MarzGurl Loves Don Bluth: The Pebble and the Penguin

(Clips from the movie are shown)

MarzGurl (vo): Welcome to the year 1995, where Don Bluth's latest release is The Pebble and the Penguin. I'm starting to get a little concerned about the similarities and the introductions of many of these movies. What, were none of these stories ever simply told via word of mouth? You'll see plenty of animated animals in this movie, which is what Don Bluth is known to excel at without the assistance of rotoscoping. It's unfortunately yet another example of quite delicious looking animation that simply appears lackluster in the storytelling department. It's a story about a nervous male penguin by the name of Hubie. Hubie? What an interesting choice in names for a penguin. And he's voiced by none other than Martin Short. Now quite frankly, Martin Short is one of my all-time favorite actors, and to be honest, this movie makes me feel like he sacrificed quite a lot of talent when he decided to take on the role. All in all, it's a very disappointing performance.

Hubie: Goodness glaciers! (stutters) Marina!

MarzGurl (vo): Having a leading character that stutters is noble and all, and yet half of the time, it feels like because it's a visual medium, it somewhat drags the movie's pacing down.

(Hubie falls off a snowbank)

Hubie: I'm (stutters) sorry, Marina, I-I'm just so (stutters) clumsy.

MarzGurl (vo): The music is composed by Barry Manilow, and it's...well, it's okay for the most part, not the best music ever, but it's okay.

Hubie: (singing) Sometimes, I wonder why the moon is new...

MarzGurl (vo): Actually, moreso than the musical numbers themselves, I actually find the choreography to be quite good, especially in the song, Don't Make Me Laugh. I'd actually really like to see a live couple perform this routine.

Drake: (singing) I'm no hyena, so Marina, what'll it be? / Right this way to the Drake estate, or write your epitaph!

MarzGurl (vo): In any case, all the penguins in Antarctica are preparing to give their ladies an engagement stone. Hubie wants to give one to Marina, the prettiest lady penguin there is, but he's never even talked to her, not until one day when he sort of slides and bumps into her by accident. Sparks fly!

Marina: This is quite a spot, Hubie. What do you do up here?

Hubie: Well, um... (clears throat twice)...I (stutters) wonder about (stutters) stuff.

MarzGurl (vo): But there's somebody else with their eye on Marina, a big, tough dude by the name of Drake, voiced by Tim Curry. You could pretty much compare him to Gaston from Beauty and the Beast, he pretty much serves the same purpose.

Drake: Marina doesn't know it yet, but she's going to be my wife! Our children will be the strongest, the smartest, the bravest, not to mention the best looking.

MarzGurl (vo): So finally, the day comes when all the penguins are supposed to find rocks for their ladies. This is just one of many problems I have with this ceremony, could no penguin go out maybe a day early to find themselves a pebble, or do they all have to muscle over one another all in the exact same day? And then there's the fact that comes up a little later, that you have to choose a mate by a specific date or be banished from the group.

Drake: You must choose a mate before the Full Moon Mating Ceremony or...bwah! You're banished. (giggles) Gosh, that's the law.

MarzGurl (vo): That's a pretty crazy law, but it's weird because it's never brought up again. I kinda want to know more about it, like, at what age do the penguins have to participate in this, or is no one exempt, and if no one's exempt, does that mean the male penguins have to follow this deal, too, because I don't see anybody, not Hubie, not Marina and not Drake freaking out about this law. But in any case, Hubie is left to hunt for crappy pebbles in the middle of the night, when suddenly a magical rock from outer space falls and lands at his feet. No really, I'm not making that up, it actually happens! Now you see this rock? Like I said, it's freakin' magic. Hubie just thinks it's lovely and everything, but c'mon, first, it shows him the face of his true love, and later, it starts invading her privacy, giving him a window into her personal life.

Marina: I believe Hubie's still out there somewhere, and...he'll come home to me in time for the Full Moon Mating Ceremony.

MarzGurl (vo): And yet, he never really freaks out that the rock is capable of doing this, he almost kinda sorta shares the details with somebody else later on, but not really. I'm curious as to where, specifically, this magic rock came from. Is it a piece of alien technology? Are there any repercussions to using the stone? Well, nothing ever seems to happen with it, and nobody seems to want it terribly badly other than Hubie, so it's a mystical piece of stone that goes completely unexplained, and other than needing to get it back to Antarctica in one piece, it's never really addressed at all. Anyway, Drake is a jerk and he drops Hubie into sea lion infested waters, where eventually, Hubie is washed out to sea. Really far out to sea, like, so far, that he's picked up by a boat with a Scottish crew carrying a bunch of penguins, including one Scottish one as well.

Scottish penguin: (chuckles; to Hubie)You are aboard the good ship Misery. You've been asleep for nearly three days now.

MarzGurl (vo): Good Lord, how did he make it to the opposite side of the globe? For that matter, how did anybody end up with a Scottish penguin? I hear that the only penguins Scotland ever had were all killed to extinction, but I'm sure one of you viewers will plainly tell me how it's possible, or that I'm wrong or something, but that's good, it'll be interesting. Anyway, everyone starts singing about how miserable they are.

Scared penguin: (singing) If you're into pain and agony

Three penguins: (singing) Agony

Scottish penguin: (singing) If you love the great indoors

MarzGurl (vo): And that's when the ship picks up another penguin by the name of Rocko, voiced by Jim Belushi. He's actually probably the most believable actor in the whole movie.

Rocko: If he had any guts, he never would have let them take him alive. So, heh, where's this floating scrapheap headed, anyway?

MarzGurl (vo): The two of them decide to bust out of their cages and take off on their own. Now here they are on some beach somewhere near the equator. Man, these guys can move! Well, Hubie plans on getting back to Antarctica, but he doesn't have a clue how to get back. Rocko knows the way, but he isn't telling, that is, not until Hubie learns about Rocko's biggest dream.

(A seagull flies overhead and Rocko jumps up, trying to fly)

Hubie: Y-y-you want to fly, do ya?

MarzGurl (vo): Great, Rocko wants to fly. He's probably going to get that wish eventually, isn't he? It's probably going to be stupid, isn't it? Yeah, that's what I thought. So Hubie bribes him by telling Rocko that he knows a guy who can fly and off they go. All the while, Drake is still being a pushy jerk to Marina. This happens a lot throughout the movie, you aren't missing much. Past that, there's a whole bunch of bonding scenes between Hubie and Rocko. Rocko tries to fly, but still can't, Hubie admits that he lied knowing anyone who can fly, and yet, they're still friends, blah blah blah.

Hubie: (singing) Look how we get along together, (Rocko: {singing}: You are incredibly annoying) I think it's great the way-

MarzGurl (vo): The two almost get eaten a couple of times, one of those times is by a pack of killer whales. I actually really like the killer whale animation; they really move and jump like actual orcas, so on some level, I'm pretty appreciative of the attention to detail. Well, in all the commotion with the killer whales, Rocko disappears for a while and his bandana washes up to Hubie. I love how, in movies, an article of clothing washes up somewhere and the characters think the person it belonged to is dead. By now, I realize that it actually means that the character is alive and is going to show back up in the apex of the movie, but I digress. So Hubie shows back up just in time to try and save Marina. He learned a few punches and kicks from Rocko, but nothing that was really going to save Marina. Sure, Drake gets knocked off a ledge, Disney death style, but it isn't until the bizarrely brutal crushing by a boulder that Drake is really defeated, and wouldn't you know it, this is Rocko's moment to return and shine. As Drake's lair begins to crumble, Hubie and Marina start to fall off into the ocean, so what happens now?

(Rocko catches Hubie and Marina and floats back up, revealing that he can somehow fly)

Rocko: I'm flying. I'm flying!

(All three cheer)

MarzGurl (vo): Ugh, and the flying is really stupid, too! You see how he sorta just starts hovering like that? That's before he even gets the couple on his back and starts flying like a real bird. Maybe it's because Rocko ended up carrying the magic space rock at the end of the movie, and it has other unexplained mystical powers, I don't know. All I know is that Hubie finally proposes to Marina.

Hubie: You like it?

Marina: I love it!

Rocko: She better.

Hubie: Good.

Marina: But don't you know? It's not the pebble, it's the penguin.

MarzGurl (vo): Never mind the fact that Hubie never tells her, "Hey, this rock showed me pictures of you, check out the nifty creepy things it can do!" Nope, it's just passed off as a pretty, green stone, never even so much as explained that it came from outer space, magnificent. We end on a scene that looks strikingly similar to Dragon's Lair II.

Alright, is the movie good? Eh, not really. But is it bad? Well, I don't think so. The music is better than that of Rock-a-Doodle, and it has a more competent, definite story than A Troll in Central Park. It isn't wild, wacky and all over the place like Rock-a-Doodle is, either, it's just really simple, with some really interesting story elements that never get elaborated upon. It has a somewhat cool voice cast, and yet, it just feels really flat. Personally, I think that this movie and Thumbelina are somewhat in a category all their own, where the movies are just sorta mediocre. So after movies like these past few, is it possible that Don Bluth ever gets his old movie magic back? We're going to judge that when we discuss Anastasia, coming up next.

(Credits are shown)