The Haunted Mansion

(We do the usual opening for the show before cutting to the Nostalgia Critic at his table)

NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. Well if you've ever been to the Magic Kingdom, chances are one of your favorite rides is the Haunted Mansion.

(Pictures of the ride are shown)

NC (vo): How could it not be? With its endless creativity, gothic atmosphere, and so many clever visuals that no one can see it in one viewing, the Haunted Mansion has become one of the theme park's most praised attractions. (Picture of Captain Jack Sparrow) So when Disney had a surprise monster hit with their Pirates of the Caribbean movie, they figured maybe bringing in the same amount of cinematic effort to one of the most famous rides of all time might be called for here as well. Best way to begin? Well, let's have (picture of) Eddie Murphy star in it.

(NC stamps the screen and makes the word RUINED appear on screen)

NC: Ruined!

(We now get clips of the movie as he starts his opening summary)

NC (vo): How can one of Disney's most playfully dark and gothic ideas be given to such an obviously long actor? Not that Eddie Murphy can't do good work, he just...does it so rarely. (Posters of Daddy Day Care and Meet Dave are shown) This is like putting Will Ferrell in Batman (picture of Will Ferrell photoshopped onto Batman), or Sarah Silverman in Sophie's Choice (Poster of her put in place of Meryl Streep is shown), or Pierce Brosnan in a music--(Poster of Mamma Mia!) Oh yeah, we're still paying for that. (Picture of Pierce surrounded by several people, all with word balloons saying "Jesus!") But some actors don't obviously go with some movies. And the sad thing is, they tried to tailor what could've been a really awesome idea with a dark sense of humor to a story as intriguing as the ones you find on the side of Happy Meal boxes.

NC: Hell, even (picture of) Happy Meal boxes are looking creepier than anything in this film! So, does anything capture the original creativity of the ride? Well, let's take a look with, *sigh* Eddie Murphy's Haunted Mansion.