I'll Be Home For Christmas

(NC 2016 title plays; cut to the NC sitting there listlessly, arms crossed, eyes rolled up; his cell phone rings)

NC: (answering phone) Hello?

(Cut to a high school student on the phone, played by Malcolm)

Man: What's up? I'm Teabag!

(The following exchange alternates between showing NC and Teabag)

NC: (facepalming himself) Just get it over with.

Teabag: What?

NC: Your character that somehow ties into the review and you're gonna make my life a living hell, so just get over with.

Teabag: What are you talking about? I'm just your everyday '90s student a-hole!

NC: I knew it, and you're on your way home for Christmas, aren't ya?

Teabag: How'd you know?

NC: Because you're the visual representation of why everybody wants to love assholes, like in today's movie!

Teabag: But everybody does love assholes! It's cool to be hated!

NC: Look, just say your catchphrases for the trailer and we can get on with our lives.