Escape From Tomorrow (Part 1)

(We cut to Jerk in front of the Universal Studios Hollywood entrance sign, the screen is in black and white.)

Jerk: To all who come to this reasonably content place, welcome. I'm Some Jerk With A Camera! (We cut to the entrance archway for the park with the "Some Jerk With A Camera" Logo in the style of Disney's logo. Cut back to Jerk, looking depressed.) Have you ever felt overshadowed? Eclipsed? Usurped, even? Have you ever spent years of your life, that you will never get back, toiling relentlessly on a massively ambitious project, very near and dear to your heart, only to see someone else with more money and resources than you will ever have, swoop in and abduct your spotlight with an idea just similar enough to yours that you loo like the idea thief who's just riding a coattail? Have you ever felt like that? Cause I have. MTV's (yells) "JERKS WITH CAMERAS!" AER YOU SHITTING ME?!?!

(We cut to clips from MTV's "Jerks With Cameras")

Jerk (v/o): (Sarcastically) Hey, I've got an idea: lets make the world's most retarded prank show for those who find "Jersey Shore" too high brow! Uh oh! One of the jerks pretended to take someone cell phone! BA HA HA! Stupid pedestrian thinks her property is being stolen! Uh oh! This jerk's holding up an elevator indefinitely! BA HA HA! Stupid people with jobs they're gonna be late for! (We see a prank of a jerk moving a baby carrage roughly, nearby people notice) Uh Oh! These people think a baby's being endangered! BA HA HA! Stupid life-forms with no basic cable show! God, I hate them all!

Tone Bell (Host of the show): The audience will actually decide "The Jerk Off!"

Jerk: They actually call it "The Jerk Off," because they can! MTV: "Artistic expression is dumb! Content is dumb! (Referring to the short cancelation of "Daria") We�'re horrible jerk offs and we're gonna live forever!" (Cut to some one on the show, badly twerking) MTV: "Uuuunnnngh!"

Jerk: (Groans at the thought of the show than perks back up) Anyway, someone shot a movie at the Disney parks!

(Cut to footage from "Escape from Tomorrow")

Jerk (v/o): This film has been on my radar ever since it premiered at Sundance 2013, where, despite being a tiny, low-budget, indie film made by a first-time director and a cast that had no famous people, it soon took the festival by storm and skyrocketed to international notoriety.

Jerk: Oh, um, for the benefit of my younger viewers, I should probably explain what Sundance is. Uh, remember the bad guy from "Captain America 2" (Robert Redford)? Well, every year, he compiles a YouTube playlist, projects it in dark rooms, up in the mountains, scams the upper 1% by charging them to watch it with them. Boy, are those old fogies gonna feel silly when their grandkids tell them about the internet! (laughs)