The Purge

''After the Nostalgia Critic intro, we see the Critic walking through the halls of his HQ on his phone. As he passes by the main foyer, we see Malcolm and Tamara, both carrying assult rifles and wearing giant mouse ears, walk past him and into his review room. The Critic stops, wondering if he actually saw that. He goes into the room and sees that Malcolm and Tamara are hunkering down behind an overturned table.''

NC: Usually, I'd have to take something to see shit like this. What the hell are you guys doing?

Tamara: Preparing for the new law they're about to pass.

NC: What law?

Malcolm: The law that will abolish crime!

NC: What law?

Tamara: That will spread chaos in its wake!

NC:  What law?

Malcolm:  It will ethically destroy what humanity stands for!

NC:  WHAT LAW?!?

Tamara: (inhales) The law that will split up Pinky and the Brain.

NC: (deadpans) ... That's not a law.

Tamara:  Could be.

NC:  No it can't.

Malcolm: It makes so much sense!

NC: It clearly doesn't.

Tamara: It seems like the road America is going down.

NC: It's amazing how much it's not.

Malcolm: And how would you know, Mr. Expert?

NC:  Because it has nothing to do with crime! Crime is about breaking the law for your own personal gain, and this amazingly has nothing to do with that!

Tamara: It doesn't matter. We've set up security perimiters all around the studio just in case it causes world wind panic.

''As she says this, she points to the security camera in the room. The Critic takes a brief look at the camera, which has "P+B Cam" and "Nimrod Detected" on its feed. ''

NC:  I suspect it would cause worldwide indifference.

Malcolm:  But haven't you seen "The Purge"?

NC: (irrate) PURGE?!? Fuck! That dumbass movie everybody fell for?

Tamara:  Hey! If that could happen, so could splitting up Pinky and the Brain!

Malcolm:  It's not fair. Just as they're legalizing gay marriage.

NC: The Purge couldn't happen. It never could happen. And that's why it's so baffeling that it's such a success!

''Cut to "The Purge" title card. We see breif clips of the movie as the Critic begins.''

NC (vo): With it's sequel having come out and having it be number one again at the box office... (Cut to a poster of "Dawn of the Planet of the Apes) ...well, almost number one.

Charlton Heston (vo): Damn dirty ape!

NC (vo): The Purge is one of those surprise hits that literally nobody can identify with. The idea's that the not to distant future has basically abolished crime because one night a year, they make crime legal. An interesting idea for a dark satire or maybe a clever comedy. But no! The film plays it up like this could really happen! And we shouldn't let it happen because because, apparantly, we're too stupid to realize its a bad idea! Just look at how rediculously serious it takes its advertising.

''The movie's trailer plays. An overtly triumphant, over-the-top version of "America the Beautiful" is heard as the movie's more violent scenes are shown.''

NC (vo): Yes. Nothing like a version of "Oh Beautiful" being sung to blood-gushing, innocent killing, homocidal psychotics slaughtering families. Now if a gay or ethnic person sang it, that'll be call for outrage! (A breif clip of the controversial Coca-Cola ad is shown)  Hell, maybe America's more fucked up than we realize if we're dumb enough not only to take thisshit seriously, but also give it a sequal! Let's see if this movie shows what the flying hell is wrong with us even if it does it in a way that wasn't intended.

Cut back to the Critic, now sitting in his usual spot, with Malcolm and Tamara behind him.

NC: So let's not waste any time... (He notices the two sets of fake mouse ears behind him.  The Critic grabs the two rifles.) Will you two get ouot of here?!? (Malcolm and Tamara slink away)  This is... (The Critic accidently fires one of the guns) ...The Purge.

A Duck Hunt'' duck falls from the sky. Tamara holds up the duck triumphantly, complete with the appropriate sound effects.''