Brad and Jerrid Play Candyland

Brad and Jerrid Play Candyland (April 18, 2010)

[Opening titles are shown]

[Brad and Jerrid are playing Candyland with pieces of candy in the middle of the board. Jerrid turns and card over and it’s red]

Jerrid: Ha, red space! Eat candy!

Brad: I can’t!

Jerrid: What?

Brad: I can’t eat anymore fucking candy! Blue space, eat candy. Green space, eat candy. Black space, eat candy. You know, there wasn’t even a black space, you just wanted to eat candy.

Jerrid: How the hell did you make it past Halloween as a child with all those stomach problems you have?

Brad: Easy, I wasn’t twenty-seven.

Jerrid: Oh so what, twenty-seven’s the new fifty?

Brad: It’s your turn.

Jerrid: Oh, right.

[Jerrid eats a piece of candy without even rolling the dice]

Brad: See! You just wanted to eat candy! You didn’t even take you’re turn.

Jerrid: Dude, you’re really bringing down game night.

Brad: We don’t have game night. Your date just canceled on you.

Jerrid: Oh, this is the first of a long series of game nights, my friend.

Brad: Oh yeah, I look forward to playing Shoots and Ladders with our Slip N’ Slide.

Jerrid: Dude!

Brad: We don’t have a Slip N’Slide.

Jerrid: Fuck! Well, this could be considered a date.

Brad: Fuck you, its two losers playing Candyland on a Friday.

Jerrid: Yeah but there’s music, a muted television, and…

[Jerrid points out two glasses of white wine]

Brad: This isn’t a date. And if your date was drinking out of a water bottle, like I am, instead of the wine you bought us, then clearly the two of you have trust issues.

Jerrid: You don’t like the wine I prepared?

Brad: Well, it’s…November.

Jerrid: So…red wine season?

Brad: Please.

Jerrid: All right. Be right back.

Brad: Is…is it my turn?

[Credits]