300th Episode: Part 2

Linkara [v/o]: "Get out. I mean... no way."

"We don't use alcohol where I come from."

"Where's that, the Dark Ages?"

Linkara: PEOPLE WHO DON'T DRINK ALCOHOL? THAT'S UNPOSSIBLE!! [then he gives a "Huh?" gesture]

Linkara [v/o]: "Maybe the future. We'll see."

[Cut to intro to "Plan 9 from Outer Space": Criswell narrates]

Criswell: Future events such as these will affect you in the future.

Linkara [v/o]: Amina says it's getting cold outside, no surprise considering how much friggin' rain there is, and they decide to go back inside. Finally seeing Jaye's face, we can tell she's clearly into Amina, who says:

"Come along. You're my date now, aren't you?"

And they hold hands and reenter wherever the hell they were at, as signified by the sixteen small panels showing different people's faces. There are, well, fourteen featured faces, two show close-ups of scantily female bodies because sex sex-sex-sex-sex sex-sex, sex sex sex.

Linkara: What I'm trying to say, in case my very low-key comments weren't an indication, is that Frank Miller draws with one hand. [makes a masturbation gesture as he says that remark] Actually, that would explain why his art has continued to degenerate over the years.

Linkara [v/o]: And then Jaye notices something under Amina's coat. Amina leans in for a kiss a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-and suicide bombing by Amina.

Linkara: Thank you, Frank, for this very important message: "Foreign exchange students are secretly enemy agents; treat them with suspicion and hate." [grins for a bit and then takes off his glasses; sigh] You know, it's days like today that really make me regret my decision to not use the more colorful four-letter words, just so I can scream WHAT A PIECE OF SHHHHHHH--- [Puts his glasses back on] Surely fine work this comic is.

Linkara [v/o]: And back to now. What's funny is that even if it would have been afterschool special material, if this was the kind of book that was supposed be, that scene, with a bit of rewriting, would have been perfect for demonstrating how Al-Qaeda is only a small percentage of Muslims; that the other 1.6 BILLION Muslims out there are just as much victims of terrorism as any other innocent. But no, instead of having her be the victim, Amina, who I just recently discovered was the name of the prophet Mohammed's mother, CUTE, is the perpetrator of mass murder. What was even the point of that scene if it wasn't just to show that all Muslims are evil? I mean, narratively, it served no point. The story of The Fixer and Natalie Stack is not improved by knowing about the suicide bomber or her sudden decision to drink alcohol. And this is also despite her religion being against it, which further confuses things. What's the point of having her do that? To show that Muslims are hypocrites? Dear lord, this book is dumb.

Oh, and speaking of dumb, we once again have the narration captions start with:

"Natalie Stack" "Cat burglar" "Reeling."

And then the captions in Natalie's first person perspective with nothing to distinguish them. Hell, it's even worse in this case when they're stacked on top of each other. It really seems like Natalie talks about herself in the third-person.

"The Fixer holds me up. He's got a tremble running through him, too. But his is angry. Like he wants to start killing people."

"I've got a goddamn nail stuck in my goddamn leg."

Linkara: Ah, now I know why this book is designed like it is. So we can conveniently hit ourselves with it because of the tedious and repetitive dialogue. [irately uses the book to hit himself in the face.]

Linkara [v/o]: "Me and The Fixer, we don't know what we cough up or who."

Linkara: [confused] [beat] Ar... Are you two cannibals?

Linkara [v/o]: "It's thick." "It's like breathing poisoned chalk."

These scenes are meant to imply that they're being consumed by the smoke and ash from the explosions. And honestly, I couldn't tell at first. That line is a pretty good one, understandable given the easy comparison to the dust clouds created by the World Trade Center towers' collapse. But, like I said, I couldn't tell at first because it doesn't look all that different from when it was just the rain. It looks like Frank was pressing napkins or paper towels into the place to create the smoke effects and it would've looked very effective if not for all the damn rain from earlier that looked so similar. He just replaced one bloated image of art gone mad with another.

"Fixer sucks in a load of something ghastly. He pukes it back out."

Linkara: What? I thought you said earlier you wanted him to make you sick.

Linkara [v/o]: It goes quiet for a brief second and another explosion soon follows, except this time instead of nails it's razor blades. Again, great distance on these things, especially now since we've got co-ordinated explosions all over the damn place from what I presume are small explosives hidden under jackets. For some reason, it completely baffles me that Natalie Stack takes off one of her boots and yells, "DAMN," in huge letters. Hell, she did it one-handed. That's a pretty loose-fitting boot, then. Why would she do that in the middle of a razor blade storm? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? Ugh, wait. Could it be The Fixer took it off?

[Cut to clip from "The A Team" episode: Children of Jamestown.]

Hannibal Smith: He stole my boots. Nobody steals my boots.

Linkara [v/o]: And then, Natalie Stack is falling and yelling bootless for dear life and then, suddenly, a rope pulls her back up and she's being carried by The Fixer and, her boot is back on again? What?

[Cut to clip from MST3K episode: "The She-Creature"]

Mike Nelson: Space is warped and time is bendable.

Linkara [v/o]: "Who is this man, this Fixer?"

Linkara: [imitating Stack] This cutter of animal balls.

Linkara [v/o]: "Why does he do it, risking his life, hunting down criminals, saving people?" "There can't be any money in it."

Linkara: Believe it or not, it's actually a pyramid scheme. He rescues one person, they dress up in superhero garb and rescue two more, et cetera, et cetera.

Linkara [v/o]: And then a full page of people's heads, about fifty of them in total, all drawn in Miller's scratchy, slightly cartoonish style. They fade to white on the one page and then on the next it's all completely white for another seventy-eight small panels. I'll give him credit, while Miller's art style grates on me these days, this is an effective two pages and uh-- wait. There's a third page, now with two-hundred-eight small panels. And now, this is overkill. The point was more effective with just the two pages worth. I could only imagine how silly this would actually have been if this really was in regular comic formatting, six pages of it, four of which consisted of nothing but blank white rectangles. At that point, it just becomes parody.

Linkara: I would not have been surprised if the next page would have had five-hundred tiny squares and the editor would have finally had to step in and tell Frank, "Enough! We get the point!" But Frank would scream, "NO! MY POINT IS NOT CLEAR ENOUGH! MORE TINY RECTANGLES!! MO-O-O-O-O-O-ORE!!!!"

Linkara [v/o]: Oh, by the way, I've been trying to give the benefit of the doubt to this, but I just did a count. If we only include pages after the made-up Mohammed quote, the book is only actually 109 pages. If we include the all-white panel pages, fifty-six pages of those 109 pages are splash pages. Literally more than half of this book is made up of splash pages. Even when Frank is working on a passion project of his, he's extraordinarily lazy. And while visually, and from a narrative perspective, plenty of them are fine as splash pages, it's also rendered this book holy without story. We've actually reached the half-way point of the comic. Yeah, we're at the half-way point and we are still only on the first plot point, the terrorist attack.

Linkara: This episode is quickly becoming as long as the 200th episode and yet even less happened than in One More Day. HOW DO YOU DO THAT?

Linkara [v/o]: Also, a page of what I presume is supposed to be random destruction and debris, but with a red heel and... I had no idea what this green thing was at first, but it was pointed out to me that it is in fact a car. Looks kind of like the one from Action Comics Number 1, to be honest. What the hell is the perspective, here? There's another car that I can make out more clearly in the black and white, but then HUGE-ASS RED SHOE. Or is this just Frank Miller saying that he was a huge fan of the Red Shoe Diaries, back in the day? Upon seeing this wanton destruction and graphic black, white, and red shoe and green car, Not-Batman and Not-Catwoman give their reactions.

"No." "Not on my watch."

"Not on my turf."

Linkara: Not on my horribly-drawn and horribly-inked pages. Seriously, is it just me or do they have the exact same face, here?

Linkara [v/o]: We cut to a police station, at least what I presume is a police station, where there's general pandemonium, or at least what passes for it. We have cops getting reports about what's going on, but the weird thing is they seem to be receiving them on their walkie-talkies. I suppose it would kind of make sense that they'd switch to more primitive tech, since it's likely cellphone traffic would create too much pandemonium. Except, that the things that they're talking about look like the things you'd talk about on cellphones, yet they're not being held in a cellphone-like way.

"Oh, baby, no-- Not Carla..." "Not Carla."

Like, did this policewoman give a walkie-talkie to a friend or her husband or something? It's clearly someone she knows who's informing her. I guess it could be another cop, but still. And the other guy in a walkie-talkie,,,

"Yes, Ma'am. I'll tell him just as soon as he takes a breath."

Who the hell is he talking to? Hey, wait a second. I just realized something. A policewoman. We have a policewoman on the force. And she's not being sexualized, not talking about sex, not having sex, and not being a victim. I mean, yeah, she's talking about someone she cares about who's apparently dead, but that's just human. Is this... Is this the first time that's happened in a Frank Miller book I've reviewed?

Linkara: Sweet merciful crap, Christmas has come early! Frank Miller has a female character WHO'S AN ACTUAL HUMAN BEING!!

[We hear sounds of cheering and applause. The video cuts to footage from UHF, while interlaced with Linkara blowing kisses, blowing his party noise maker, and celebrating. The celebration is interrupted by Linkara's phone, with the ringtone from "Hide and Seek" by Imogen Heap. Linkara answers. The person he talks to is his future self (played by his real father) talking through a futuristic communication device accompanied by Pollo.]

Linkara: Hello?

Future Linkara: Uh, Linkara. Hey Linkara. Linkara, it's me. I mean, you. I mean, you from the future.

Linkara: [confused] 'kay.

Future Linkara: Hey, I just wanted to remind you. You know, she's not really a character. She's just a background element. She doesn't even have a name. So, it really doesn't matter.

Linkara: You've pierced the bounds of space and time to tell me that?

Future Linkara: Um, people are going to bring that up in the comment section and it kind of turns you, um, hostile and bitter and kind of a jerk.

Linkara: That sounds highly implausible.

Future Linkara: Yeah, implausible. heh-heh yeah, implausible. But it's as implausible as shipping, uh, Revolution of the Mask or History of Power Rangers in any kind of timely fashion.

Linkara: Man, I am a jerk in the future.

Future Linkara: All right, Bye. See ya.

Linkara [v/o]: So, anyway, back to the comic, and we meet Not-Jim Gordon, who looks exactly like Jim Gordon. Frank didn't even try to make him look different. In this, he's Dan Donegal. Also, check out the way he's walking. What the hell is it with horrible comics and bizarre walking? Remember how the girl with red hair in One More Day walked? Yeah, it's happening again, only somehow an even stupider walk!

[Cut to Linkara mimicking the same walk done in the comic. I couldn't stop laughing while editing this.]

Linkara [v/o]: "Tell Liebowitz I want his flabby ass commanding the East End-- and tell him to keep the local slime from partying all over Empire City!"

Linkara: Now I imagine Empire City is actually some kind of fantasy RPG setting with slime creatures that you have to battle for easy XP early in the game.

Linkara [v/o]: Oh, check it out. I'm not kidding about the spilled white-out idea. You can get away with your sloppy paint job to imitate rain and explosions, but what the hell are all these white dots everywhere supposed to represent? And Donegal's cigarette is exiting his mouth horizontally as it drops out. Where in the hell does Frank live that he thinks objects fall sideways? Did he draw this book while he was glued to the side of a wall? And then on this page, i...

[We see a page featuring a drawing of a Al-Qaeda terrorist. The head scarf is almost entirely wrapped around its face, except for its eyes. Not to mention, the fabric made for the scarf has a bizarre checkerboard-like textile. Cut to Linkara looking confused, cut back to the page, cut back to Linkara, cut back to the page, cut back to Linkara]

Linkara: The hell are you looking at?

Linkara [v/o]: Well, I shouldn't expect an answer because now it's time for quiet panels of nothing. Well, I say nothing to distinguish from the nothing we had earlier. We have a series of images. I see somebody in a shroud, or possibly just a bad silhouette, holding a rocket launcher, some guys protesting somewhere, then, George W. Bush? And then Michael Moore. There is no dialogue here, people. There is no text. I have no idea what the hell this is supposed to indicate. There are three pages of this, just random shots of people's heads, some terrorists, smoke stacks, then a suicide bomber, some nails and razor blades, a Muslim woman, at least I presume it to be a woman, holding up the peace sign, doors with the Star of David opening up on what I presume to be another cloud of smoke or explosion. Is this like one of those Make-Your-Own Stories for kids kind of things, where we're supposed to write in our own dialogue and make up our own scene? Also, I'm sure that the nails and razor blades are just supposed to be symbolic, but frankly, with how many times he keeps repeating the image, I'm getting the impression that they're still flying through the air after this long. Why not? Everything else seems to defy gravity in this comic. And on the next page... uh, wait. Is that the head of Woody Allen? Er, anyway, The Fixer and Natalie Stack swing through the negative zone, or whatever all this white space is. Probably some kind of other-dimensional realm or something. Like with everything falling, the leaking blood from their injuries, at least, again, I presume it's blood, they could actually be disintegrating, is falling sideways. Also, Subway sandwich thighs on Natalie Stack. Goodie!

"The Fixer." "Out for blood:"

Linkara: [imitating narrator] The Fixer: Out for Lunch.

Linkara [v/o]: I think the idea of these caption panels saying their names and what they're doing is supposed to indicate who's talking now, but it just such a stupid way of doing this. Why not just have colored captions?

"They know where to hit us. They know exactly where to hit us."

[Cut to clip from "Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan"]

Spock: They knew exactly where to hit us.

Linkara [v/o]: "All my life, there's been something wrong. Something missing. A sense that everything I'm seeing all around me isn't entirely true."

Linkara: [imitating The Fixer] It's almost like the entire premise for my existence as a fictional character is based on inaccuracies and bigoted nonsense. But that can't be it.

Linkara [v/o]: "That this seemingly ordered world of laws and logic and reason is nothing but a shroud. A camera" [Caption appears: "'Chimera', not camera"] "A mask."

Linkara: When the hell has our world ever been an "ordered" one of "laws and logic"? We live in a world where, on some days, we can't tell if it's a parody news article from The Onion OR A REAL THING HAPPENING!!

Future Linkara: We'll be back in a few short messages. And after all, I should know. I'm from the future.

[Commercial]

Future Linkara: We're back. See, I told you.

Linkara [v/o]: "I've got a captain on the force."

"You're sh***ing me."

Linkara: Well, in this story, you would know feces.

Linkara [v/o]: When The Fixer says that it's Captain Donegal, Natalie repeats the "crapping her" remark and does the splits in midair.

"Every once in a long while, the mask falls off." "Every once in a long while, the whole world makes perfect sense." "The world reveals itself."

Linkara: [as The Fixer] A new Sailor Moon anime is coming. The world makes perefect sense again.

Linkara [v/o]: "With a wild laugh, she let's got of my--" OH, GOOD GOD, THIS ARTWORK!!! Natalie Stack has suddenly become a body builder with massive shoulders and biceps, boob socks, a cracked spine, and arms almost as thick as her thighs. You know what's really sad? There are so many talented artists out there, so many people who've done, say, fanart for this show or, or, just amateur webcomic artist, who do so much better work out there who honestly deserve a chance at comics. And then I see garbage like this getting printed and sold for thirty dollars and I just weep. Frank Miller still gets work. That's how you know this world doesn't make any sense.

"She flies." "I hope I'm not in love with her." "I've never fallen in love."

[Linkara does the "What is Love" lip-syncing and bobbing head joke again.]

Linkara [v/o]: "I never want to fall in love." "I must never fall in love." "Never."

Linkara: [as The Fixer] The girl cooties would just interfere in my mission of fixing things.

' Linkara [v/o]: [whiny childish voice]  "I must never fall in love." [normal] Dear god, Frank. When did you become a twelve-year-old kid writing crappy Batman fanfics? 

"We come to Earth."

Linkara: Conformation that these characters are, in fact, aliens.

Linkara [v/o]: And despite them "coming to Earth," they still swing and travel around some more on the next two pages. According to the following page, that was representative of them "searching for clues." Yeah, and it's only NOW that we get our next pot point. The Fixer calls Donegal on his two-way wrist radio, helpfully pointed out in this caption, lest we fear that he's just a crazy person talking to his watch, not an unfounded concern, I must say. Donegal reports that they have a lead. One of the terrorists tried to suicide bomb a saloon, but his explosives didn't go off.The crowd, recognizing the danger he posed, quickly attacked him and a nearby cop managed to get the guy out of there before the drunken patrons killed him.

Linkara: Actually, here's a thought. It's only NOW that they have any evidence that it was an Islamic terrorist. I mean, yes, we the readers knew it was them, but The Fixer didn't, Natalie Stack didn't, the cops didn't. All they knew was that there were multiple explosions. It could have been a Timothy McVeigh type or a militia group. You don't have to rule out foreign attack, but I'm just saying they IMMEDIATELY jumped on that bandwagon.

Linkara [v/o]: But Whatever, Donegal reports that he's in a medical helicopter and they'll question him as soon as his lungs work.

"No, you moron! Aren't you good for anything?"

Linkara: Can this marriage be saved?

Linkara [v/o]: "Land that chopper, now! Those creeps are organized-- They know where each other is"

Linkara: Wouldn't they assume that he was in several pieces?

Linkara [v/o]: "--and they've got stinger missiles."

Linkara: How the hell do you know that?

Linkara [v/o]: And why would they still be in the city beyond the suicide bombings. The 9/11 attacks weren't a prelude to a military invasion. This isn't friggin' Red Dawn here. They were designed to cripple the economy, the defense department, and potentially other areas in a single suicide attack using airplanes as bombs. But NO, it seems that the Jihadists knew exactly what chopper it was and where to set themselves up to shoot, since the stinger missile quickly hits and destroys the helicopter.

"Stinger missiles." "And no regard for human life." " None for the vacant medics struggling to save their comrade--" "--And none for their comrade himself."

Linkara: Well, to be fair, he was already on the dock for the suicide bombing, so I don't think they were all that concerned about his continued existence.

Linkara [v/o]: "No regard for human life," huh? Yeah. Not being concerned about the sanctity of life is monstrous, isn't it? So, how does The Fixer respond to this?

"Let's get us some killing done."

[Cut to a crowd of people and cos-players at a convention room groaning and facepalming.]

Linkara [v/o]: I mean... Is this a parody comic? Have I been wrong this whole time? There's no separation there. On one page, terrorists are evil because they have no regard for human life. On second page, The Fixer wants to kill people. Or terrorists aren't people, I don't know, screw this comic!

"The rain eases up. Now there's just floaty white stuff."

Linkara: ... Do you not know what smoke is?

Linkara [v/o]: "Maybe it's paper from the explosions. Maybe it's ash."

Linkara: Maybe it's a crappy artist who didn't draw any backgrounds.

Linkara [v/o]: So conveniently, The Fixer and Natalie Stack go right near the terrorists who fire the stinger missiles, so they leap down to attack.

"Triumph!"

"Praise Allah!"

"Oh, hell!"

Linkara: [as terrorists] Why are all we speaking in English?

Linkara [v/o]: And, in what is supposed to be deliberate irony, The Fixer begins shooting the terrorists repeatedly. The caption box proclaiming:

"We engage in post-modern diplomacy."

[Cut to Linkara forcefully laughing. The laughter starts pleasantly but after a few seconds, it grows more and more angry.]

Linkara [v/o]: Criminy, this artwork. Let's ignore the cartoon eyes on the guy down there, and focus really on Natalie Stack, who has apparently gained the power of Akira with her giant claw-like arm. Her bicep is wider than her head. Her spine is tilting back as she makes this bizarre sweeping motion that I presume is supposed to be pulling series of flesh out from a giant terrorist. But really, it just looks like a bunch of strings that are falling from this guy's outfit. And now, images of people who I presume to be the terrorists that the two are killing.

"We give them exactly what they want--" "--Minus the innocent victims."

Linkara: They wanted to be shot to death by a vigilante?

Linkara [v/o]: Oh, and look, the giant ridiculous knife from the cover actually is in the book. Natalie Stack picks it up and swings it at a terrorist, hitting with such force and accuracy that it decapitates one, a terrorist who apparently had wrapping around his entire head, except his eyes and mouth. These... these really are mummies, aren't they?

Linkara: My god, we, we've had it wrong the whole time. Frank Miller isn't racist or Islamophobic or bigoted. He's trying to inform us of the true evil, the darkest force that is trying to destroy modern-day America with its army of mummies, ANCIENT EGYPT!!!

[Cut to a photo of Giza Pyramids accompanied by John Williams's "Imperial March"]

Linkara [v/o]: Or not, as we see one, who of course has to explosives tied to himself, proudly proclaims, "JIHAD," and clicks his explosives. Unfortunately, for him they apparently have a three-second delay, which allows The Fixer to kick him off the roof and proclaim, "Gesundheit!"

[Cut to a clip from True Lies.]

Harry Tasker: You're fired.

Linkara [v/o]: A-a-a-and he explodes. Apparently, every one of the suicide bombers earlier have the really good bombs since this one only takes out the guy without any other damage, no nails or razor blades this time.

Linkara: Is it standard operating procedure for all members of Al Qaeda to wear explosives like this? Seems like it would be really embarrassing if somebody tripped.

Linkara [v/o]: The Fixer tells Natalie Stack that they need to keep one of them alive to talk.

"We'll have to torture him."

[Linkara glares at the camera in disbelief.]

Linkara [v/o]: "Torture. Okay. I'm down with that."

[Linkara glares at the camera in disbelief. Cut to a clip from Scrubs: episode "My Own Personal Hell."]

Doctor Cox: You know, as a doctor, I rarely root for the disease. But, with you, I find myself cheering, "Go, hypercalcemia with underlying M.E.N. syndrome, Go go, go.

Linkara [v/o]: And so, yes, they proceed to torture the final terrorist. They hang him by all of his limbs, stand on his back, and The Fixer prepares to slam his foot down on his spine to injure him further.

"So Mohammed, pardon me for guessing your name, but you've got to admit the odds are pretty good it's Mohammed-- What's the plan?"

[Cut to Linkara: He sighs, closes the comic, takes off his glasses, and rubs his eyes.]

Linkara: [Out of character] You know, I sometimes get asked why Camelot of all films is my favorite movie... And the reason is... because it actually changed my life, or at least ... focused my beliefs into something that was... you know, a good solid foundation for a personal philosophy... um, those who have power should use it... to do good. Uh, that violence is not strength, compassion's not weakness, that revenge is utterly pointless. Superheroes... are basically the equivalent of modern-day knight-errants. They go out and help people and fight injustices. But... a lot of the best superhero comics... are the ones... not actually about superheroes hitting supervillains, or hitting each other or anything like that. It's the ones that show that superheroes... are about kindness and decency and something far more noble than the... adolescent power fantasies that... people often... you know... critique them as.

[After a long pause, he takes a deep breath and holds up Holy Terror.]

I think... I hate this comic... more than ANY other I've reviewed.... Because... it is the complete antithesis... of everything I believe in.

Linkara [v/o]: Holy Terror says that you should be unkind. It says you shouldn't trust people. It says compassion will be repaid with violence and that violence can only be answered with more violence and that violence is strength. That hurting others is not only enjoyable and desirable, but it should be employed first when dealing with threats. It says that if you have power, you can lord that power over others and do harm to them. It says that revenge is a worthy cause. It treats women as either victims or enemies, and don't assume Natalie Stack is immune to this criticism. Trust me, the book ain't over yet. It tells us we should fear the other, the foreigner, the dark-skinned, the religion that's not your own. And you know what the damnest thing of all is? I am, honest to god, afraid of terrorism. Terrorism is real. There are people out there who want to kill me either because I'm from a different country or just because there's some angry misanthrope with a  gun. That applies to both foreign and domestic terrorists.

Linkara: Terrorism is about making someone so afraid that they'll do what you tell them to. And the grand message of Frank Miller's Holy Terror is: "Be afraid, be terrified, and let's give in to that fear, and embrace every dark, sick and inhuman part of our souls as a result and do EVERYTHING TO THEM THAT THEY WILL DO TO US!!" Frank.... you must be so proud.

Linkara [v/o]: So, behold, The Fixer, as he breaks a man's spine when he refuses to talk, crippling him for life, and then threatening to take out his eyes. Our hero, everyone.

Linkara: [Putting back on his glasses] But, I'm sure, you're all sick of me making a speech. So, instead, we'll talk about how THIS SCENE IS REALLY FRIGGIN' STUPID!!

Linkara [v/o]: We'll ignore the moral argument about torture in general, regardless of the fact that torture is an ineffective method of gaining information. Oh no, let's just stick to the idiotic dialogue. You're already aware of the horribly bigoted remark The Fixer said about the guy's name, but there's just so much more.

"You'd better listen to him, Moe. The Fixer is a gentle soul, but when he gets riled, well, he's been known to hurt people."

Linkara: Oh, yeah, he's as calm and gentle as a frickin' old lady baking cookies. I especially noticed that about him when he was shooting people in the head and kicking them off buildings.

Linkara [v/o]: "Al Qaeda's not going to stop a few scattered atrocities. That's not your style. You're leading up to something big."

[Cut to clip from Captain America (1979).]

Dr. Mills: But why? Brackett is no mad dog killer, he is after something.

Linkara: That's probably the dumbest misconception of Al Qaeda right there. THAT IS EXACTLY AL QAEDA'S STYLE!! THEY'RE NOT A FRIGGIN' STANDING ARMY WITH MILLIONS OF ORGANIZED SOLDIERS, THEY'RE A GUERILLA FORCE!!!

Linkara [v/o]: I mean this is conspiracy-theory-level stupidity. That people can't understand that small-scale operations can have large consequences and devastating affects. Except while, usually, conspiracy theorist surmise that terrorists weren't behind 9/11 because of that short-sightedness, Frank actually goes to the OTHER extreme, that it's just a sign of BIGGER attacks! So, yeah, the guy talks apparently vaguely informing them that something big is coming. And then they use a device that The Fixer has to remotely detonate his explosives.

"Yeesh, that's a lot of chunk of terrorist."

"At least we know they're the same species."

Linkara: I'd just like to remind you all that The Fixer is a gentle soul.... I fricking hat this comic.