Sharknado

(We start off with the Nostalgiaween 2013 intro, then come to Nostalgia Critic walking by an office until a paper ball hits him. Inside is the room is Cinema Snob throwing another paper ball onto the floor)

NC: Cinema Snob, the hell are you doing here?

CS: Christ, I need your help with something.

NC: Me? You need my help? The great and cynical Cinema Snob actually needs my help?

CS: Not really, I'm just following the orders you have on your script. (holding up the episode's script)

NC: Okay okay, what do you need?

CS: It's this damn Sharknado movie.

NC: Sharknado?

CS: Yeah.

(Clips of the movie are shown)

CS (vo): Everybody's been talking about it since they announced its premiere on SyFy, especially with its sequel coming out. It's all over Twitter, Facebook, hell, there's even cosplays of it at conventions. (two people are shown dressed as Sharknados) It's like this underground phenomenon.

NC: Well, okay, what about it?

CS: Well there's obviously only one reason a piece of shit like this would become a big hit.

NC: The magical star power of John Heard?

CS: The name, and my thought is if I could come up with a name that combines just as much epic testosterone filled bullshit, then I can make a bundle, too. The only problem is I haven't found the right combo yet.

(NC pulls up a chair and sits down)

NC: Well, what have you got?

CS:  *sigh* Let's see, Tankasaurus, Chainsawquake, and Transformer Zombies.

NC: Hmm, that's not bad. But everybody's combining two things. If you really wanna push it to the next level, you do three. Like...(said picture is shown) Werewolf Lightning Ninjas.

CS: Hm. (Another picture shown) Cannibal Spider Nazis.

NC: (Another picture) Nuclear Amish Holocaust.

CS: (Another picture!) Cancer Beating Robo-Snakes.

NC: (Another picture) Gun Testicaled Vampirates.

CS: (One more picture) A Chocolate Cthulhu Christmas.

NC: Wait a minute. This can't be the only reason this movie is a hit. There has to be something outside of the name that actually draws people to it.

CS: I'd like to see you find it.

NC: Well, why don't we take a look? Why don't we see why the people of the internet are blown away by Sharknado? What do you say?

CS: (leans back in his chair) Godzilla Vampire Bots.

NC: This is Sharknado.

NC (vo): So, the movie doesn't waste any time giving us what we want, as we see tons of sharks are swimming away from the storm of the century.

CS (vo): Don't you feel safe knowing that the coast has millions of sharks in one location at any time?

NC (vo): Maybe they're on their way to buy Grand Theft Auto V.

(The waterspout starts picking up sharks in the water, forming the titular Sharknado)

CS (vo): We come across a boat of finners who are skinning the most realistic sharks you'll see in this movie as the captain of the boat gives his financier a bowl of fuck-you soup.

Financier: It's good. Not great.

(The captain frowns)

NC: I can't believe he doesn't love my grandma's good-but-not-great soup!

Palmer: My associates and I are willing to negotiate a...reasonable price. Say a hundred thousand.

Santiago: (smacking the table) One million for the entire take.

CS (vo, as the captain): Or my accent will get sillier.

Palmer: The hell was that?

(I can't understand the captain's line)

NC: Think of it as a waykakaw.

NC (vo): But Antonio Banbarrassment must postpone his negotiations as he's being attacked by the Great Comeuppance Storm of 2013.

(One of the crew members is eaten as the captain comes up)

CS (vo): Oh come on, Pac-Man doesn't eat people that fast!

(Sharks fly past the captain, biting off pieces of his face before one takes his head off as we go to scenes of sunny California)

CS (vo): And that's the last you'll see of this sharknado for another hour.

NC (vo): What?

CS (vo): Yeah, Sharknado, unironically, has very little sharknado in it.

NC (vo): Well then, why the hell am I watching it?

CS (vo): Oh don't worry, it's followed by the second most epic thing you could imagine.

NC (vo): Yeah, what's that?

CS (vo): Tara Reid's credit.

(Cue Foamy Guy!)