The Emoji Movie

(The Channel Awesome logo is displayed, followed by 2018 title sequence. Open on the NC sitting in his usual spot, but this time wearing a heavy frown. He silently holds up a Blu-Ray release of The Emoji Movie in one hand, and in the other, he holds up his cell phone and texts some emojis, which are displayed on the main screen: "[middle finger]", "[index finger pointing right]", "[pile of poop with an angry face on it]", all seemingly directed at the Blu-Ray. He then drops the cell phone. Cut to the title for this movie, followed by footage of it)

NC (vo): The Emoji Movie is one of the most famously despised films in recent years. With a premise that's beyond desperate and gimmicky, a trailer with far more dislikes than likes, and a Rotten Tomatoes score of (the Rotten Tomatoes page for the movie is displayed, showing off a score of...) eight friggin' percent, this movie's hate levels have reached legendary status.

NC: Now, usually, I like whatever I reviewed to have (posters for Jurassic World, Wonder Woman, It, and Mad Max: Fury Road appear around him) some sort of nostalgic tie-in.

NC (vo): But with all the requests I've been getting to review this, I can't see the film not becoming a nostalgic landmark of heinousness. There's a lot to get to, so let's get right to it. Insert your emoji icon (an image of an emoji icon pops up, doing what NC describes...) brutally stabbing The Emoji Movie here!

NC: Does that emoji not exist yet? It will! Let's take a look at currently one of the most hated films ever, (rolls eyes) The Emoji Movie.