Gary Coleman: For Safety's Sake

(Open on Brad wearing an "I'm a Pepper" shirt)

Brad: The '80s gave us (holds up a DVD labeled "Celebrity Instructions Vol. 1") a real who's who of celebrities giving us advice on life and safety and... shit.

(Cut to a clip of How Can I Tell If I'm Really In Love?)

Brad (vo): We had siblings telling us when to have sex.

(Cut to a clip of Be Somebody or Be Somebody's Fool)

Brad (vo): There was Mr. T telling us to be somebody. I know I sure did: I went out and picked a fight with the biggest Italian boxer I could find!

(Cut back to Brad holding up the "Celebrity Instructions" DVD, which has a shot of Corey Haim's Me, Myself and I)

Brad: Corey Haim even fell in love with Corey Haim in Me, Myself and I. The only way to keep Corey Feldman out of it was for Haim to mention only himself not once but three times in the title!

(Cut to the title of the topic of discussion: For Safety's Sake Starring Gary Coleman, followed by a clip of this video)

Brad (vo): And now we have Gary Coleman's For Safety's Sake, which I'm sure is only a 30-second video of someone telling you, for safety's sake, stay the hell away from Gary Coleman!

Brad: (somewhat perplexed) Is this a little tasteless, considering Gary is no longer with us?

Brad (vo): Whatever, it's still Gary Coleman hosting a children's safety video. People may die, time moves on, but this will still be hilarious.

Brad: And if you're offended, just pretend that I'm talking about Webster.