is unlike his other films, Shyamalan is not entirely to blame for this one. Will Smith's son, Jaden, was something of a rising star, so to cement his status, Will took it upon himself to write a story starring his son that would hopefully lead to a sci-fi franchise. There was just one problem.
Kitai: That sucked.
Cypher: That is correct.
NC: (vo) Oh, it sucked, alright. It was reported that this film started out as number one on opening day, but word spread so fast that it slipped down a slot the next day, and was so bad that it slipped down another slot the next. Yep, the film was so bad that the public felt a civic duty to alert as many people as quickly as possible about it's horribleness. But like I said, even though the movie has Shyamalan's seal of horrendousness, you can't ignore the ego hand job that the Smith family is obviously giving itself. For example, get a load of Will's intro over Jaden's narration.
(cut to first scene with Kitai lying on the ground, with his face all swollen)
Kitai: (vo) (with accent) I've heard stories of Earth. (clips play, showing how the planet became uninhabitable) A paradise, until we destroyed it. The founding of the United Ranger Corps, one thousand years ago, was a global military effort. An evacuation of Earth.
NC: Dude, what's with the accent? Was your mother Matthew McConaughey?
Kitai: (vo) The aliens released the Ursa. (giant alien creature attacks the screen)
NC: (vo) Oh, yeah, quick side note-- did we forget to mention there's aliens in this world? There's aliens in this world. Quite pointlessly to be honest, as we never see or find out anything about them. Hell, we don't even know what they're called.
NC: They're just referred to as "aliens".
NC: (vo) It'd make sense if they had them be the ones that destroyed the Earth, but then we couldn't get our "man anal fucks environment" message that I'm sure this film is the first one to introduce. (posters of movies like Ferngully, An Inconvenient Truth, Once Upon a Forest, Avatar, and Wall-E appear)
(alien ships drop the Ursas onto Nova Prime)
Kitai: (vo) Technically blind, the Ursa sees humans based on the pheromones we secrete when frightened. They literally smell our fear.
NC: (vo) So, the Ursa-- (onscreen) Wait a minute, they named to pets of the aliens, but not the aliens themselves? (beat) JESUS, GUYS! (vo) --start wiping the human race out, but then a lone hero writes himself into the story.
(cut to battle scene, with Cypher Raige walking calmly past the troops fighting an Ursa, until he's close enough to it, attacking with his cutlass)
Kitai: (vo) And that answer came in the form of the Prime Commander, Cypher Raige.
NC: (stifled laugh) ... I'm sorry, what was that totally run-of-the-mill average name again?
Kitai: (vo) The Prime Commander, Cypher Raige.
NC: (trying to hold in laughter) ... Was Lieutenant "Man Awesome" already taken?
NC: (vo) Look at this shot! It's like the penis compensation of introductions; the hummer, pick-up truck, and convertible all rolled into one.
Kitai: (vo) He's believed to be so completely free of fear, that to an Ursa, he's invisible.
NC: (vo) Will, everybody already wants to be you. You don't need to build yourself up like this. This is like Hugh Hefner trying to convince us he can shoot lasers from his eyes. (picture of Hugh Hefner surrounded by models, as his eyes start glowing red) There's just no need. We're fucking jealous enough! (scene changes to the "Nova Prime Human Settlement" on the "Nova Solar System") So in the Nova training grounds, we see a young group of students wearing the same skintight jumpsuits that are pretty much worn in every fucking future movie.
Kitai is seen running faster than the other rangers.
NC: (vo, as one of the Rangers) Don't pass him; that's Will Smith's kid! (vo, as the rest of the Rangers) Ah!
Velan: Your test scores were very impressive. In the classroom you are an outstanding Ranger, but in the field you collapse.
NC: (vo) Um... how? You never showed us an example of that.
Velan: I'm not advancing you.
NC: (vo) Jesus--I've said this a million times, Shyamalan; show, don't tell! Or at least have what you're showing match up with what you're telling. Based on the two seconds from what we've seen, how is he not performing well? Is it because he cut in line while running? I think an inadequate course could clear that right up! We then see Cypher Raige... (NC is seen with his head down, laughing) ...come home to a world so clearly technologically advanced that apparently, they need rubber bands on their chopsticks.
Kitai: I was not advanced to Ranger.
Cypher: You were not advanced to Ranger...
Kitai: I was not advanced to Ranger, Sir!
NC: (vo) As you can see, Cypher Raige-- (onscreen, laughing) sorry, that will never not be funny-- (vo) is a man who has built his life around having no emotion so he can defeat the enemy... except for this very strange out-of-nowhere spaz-out.
Cypher: Are you asking me or telling me?
Kitai: May I go to my room, sir?
Cypher: DENIED! SIT DOWN!
NC: (vo) It's weird because he doesn't act like this at all throughout the rest of the movie. Even in scenes where he should be angry, he plays it very bland and dull. Most of his performance is like watching the dead corpse of (shows picture of) Mr. Potato Head, yet for some reason he blows up here.
Kitai: May I go to my room, sir?
Cypher: DENIED! SIT DOWN!
NC: (as Cypher) You will not make me have an emotion in a Shyamalan film again!
Cut to Faia who is seen assembling what looks like a holographic structure before shutting it off just as Cypher walks in.
NC: (vo) (chuckles) I just love how a random act of no reason or logic suddenly looks futuristic as long as it's a hologram. I mean, what is she doing? We have no idea! But it's all science-y and shit, so I guess we're never supposed to question it.
Cut to NC sitting down next to Tamara who is moving all sorts of different symbols around on screen.
NC: Hey, Tamara, what you doing?
Tamara: I'm just pointlessly waving my hands in front of these shapes.
NC: Is it a game or--
Tamara: No, no, just pointlessly waving my hands in front of these shapes.
NC: Huh. (pause before announcing in booming voice) THE FUTURE! (The same words appear on screen as an orchestra/choir flourish is heard.)
Back to the movie.
Cypher: I have a last visit to Iphitos. I'm flying tomorrow, supervising training. And after it's completed, I'm announcing my retirement.
NC: Well, clearly you've retired from this performance so I think it'd be a very smooth transition.
Cypher: Maybe I'll work with you.
Faia: That boy in there is trying to find you. He's a feeling boy.
NC: (vo) HA!
Faia: He's an intuitive boy.
NC: (vo) I'm sorry! I've seen Pet Rocks that feel more than this kid has!
Faia: He needs a father.
NC: (vo) So, being a feeling boy with a father who wants his family back, they decide to finally look the issue in the eye and confront it... even if it takes hours.
Cypher: Pack your bags. You're coming with me to Iphitos.
NC: (vo, as Cypher) Good talk there, son. Next week, we'll talk about the death of your kitten. Oh, did I forget to mention it? He's dead. (normal) So before getting on the Blackbird, they're approached by a soldier who Cypher Raige... (onscreen, stifled laughter) (vo) ...apparently saved in war.
Ranger: I was on the plateau. You saved me and four others. I just came from seeing my baby girl's face for the first time.
NC: (vo) As you see, it spawned no emotional impact whatsoever.
Ranger: Stand me up.
Cypher: That won't be necessary, Ranger.
Ranger: I said, stand me up. (the two soldiers standing on both sides of him do just that)
NC: (vo) Um... Will? Could you explain why, in your story, a man who can still use one leg is in a wheelchair when clearly he should just be using crutches?
Cypher: DENIED!
NC: (reacts in surprise) OKAY, OKAY! (vo) So while on the ship Jaden walks through a toothbrush door-- because, you know... (in booming voice) THE FUTURE! (The same words appear on screen as an orchestra/choir flourish is heard.) (vo, normal) --as it seems they trapped an Ursa on the ship.
Sergeant: (steps in front of Kitai) Hey! Authorized personnel only.
One of the soldiers: Might wanna go easy on him, Sarge. That's the prime commander's son right there.
NC: (vo, as Sergeant) Oh! Well, in that case, I better scare the living shit out of him. Maybe it'll give me a promotion!
Sergeant: Your blood is filling with adrenaline right now… whether you know it or not. Your heart’s beating fast. It’s getting a little harder to breathe. Your neurobiological system is telling you to run, but your knees are too weak to move.
Cut to NC, who sings a bit of Michael Jackson's "Thriller" as the screen flashes to the music.
NC: (sings) You close your eyes / And hope that this is just imagination!
Back to the movie, where the Ursa makes a noise that scares Kitai. The Sergeant appears behind him.
Sergeant: She sees you, kid! (the other soldiers laugh)
NC: (vo) But Daddy senses a great disturbance in the dull.
Cypher: What's the last known position of the closest asteroid storm?
Navigator: Two-thousand kilometers to starboard at plus-four-five declination.
Cypher: I detected graviton vibrations in the hull.
Navigator: How?
Cypher: Graviton buildup could be a precursor to mass expansion.
NC: (vo) You know, I'm sure the actors on "Star Trek" have no idea what they're saying, but at least they act like they have some idea what they're saying. You sound like a Will Smith GPS!
Cypher: The pull of our own graviton weight could set the thing off. That storm could be on us in minutes.
Pilot: But, sir, mass expansion is one in a million.
Cypher: Let's just hold course and hope I'm wrong.
NC: (vo) So, just to go over our choices, it's either alter the course slightly or risk every single person's life on this ship! (as one of the pilots) Eh, the button's all the way over there... (green arrow points downward to the screen on the right where there's a lot of buttons next to one of the pilots)
The ship starts rumbling.
Pilot: Engines one and two are off-line! We're losing her!
Cypher: Can you travel us out of here?
Pilot: Where?
Cypher: The Anchorage, Lycia. It's closest.
Navigator: No confirmation signal, sir!
Cypher: Travel us now.
NC: (vo, as Cypher) As you can see, I've been trained to emotionally detach myself from any intense situation. Just don't ask to leave the table before finishing dinner. I will deny you! (normal) So they find the nearest planet to land on, which is, of course, Earth, as the ship is split completely in half and everything inside is almost totally destroyed...except for our hero who doesn't have a single solitary scratch on him.
Kitai is seen among the wreckage until an elastic material covers the screen.
NC: (confused) What the fuck?
The material disappears. Kitai is seen putting his oxygen mask on to breathe before the same elastic material covers the screen again.
NC: (vo) Ah. Let me translate this scene for those of you who don't speak Shyamalan. (clears throat) (big red text "NOTICE MY DIRECTING!" begins flashing on screen as NC speaks in mock director voice) NOTICE MY DIRECTING! NOTICE MY DIRECTING! I KNOW THERE'S A CHARACTER IN STORE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO CARE ABOUT, BUT NOTICE MY DIRECTING! (vo, normal) What the hell is that thing even supposed to do? Zip-Loc your child actor so they don't become even more spoiled? (booming voice) THE FUTURE! (The same words appear on screen as an orchestra/choir flourish is heard.) (vo, normal) Oh, don't worry, kid, Papa Smith won't leave any time soon. Yeah, as he just happens to be the only other person who survived this crash. What a fucking coinkydink!
Cypher: Confirm the Ursa is contained.
Kitai: The back of the ship is gone.
Cypher: (through communicator) Rangers, count-off!
Clip from "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers" TV series is shown.
Black Ranger: Mastodon!
Pink Ranger: Pterodactyl!
Blue Ranger: Triceratops!
Back to the movie as Cypher struggles to sit up and a holographic structure is opening.
NC: (vo) With both his legs broken, he tells his son that he has to do Daddy a solid by travelling all the way across a shit-ton of "what the hell" to set off the emergency beacon.
Cypher: Every single decision you make will be life or death. Everything on this planet has evolved to kill humans.
NC: (vo) With all that nasty wildlife out there, he gives his son the best firearms a futuristic soldier would have...
Cypher: Take my cutlass.
NC: (vo) ...or a double-edged steak knife. Um, Will? Again, I hate to keep bringing this up but can you tell me why a future obviously filled with these high-tech laser guns has a kid-friendly version of a Klingon sword as the only weapon to fight against giant killer animals?
Cypher: DENIED!
NC: (shrugs slightly) Yeah, okay.
Cypher: (vo, from Kitai's radio) Take a knee. Root yourself in this present moment now.
NC: (vo) So inspired by his father's strong words, nothing can stop this determined, motivated machine of bravery...except a spider. Ew! (Kitai slips off the mountain he's climbing after he tries to get a tarantula off his hand)
Cypher: What happened?
Kitai: I'm fine.
NC: (vo) Oh, this is gonna go great. (Kitai is seen walking in the forest) But it doesn't take long for Jaden to find trouble.
Kitai's suit turns completely black.
Kitai: My suit's turned black. I like it but I think it's something bad.
NC: (shakes his head) Sorry, that line was so stupid. Delayed reaction. What?
Kitai: I like it but I think it's something bad.
NC: Who the fuck cares if you like it, kid? What are you, Coco Chanel? I think that might actually be the dumbest thing Shyamalan has ever written, and that's saying a lot!
Kitai: I like it but I think it's something bad.
NC: Dipshit, fashion is not a priority here! Does Shyamalan think most soldiers bring wardrobe appeal into their combat scenarios?
Cut to NC and Malcolm in a war room dressed as army generals
Malcolm: Soldier, what is your status?
Cut to Tamara in an urban environment dressed as a special ops soldier.
Tamara: The enemy has us outnumbered and outgunned, sir!
NC: What kind of garments are they wearing soldier?
Tamara: Fashionably outdated VP cam boots, sir!
Malcolm: Is their camouflage from the Ranger Joe catalog or the RothCo catalog?
Tamara: Ranger Joe, sir!
NC and Malcolm groan
NC: Don't they know that Ranger Joe is so last season!
Malcolm: Please tell me your top combats their blasé fashion sense!
Tamara: Sir, I've got on a black SWAT vest and a black standard issue top!
NC: What about the bottom, soldier?
Tamara: (Camera pulls back to reveal she's wearing...) I've got a beautiful Bohemian Banana Republic skirt and a pair of wonderful flower shoes!
NC: Do the shoes match, soldier? Do the shoes match?!
Tamara: Yes they do, sir!
NC and Malcolm give a sigh of relief
Malcolm: Good. (Gets out a drinking flask while NC gets a bottle of Smirnoff) For a second there I thought we were going to be under duress.
The sound of a gunshot comes over the walkie-talkie.
Tamara: I'm hit!
NC: But at least you died fabulous. (Knocks bottles with Malcolm before they both take a big drink)
The Nostalgia Critic Transcripts
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2008:
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Transformers · Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue · Cloverfield Trailer Review · Power Rangers: A Look Back · Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Book Launch · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movies · The Top 11 Scariest Nostalgic Moments · Super Mario Bros.: The Movie · Cloverfield Review · Street Fighter · Mortal Kombat · Space Jam · The Nerd Rant · The Nerd Rant Part 2 · Pokémon The First Movie · The Nerd Wizard Rant · The Wizard · The Top 11 Naughtiest Moments in Animaniacs · Batman & Robin · The Top 11 Catchiest Theme Songs · '90s Sports Montage · The Nerd Response…Response · The Top 11 Drug PSAs · The Battle of Epic Proportions · Captain Planet · Double Dare · 3 Ninjas · Top 11 Hottest Animated Women · Video Game Review · The Search for the Nostalgia Chick · He-Man and the Masters of the Universe · Follow That Bird · Saved By the Bell · Tom and Jerry: The Movie · Top 11 Saddest Moments · Nostalgia Chick Winner · Surf Ninjas · NC vs The Nerd Showdown · Top 11 Nostalgic Animated Shows · Kazaam · The Nerd vs. NC: The Final Battle · Off to Beat the Nerd · Drew Struzan Tribute · Halloween '08 Special · Double Dragon · Top 11 Underrated Nostalgic Classics · Howard the Duck · Mortal Kombat: Annihilation · Godzilla · Top 11 Disney Villains · The Super Mario Bros. Super Show · Top 12 Greatest Christmas Specials · Jingle All the Way
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2009:
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Nicktoons · Nickcoms · SNICK · Good Burger · The Making of the Final Battle · Ferngully: The Last Rain Forest · A Kid in King Arthur's Court · The Good Son · The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog · Top 11 Nostalgic Mindfucks · Twister · Garbage Pail Kids · Rock-A-Doodle · Titanic - The Legend Goes On · The Pagemaster · The NeverEnding Story · Moonwalker · Top 11 Dumbest Superman Moments · TMNT · Red Sonja · TGWTG Team Brawl · Short Circuit 1 & 2 · Batman vs. The Dark Knight · Full House · North · Critic and Nerd: TMNT Making of Coming Out of Their Shells · Sidekicks · Gargoyles · Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen · Steel · Top 11 Cereal Mascots · Barb Wire · New vs Old - LOTR Animated vs Lord of the Rings · Last Action Hero · Captain N · We're Back: A Dinosaur's Story · Warriors of Virtue · Captain America · Top 11 F*ckups · Alone in the Dark · Blank Check · Old vs. New: Willy Wonka · Cool as Ice · Suburban Commando · Next Karate Kid · Casper · Superman IV · Congo · Siskel and Ebert Tribute · Judge Dredd · Tank Girl · Jack Frost · He-Man and She-Ra Christmas Special · Next Best Christmas Specials · Star Wars Holiday Special · Ernest Saves Christmas
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2010:
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Commando · Junior · Conan and Conan the Destroyer · End of Days · Battlefield Earth · Bebe's Kids · Lost in Space · Top 11 Villain Songs · Quest for Camelot · Old vs. New: Nutty Professor · Bio-Dome · NeverEnding Story II · Top 11 Most Awkward Christopher Walken Moments · Flubber · Home Alone 3 · Old vs. New: King Kong · Drop Dead Fred · The Care Bears Movie · Kickassia: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 · Jaws 3 · Free Willy · A Troll in Central Park · Theodore Rex · Top 11 Coolest Cliches · Hook · Independence Day · The Room · The Phantom · Zeus and Roxanne · Animaniacs Tribute · Flintstones Movie · Mr. Nanny · Rocky IV · Chairman of the Board · Next Top 11 NC Fuckups · Pound Puppies and the Legend of Big Paw · Pebble and the Penguin · Ernest Scared Stupid · Top 11 Scariest Performances · IT · Leprechaun · My Pet Monster · Commercial Special · Old vs. New: 10 Commandments vs. Prince of Egypt · The Thief and the Cobbler · Waterworld · Little Monsters · Rover Dangerfield · You're a Rotten Dirty Bastard · The First Couple: TMNT
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2011:
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NeverEnding Story III · Ferngully 2 · Secret of NIMH 2 · Care Bears 2 · Dungeons and Dragons · Top 11 Dumbest Spider-Man Moments · The Lost World: Jurassic Park · Return of the Nostalgic Commercials · Inspector Gadget · Old vs. New: The Karate Kid · The Langoliers · Airborne · Baby Geniuses · Raiders of the Story Arc: X-Men · The Magic Voyage · Double Team · Top 11 Dumbasses in Distress · Jaws: The Revenge · Gordy · The OTHER Animated Titanic Movie · Revenge of the Nostalgic Commercials · Once Upon a Forest · Little Nemo · Old vs. New: True Grit · Suburban Knights: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7 · Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon · Milk Money · Rad · Raiders of the Story Arc: Duck Tales · Care Bears in Wonderland · Cop and a Half · Top 11 Batman TAS Episodes · Alaska · Let's Play Bart's Nightmare · James and the Giant Peach · The Avengers · Simon Sez · The Tommyknockers · The Haunting · Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows · Exorcist 2 · Doug's 1st Movie · The Cell · Raiders of the Story Arc: Superman · Felix the Cat · Moulin Rouge · Babes in Toyland · How the Grinch Stole Christmas · Child's Play
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2012:
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Santa Claus: The Movie · Star Trek: The Motion Picture · Star Trek 3: The Search for Spock · Star Trek 5: The Final Frontier · Star Trek 7: Generations · Star Trek 9: Insurrection · Patch Adams · Ponyo · Dunston Checks In · Thomas and the Magic Railroad · Top 11 Nostalgia Critic F*** Ups Part 3 · Richie Rich · Jungle 2 Jungle · Old vs. New: Manhunter vs. Red Dragon · Star Chaser · Transformers Cartoon · A Simple Wish · Alien Resurrection · Jack · Heavy Metal · Mr. Magoo · Top 11 Simpsons Episodes · Signs · Digimon: The Movie · Top 11 F*** YEAH Movie Themes · Baby Geniuses 2 · Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom · The Wiz · Total Recall (with Sci-Fi Guy) · Scooby-Doo · To Boldly Flee: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8 · The Top 11 Best Nostalgia Critic Episodes · The WORST Movies Nostalgia Critic's Reviewed · NC's Top 11 Favorite Jokes
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2013:
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The Review Must Go On · The Odd Life of Timothy Green · Pearl Harbor · Son of the Mask · The King and I · Catwoman · The Cat in the Hat · Top 11 South Park Episodes · Jurassic Park · A.I. Artificial Intelligence · The Master of Disguise · Turbo - A Power Rangers Movie · Top 11 Dumbest Lord of the Rings Moments · Sailor Moon · Les Miserables · Top 11 Adult Jokes We Never Got as Kids · The Last Airbender · Bridge to Terabithia · The Shining Mini-Series · Sharknado · Devil · Dawn of the Commercials · Man of Steel · Top 12 Santa Clauses · Eight Crazy Nights · The Christmas Tree
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2014:
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Face/Off · The Wicker Man · Ghost Rider · Top 11 Strangest Best Couples · Ghost Dad · Disney's Alice in Wonderland · Top 11 Moments You Never Noticed in Ghostbusters · Disney Afternoon · Foodfight · Swan Princess · The Lorax · Old vs. New: Spider-Man · Blues Brothers 2000 · Jurassic Park 3 · After Earth · Bloodrayne · The Purge · Top 11 Trailers · Small Soldiers · The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement · Ghost Rider 2 · Top 11 Worst Avatar Episodes · Top 11 Best Avatars (with Dante Basco) · Maximum Overdrive · Top 11 New Halloween Classics · Monster Squad · Rise of the Commercials · Forest Warrior · Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer (NC) · Christmas Story 2 · Care Bears Nutcracker
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2015:
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The Matrix · The Animatrix · The Matrix Reloaded · The Matrix Revolutions · AVGN Movie · Mamma Mia! · The Haunted Mansion · Daredevil · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) · Demolition Man · Top 11 Animaniacs Episodes · Legend of Zorro · The Ewoks Cartoon - Was That Real? · Fantastic Four · Cowboys of Moo Mesa - Was That Real? · Sharkboy and Lavagirl · Small Wonder - Was That Real? · Jupiter Ascending · Jurassic World · Top 11 TV Show Intros · Planet of the Apes · Osmosis Jones · Garfield: The Movie · Pixels · The Smurfs · Hammerman - Was That Real? · Mad Max: Fury Road · Event Horizon · Children of the Corn · Hocus Pocus · Conquest of the Commercials · Dragon's Lair · We Wish You a Turtle Christmas · Christmas with the Kranks · Star Wars: The Force Awakens (NC)
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2016:
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The Happening · Top 11 Funniest Shyamalan Moments · Lady in the Water · Labyrinth · Spawn · Cats and Dogs · The Phantom of the Opera · The Adventures of Pluto Nash · Pinky, Elmyra and the Brain - Was That Real? · Batman v Superman · Blade · Old vs. New: Cinderella · Spy Kids 3D: Game Over · Jem and the Holograms (2015) · The Grinch vs. The Cat in the Hat - Was That Real? · Scooby-Doo 2 · Alvin and the Chipmunks · Ghostbusters (2016) · Teddy Ruxpin Live Action Series - Was That Real? · Wild Wild West · The 3rd Animated Titanic Movie (Tentacolino) · The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle · Stephen King's Dreamcatcher · Freddy vs. Jason · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows · Battle of the Commercials · Inspector Gadget Saves Christmas · Top 12 Christmas Commercials · I'll Be Home For Christmas · Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
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2017:
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Top 11 Best Movie Sequels · Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel · Top 11 Worst Movie Sequels · The Smurfs 2 · Garfield 2: A Tail of Two Kitties · Cool World · Old vs. New: Evil Dead · Top 11 WTF Alternate Endings · Balto · Fant4stic · Clockstoppers · The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas · Suicide Squad Trailer · Suicide Squad · Alien vs. Predator · Transformers: The Last Knight NON-Review · Wonder Woman · Norm of the North · Cats Don't Dance · Hulk (2003) · Tom and Jerry: Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory · Monkeybone · G.I. Joe: The Movie · The Sorcerer's Apprentice · DuckTales (2017) · Eragon · Kangaroo Jack · A Goofy Movie · Green Lantern · Scary Godmother · It (2017) · Halloween (2007) · The Mummy · The Mummy (2017) · Dragonball Evolution · Bangarang · War of the Commercials · Super Mario Bros.: The Anime · Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa · A Muppet Family Christmas · Home Alone 2: Lost in New York · Star Wars: The Last Jedi
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2018:
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Mars Attacks! · Lara Croft: Tomb Raider · Top 11 Good Adam Sandler Movies · Yogi Bear · Horton Hears a Who · Batman Forever · Freakazoid · Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked · Maleficent · Alice Through the Looking Glass · The Jungle Book (2016) · Beauty and the Beast (2017) · Woody Woodpecker · Jack and Jill · An American Tail: Fievel Goes West · Starship Troopers · The Emoji Movie · Scooby-Doo: The Mystery Begins · The Boss Baby · The Spirit · Deadpool 2 · Chicken Little · The Angry Birds Movie · Do the Bartman · Fox Kids · The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen · Bartok the Magnificent · Mission: Impossible 2 · Sonic the Hedgehog: The Movie · Doom · Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles · Ghostbusters 2 · Old vs. New: Teen Titans vs. Teen Titans Go · Freddy Got Fingered · Big Fat Liar · Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer · Grading Cartoon Show Intros · Sleepwalkers · Top 11 Stephen King Movies · Van Helsing · Rubber · The Powerpuff Girls Movie · Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom · A Wrinkle in Time · Escape from the Commercials · A Christmas Story Live · The Search for Santa Paws · The Most HATED Nutcracker Movie Ever Made · Elf Bowling: The Movie
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2019:
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Max Payne · Robocop (2014) · The Black Cauldron (NC) · Top 11 Funniest Siskel and Ebert Reviews · The Country Bears · Donnie Darko · X-Men: The Animated Series · X-Men · X2: X-Men United · X-Men: The Last Stand · X-Men Origins: Wolverine · Best F(r)iends · Tom and Jerry and the Wizard of Oz · Hop · Stuart Little · Toonami · Balto II: Wolf Quest · Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within · Man on the Moon · Mary Poppins Returns · Movie 43 · Alien 3 · Barney's Great Adventure · Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief · Constantine · Kim Possible · The Lion King · Blade II · That Darn Cat · The Jetsons Meet the Flintstones · Underworld · Mulan II · Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip · The Pest · The Wall · Aladdin (2019) · Hannibal · It: Chapter Two · Demon Knight · Venom · Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island · Justice League · Frozen · Planet of the Commercials · The Grinch (2018) · The Most INSANE Christmas Rom Com · The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause · Die Hard
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2020:
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Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker · Beverly Hills Chihuahua · Con Air · Duckman · Supergirl · Spider-Man · Spider-Man 2 · Spider-Man 3 · The Amazing Spider-Man · The Amazing Spider-Man 2 · Trolls · Dolittle · Frozen II · Independence Day: Resurgence · Critters · Alpha and Omega · Avatar (2009) · Stuart Little 2 · Superman Returns · Totally Spies!: The Movie · Elektra · Alita: Battle Angel · Mouse Hunt · Battleship · The Hunchback of Notre Dame · The Lion King (2019) · The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland · The Animated Lord of the Rings · The Iron Giant · The Bill & Ted Movies · Mulan · Playing with Fire · Problem Child · Pokémon Detective Pikachu · X-Men: Apocalypse · The Lost Boys · The Stand · The Witches · Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark · Tusk · Curse of the Commercials · The Lion King II: Simba's Pride (NC) · Sucker Punch · Krampus · The Muppet Christmas Carol · Deck the Halls · Batman Returns · Home Alone 4
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2021:
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Shark Tale · The FREAKIEST Raggedy Ann Movie · The Mummy Returns · Batman vs. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles · 9 · Strange Magic · The Terminator · Terminator 2: Judgment Day · Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines · Terminator Salvation · Terminator Genisys · Terminator: Dark Fate · Wonder Woman 1984 · Freaked · The Prince of Egypt · Blade: Trinity · Mulan (2020) · Tom and Jerry (2021) · Scooby-Doo: Curse of the Lake Monster · Who Framed Roger Rabbit · The Banana Splits Movie · Ready Player One · Men in Black II · An American Tail · Monty Python's The Meaning of Life · Cats · Jetsons: The Movie · Atlantis: The Lost Empire · Mystery Men · X-Men: Dark Phoenix · Cinderella III: A Twist in Time · The Mask · The Nightmare Before Christmas · The Ring · Scooby-Doo and the Witch's Ghost · The Lawnmower Man · Leap! · Space Jam: A New Legacy · A Series of Unfortunate Events · Commercials Resurrection · Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas · The Polar Express · Home Alone 5: The Holiday Heist · Grumpy Cat's Worst Christmas Ever · Reindeer Games
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2022:
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Old · Birds of Prey · Rango · Daphne & Velma · Pan · Tarzan · National Treasure · Return to Oz · Batman Begins · The Dark Knight · The Dark Knight Rises · Batman · Batman: Mask of the Phantasm · Hancock · Bobbleheads: The Movie · Lilo & Stitch · Pinocchio: A True Story · The Rugrats Movie · Spider-Man: No Way Home · The Brave Little Toaster · Tombstone · Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole · The Fifth Element · Garfield and Friends · The Batman · The Addams Family Movies · The Secret of NIMH · Austin Powers Movies · Morbius · The Shrek Movies · Brave · Willy's Wonderland · Diary of a Wimpy Kid · The Kung Fu Panda Movies · The Matrix Resurrections · Beetlejuice · Jurassic World Dominion · Back to the Future Movies · The Princess and the Frog · Hotel Transylvania Movies · The Frighteners · The Munsters · The Mist · Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius · Anastasia · Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs · Commercials H20 · Hoodwinked · Elf · Disney's A Christmas Carol · A Garfield Christmas · Home Sweet Home Alone
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2023:
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The Ant Bully · The Sword in the Stone · Charlie's Angels · The Twilight Saga · Click · Zathura: A Space Adventure · Iron Man · Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl · Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest · Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End · Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides · Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales · Despicable Me and Minions Movies · Puss in Boots: The Last Wish · Top 11 Disney Remakes That Could Work · The Simpsons Movie · Beethoven · M3GAN · Cartoon Network Bumpers · The Little Mermaid · Dudley Do-Right · Kids' WB · White Chicks · Baby's Day Out · South Park Movie · The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie · The Great Mouse Detective · The Super Mario Bros. Movie · Bean · The Truman Show · Beavis and Butt-Head Do America · Top 11 Tom and Jerry Episodes · The Three Stooges Movie · The Road to El Dorado · The Pee-Wee Movies · Robin Hood · Liar Liar · The Flash · Monster House · Coraline · Trick 'r Treat · Thinner · Peter Pan · The Little Mermaid (2023) · Mrs. Doubtfire · Kingdom of the Commercials · Home Alone · Edward Scissorhands · Tom and Jerry: A Nutcracker Tale · Wakko's Wish · A Christmas Story
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2024
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On Deadly Ground · Fat Albert · Aladdin · Top 11 Funniest Disney Villains · Kung Pow! Enter the Fist · Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse · Jumanji · Superman · Superman II · Superman III · The Snyder Cut · Top 11 Poorly Aged Bill Cosby Commercials · Galaxy Quest · Wish · The Land Before Time
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DVD Exclusives:
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Turkish Rambo · Video Game Review 2: Blues Brothers (SNES) · Reefer Madness · Doomsday Machine · NC - Kickassia · NC - Suburban Knights · NC - To Boldly Flee · NC - Live Review of Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2 · Paranoia · Cup of Idiocy (Doug's Old Home Movies) · Night of the Living Dead · The Cinema Snob Movie · The Review Must Go On Review
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Theme months
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NostalgiaWeen · Christmas · Annual Theme Month
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