Disney Afternoon



(We start off with the opening before dissolving into the Nostalgia Critic's living room)

(NC runs in, followed by Tamara and Malcolm)

NC (wearing a no fear shirt and carrying a Marvel? backpack): Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! (sits down and reaches into his backpack to pull out baseball trading cards) Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! It's my favorite time of the day!

Tamara: Critic, I don't think the girls in the 90s wore this many hair products. I look like...Punky Brewster's recycling bin.

Malcolm: And why are my pants this baggy?

Tamara: Also, why are all the logos on the back?

(She and Malcolm take off their jackets to reveal shirt with the logos "MAGICAL MOTHER FUCKER" and "YOU'RE KILLING ME SMALL")

NC: It's all part of the experience. Now sit down before it starts!

Malcolm: Before what starts? You're just pressing play on the DVD player.

NC: You don't understand! This is the Disney Afternoon! There's a certain ritual to this: We act like we just got back from school, throw our belongings on the ground for our mothers to pick up, surround ourselves in high-fluctose corn syrup, and reward ourselves for dealing with the mental scars of the tremendously flawed education system.

Tamara: Wait! A-Aren't you talking about Disney's One Saturday Morning on ABC?

NC: Fuck Disney's One Saturday Morning on ABC! That was just a carbon-copy cartoon-cots(?) comparison compared to the Disney Afternoon!

(Well that's HIS opinion because One Saturday Morning also had a spin-off block known as Disney's One Too which was similar to The Disney Afternoon, but that's another story.)

Malcolm: Hey! Pepper Ann was good.

NC: Okay, maybe one.

Tamara: And Recess was decent.

NC: Yeah, if you wanna get technical...

Malcolm: And Kim Possible.

NC: Well, Kim Possible, obviously.

Tamara: And Proud Family.

NC: Who dissin' The Proud Family? Nobody's dissin' The Proud Family while I'm around!

Malcolm: And there was also that other show, um...Doug. Yeah, that was a pretty good cartoon series. You can't deny that must've had some sort of impact on you life--

NC (after punching Malcolm): What you're both missing is that the Disney Afternoon had a timeless sense of magic and wonder that was the perfect welcome-home from a long day of schoolhouse popularity or awkward social punishment. So, if there's no other comparisons to "lesser forms of art"... (turning to look at Malcolm who is covering his chin with his hand).

Malcolm: (whimpering) I can't feel my teeth...

NC: We'll go ahead and get started!