Inception

Announcer:

And now it's time for "Bum Reviews" with Chester A. Bum. Tonight's review: "Inception"

Chester:

OH MY GOD, this is the greatest movie I've ever seen in my life!

(Snoozes in his sleep) Spoilers! (Snoozes again) Spoilers!

There's this movie called Inception.

And it stars Jack from Titanic!

Tommy from Third Rock!

Juno!

And all the side characters from Batman Begins.

So there's these people who want to find all the information about these other people.

And they do it by going through their dreams!

I had someone go through my dreams once!

Except he was an evil man with claws and a fedora hat.

I think his name was Dick Cheney.

And there's one Asian guy who wants the dream-hoppers to go through this other person's dream!

And the Asian guy is like: (P.S.: I don't understand what he says. Feel free to fill this blank spot.)

He's kind of hard to understand.

Kind of like that guy from The Room!

And where the review of that go anyway?

But DiCaprio is like: "I don't want to work for you. You have nothing to offer me."

And the Asian guy is like: "I can it so that you don't hide from what you've done. You can see your kids again."

"Really!? How can you do that?"

"I am a Powerful Fictional Business Guy. I can make anything happen. I'm like Donald Trump except my hair isn't alive."

"Cool!"

But then they need an architect to build the dream.

So DiCaprio's father recommends JUNO!

And she's like: "I'm just a college girl and you want me to do something really illegal and really dangerous that could ruin my life forever?"

"Yes."

"Cool!"

So they have to go into this person's mind and plant an idea that he's gonna think was his.

And they have to create three levels of dreaming.

Confused yet?

Well... Don't be.

And if you go past the third level of dreaming, you end up in Limbo.

I love Limbo!

(Pretending to play Limbo) How existential can you go? How existential can you go?

But then there's this Evil Woman who's out to stop them.

And it turns out it's DiCaprio's wife.

And I'm like...

Chester 1:

AH! I know the twist of this movie is gonna be! It's gonna be that she's dead the whole time!

Chester 2:

Yeah! they... did that in the first 20 minutes.

Chester 1:

Oh! Well I bet the twist is that it's gonna be a dream within a dream!

Chester 2:

They did that in the first five minutes of the movie.

Chester 1:

Really!?

Chester 2:

Yeah! In fact, it's actually a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream.

Chester 1:

Oh wow! Well umm... I-I bet the twist is that Tommy is an alien! (Pause, Chester 2 looks confused) WHAT IS THE TWIST THEN?

Chester 2:

The twist is that there may or may not be a twist at the end.

Chester 1:

WHAT!?

That's... FURIOUSLY AWESOME!

I'M SO ANGRY and yet that's so perfect!

This movie rocks!

So there's all these reeeaaalllyyy cool action sequences where there flying all over the place.

It's like The Matrix except unpretentiously smart!

And all the characters are flying around doing cool things.

And DiCaprio is like: "You are Departed." (punches someone)

Ellen Page is like: "Juno chops!" (punches someone)

And the Asian guy is like: "WAAAAA!" (prepares to attack, but is shot by someone else and falls to the ground)

So in the end, they plant the idea in the guy's head.

DiCaprio gets everybody out alive.

He finally gets to go home to see his children.

And they all live happilly ever after.

OR DO THEY!?

Actually we don't know.

Cause we don't know if it's a dream or not!

This movie raises so many boggling questions.

Like how do I know I'm not dreaming right now?

(Chester suddenly wakes up from a dream) AAH! ...Well, how do I know I'm not dreaming right now?

(Chester suddenly wakes up from another dream) AAH! (hesitantly) How...

(Chester suddenly wakes up from yet another dream) AAAAH! (frightened) OK, I'm going to take some drugs to sober up from this movie.

Cool!

This is Chester A. Bum saying CHANGE?! Ya got change?! Aw c'mon, help a guy out, will ya?! C'mon, change!

C'mon! Just imagine it's a dream! You will need money in a dream! Unless (Chester suddenly wakes up from yet another dream) AHHH!