Mamma Mia!

(We start off the episode with a new opening for the show involving clips from the previous year before cutting to the Nostalgia Critic at his desk)

NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't--

(He's interrupted by Rob Walker on camera while Malcolm Ray and Tamara Chambers stand next to him)

Rob: Oh Jesus, have you guys seen this? (He shows a binder to Malcolm and Tamara)

Tamara: Oh fuck that noise!

Malcolm: Yeah.

Rob: Let's get out of here.

NC: Hey wait a minute! Waitwaitwaitaminute! Where the hell are you guys going?

Rob: Mamma Mia?

NC: Yeah?

Rob: You're really going to review Mamma Mia?

NC: Yeah, so what?

Tamara: Nobody's gonna watch a review of Mamma Mia!

Malcolm: Yeah, the reviews that get the most hits are superheroes, fart jokes, or Nicolas Cage.

Tamara: Yeah, and that's all in the same video.

NC: This isn't just reviewing Mamma Mia. I'm tackling a subject matter that a lot of people don't usually address.

Rob: Yeah? And what's that?

NC: ...I'm talking about the art of the chick flick and--

(Rob, Malcolm and Tamara are not pleased by this, yelling at him)

Tamara: Are you kidding me?!

Rob: Are you fucking crazy?!

NC: Hey! Get back here! Get back here!

Rob: You're a fucking moron!

NC: I can buy and sell you like Appa's dignity!

(Rob, Tamara and Malcolm are leaving)

Malcolm: He should've done another Matrix Month.

Tamara: Yeah, some people got so mad they watched that three times.

Rob: Why do they do that?

Tamara: I don't know.

NC: *sigh* The truth of the matter is there is kind of an art to the chick flick.

(A poster for The Heat is shown)

NC (vo): No, I'm not talking about the ones that are on the spectrum like "Is (poster of) Hunger Games a chick flick?" "Is (poster of) Bridesmaids a chick flick?" (The Bridges of Madison County) I'm talking about the ones that are (Fried Green Tomatoes) ovaries to the wall, estrogen inducing, (Little Women) couldn't be mistaken for (Pride & Prejudice) anything else chick flick. (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix) The same way an action film like Harry Potter is gender neutral, but (poster of) Pacific Rim is obviously a dick flick. (The words DICK FLICK appear over the poster)

NC: Which is like a chick flick, only the exact opposite.

NC (vo): (Mean Girls) And that's also not to say men can't like chick flicks (Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade) or women can't like dick flicks. But let's not kid ourselves, it's not (Twilight) boys who made the Twilight films a hit and it's not (Transformers: Dark of the Moon) girls who made the Transformers films a hit. (A crowd of people at a movie theater are shown) Hollywood is always going to market to repetitive demographics. When they find a pattern that keeps repeating, they're going to exploit the fuck out of it.

NC: But here's the thing. There's a lot of chick flicks out there that are really good.

NC (vo): (A League of Their Own) I don't care if it mostly stars women, A League of Their Own is fucking hilarious. (The Princess Bride) I don't care if there's a lot of romance and kissing, Princess Bride still kicks fucking ass. (9 to 5) As the years go on, (Clueless) we see more and more effort (Ever After) being put into what was originally thought to (My Big Fat Greek Wedding) only be a niche market. (Titanic) Hell, the highest grossing film of all time for awhile was a chick flick. (Frozen) And you could argue the highest grossing animated film right now is a chick flick. (The Help) It's clear a lot more effort is being put into them (Blue Jasmine) and more and more audiences are opening up.

NC: But here's what really pisses me off, when people try to use it as an excuse, when they watch something they know is terrible they know for them is absolute shit, but they just shrug off, "It's okay, it's a chick flick." What the fuck does that matter?

(During that last sentence, a series of posters is shown from these movies: Confessions of a Shopaholic, Bridget Jones: Edge of Reason, 13 Going On 30, The Lizzie McGuire Movie, Sweet Home Alabama, New In Town, 27 Dresses, 17 Again, You Again, Killers, Hanging Up, Four Christmases)

NC (vo): (The Hot Chick) Calling a film a gross-out movie doesn't make Rob Schneider's work any better. (Super Mario Bros) Calling a film a video game movie doesn't make Super Mario Bros. any better. (How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days) So why does (Bride Wars) laziness and insulting writing (Sex and the City 2) get a pass here? (Runaway Bride)

NC: Well I don't think it should. Case in point, Mamma Mia!

(Clips of the movie play as he gives his opening statement)

NC (vo): This is one of those chick flicks that not only loves to use that excuse, but likes to fuck things up for other chick flicks that are actually trying to be smart and intelligent. Based on the Broadway show every married man over 40 was dragged to, Mamma Mia's a jukebox musical that, rather than have a variety of artists, giving the off-chance you might like one of them, instead chooses the one your mother listens to when she's drunk at her book club. (A picture of Abba is shown with a ta-da sound) And don't get me wrong, if you like Abba, no problem. They've had a lot of big hits and they're very talented, but this is not the movie to showcase any of their abilities. This is an example of trying to take a subgenre, in this case, the chick flick, and try to resort it down to a mathematical formula. Like if you use this combination of elements, you'll end up with a demographic who'll fall for it every time. The (Jerry Bruckheimer Films logo is shown) Bruckheimer films use it, (Happy Madison logo is shown) the Happy Madison films use it, and you can bet your ass this fucking film uses it.

NC: I know this because I literally found the checklist.

(A checklist is pasted over the movie)

NC (vo): Yes, this is from the actual set of the movie. The Lazy Chick Flick Check List to guarantee profitable box office.

NC: How many of them do they check off? Well let's demean women everywhere under the guise of empowering them. This is Mamma Mia!