Fox Kids

(The Channel Awesome logo is shown, followed by 2018 NC title sequence. Open on NC sleeping on the couch, snoring and all, surrounded by various pop culture memorabilia of all kinds. Lying on the floor, Tamara and Malcolm are wide awake, unable to sleep because of NC's snoring; from their perspective, it sounds like all kinds of loud noises: a jackhammer, an elephant trumpet, a Tarzan yell, a Howie Long yell, and a Tyrannosaurus Rex roar. Suddenly, outside, the moon explodes, turning into a sun, looking like the one from Teletubbies, and NC is wide awake and smiling; he puts on his glasses)

NC: MORNING! (brushes his hand in front of his friends' faces, to their annoyance) Wake up, wake up! Wake up, wake up! It's Saturday morning!

Tamara: (groggily) Critic, we didn't get much sleep.

NC: Too excited for your bowl of (takes two bowls of...) Lucky Frosted Cocoa Trix! (gives them to his friends) It's part of a complete breakfast!

Malcolm: (disgusted) From where, Dairy Queen's dumpster?

NC: Now, don't be like that. I poured you each a bowl of that last Saturday in preparation for this!

Tamara: You mean this has been out for a week?!

NC: It helps open up the flavors.

(Malcolm looks toward his bowl, looking rather sick; the cereal is a very moldy green)

Tamara: (giving NC her bowl) I had a big dinner.

Malcolm: (doing likewise) And I'm vegetarian. I'm pretty sure that used to be alive.

NC: (shrugs) Suit yourself. (eats the cereal himself)

Tamara: Okay, Critic, can you explain why we're up at dick o'clock in the morning?

NC: (Laughs with his mouth full) I forgot your humble aid, you know of the ritual of Saturday morning. You see, Saturday morning used to be a special time for kids, we often have friends sleepover the night before and then wake up to the majesty of television: Saturday morning cartoons, each one filled with brain-rotting material coaxing us to buy teeth-rotting material, Unfortunately, TV did its job too well and the following generation said, "Let's just have this shit raise our kids 24/7." Plus, every second of every goddamn day was already Saturday morning cartoons and they got rid of them years later. Society sucks.

Malcolm: Okay, we're not ten years old, we had Saturday morning cartoons, too.

Tamara: We're just wondering why we're here this Saturday morning?

NC: Oh well, that's because we're hang on to one of the best in Saturday morning awesomeness "Fox Kids"!

NC (con't): In 1990, the vents still young Fox Network aired it's Saturday Morning lineup of shows called "Fox Kids" it included bumpers, PSAs, catchy songs, and of course some of the best kid shows to ever aired on TV eventually branching out to Monday through Friday as well, Fox Kids lasted 12 years and unbelievable run when you consider it's counterparts the Disney Afternoon lasted only seven years. Well, half of these shows can still be viewed today, some of them have sadly never gotten the DVD release or were never to be aired again so keep in mind we're not going to look at every single show that aired on Fox Kids because like I said this is 12 years of material which is going to look at the most unique, inspired, and.....memorable parts of the greatest Saturday morning line up there was. So with our sugar-coated poison in hand.

Tamara: (Her finger pointed to the right) Younger kids wanting to watch what the older kids are watching.

Heather: Hey guys!

Walter: Can we watched the show too?

Malcolm: And an overprotective parentel who thinks of it's not Sesame Street it's bad for them.

(Barney Walker walks in)

Barney: I'm sorry kids, but you're too young to see this kind of stuff.

Heather: (Disappointed) I'm older than half of them over there.

Barney: Shoo, Shoo.

(NC, Malcolm, and Tamara waves good-bye)

Walter: I hate you! You're not even a real father!

Barney: Kids, are you enjoying Saturday morning?

NC, Malcolm, and Tamara: (Saying altogether) Yes, dad.

Barney: That's good, I'm going to make some waffles on the stove just for you. (He left)

(NC, Tamara, and Malcolm looked puzzled)

Malcolm: Do we have a stove?