BlahBlahBlah

(Todd plays "BlahBlahBlah" on his keyboard. Text appears reading: KESHA ft. 3OH!3 - "BLAHBLAHBLAH])

Todd: Wow. Here I am, thatguywiththeglasses.com. I cannot believe this has happened. This is amazing, this is incredible, I cannot believe I'm here. This is...[Looks around the room] You know, I kind of imagined I'd have a better setup after I got on here. Or some decent lighting, at least. You know, this is honestly kind of disappointing. No, I kid, I kid. Basically, when I started making videos, my only ambition was to maybe, someday get on this site, and the fact that this has happened...this is pretty incredible to me. Now that out of the way, let's talk about Ke$ha.

(Clip of "Tik Tok" appears)

Todd: It was at the end of last year that we were introduced to Ke-dollarsign-Ha, also known as Ke$ha through her debut single "Tik Tok", which I've already talked about in videos past. Basically, I couldn't get past Ke$ha's trashy, valley girl, drunk chick persona. But at the same time, the song was still amazingly catchy, and every time I thought it was getting too irritating, I suddenly had to get up and dance to it. But every time I tried to dance to it, it got irritating. Yeah, someday years from now, I'm gonna hear this song and it's gonna be my favorite song ever. In any case, I'm not entirely sure what to expect from her and her follow-up single...(Cut to cover of the single) "BlahBlahBlah" (Oh dear Jesus.) Yeah, I'm not expecting much from this, but I have always been one for being open-minded, so we're gonna sit here and take a listen. Dave, play the clip.

''The video for "BlahBlahBlah" plays. Every time Todd tried to speak, he can't. After the first forty seconds of this song, he motions for it to be turned off.''

Todd: I quit. I quit. Folks, this is my official retirement. Guys, I had an amazing run here. This was amazing, this was incredible, I had so much fun, this was a great experience in my life. I just got so much appreciation for everyone who's supported me over the years. I gotta thank the thatguywiththeglasses.com crew for taking a chance on a poor southern boy with a piano all those years ago. I remember it like it was last week. I gotta thank the fans, I gotta thank the humungous fan base I've built on this site over the years. You guys mean everything to me. I couldn't have done all the amazing things I've done on this show without you. I have one thing to ask: please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism, it's my least favorite quality, and it doesn't lead anywhere. I guess that's it. Thank you, thank you so much, you've be...you've been so amazing. I'm done. I have to go.

''He gets up and leaves. A black card reads "THE END ToddInTheShadows's Pop Song Reviews R.I.P (2010-2010)" and the closing music of SNL plays with applause. Cut to Todd coming back to the piano.''

Todd: No, no, you know what? I do have something to say about this. Now, like I was saying earlier, "Tik Tok" left me more ambivalent than any song I can remember. I really liked it, but I really really hated it. I was just...I just didn't know what to feel about it, and that was horribly frustating. So thank you, Ke$ha, thank you. I know exactly what to feel about this.

Todd (voiceover as video plays): I hate every second of this. Everything about this song is unpleasant. This actually smells bad. I can smell this through my speakers and it's awful!

Todd: I mean, this is truly remarkable. I have never heard a song give me the finger (brief picture of middle finger) as quickly as this one did. It's literally blah-blah-blah. The first line of the song is "blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah"!

Various parts of the video that say "blah", along with clips of an anime (please help) and Bob Loblaw from "Arrested Development"

Todd: We've finally made it here, folks. We've finally reached this point. This is what all pop music must sound like to people who hate pop music. And if you do hate all pop music, I can't even imagine what this sounds like to you!

Todd (VO): To you, this must just be like the sound of armpit farts and the screams of innocent children!

Todd: Okay, let's just start with the beat. Did someone actually sit down and compose this, or did they just throw things at a synthesizer from across the room?

After a snippet of the video, various things are thrown at the piano including a giant stuffed animal.

Todd (VO): And that's before you get to the unpleasantness of the vocals.

Ke$ha: Listen hot stuff...

Todd: When she could even be bothered to try actually singing, it's this terrible autotuned whining that's just...intolerable.

Ke$ha: Music's up, listen hot stuff...

Todd (VO): Is Ke$ha the only person ever to be autotuned off-key?!

Todd: I mean, the bleepy-bloopy music was bad enough, but combine that with Ke$ha's awful vocoder squealing. Sounds like a chainsaw going through a Pac-Man machine

Pac-Man gets touched by Clyde, ending the game

Ke$ha: I dont really care where you live at Just turn around boy and let me hit that

Todd: "Turn around boy, let me hit that" [Shows images of dolls posing to illustrate] I don't understand the mechanics here.

Ke$ha: I dont really care where you live at Just turn around boy and let me hit that Don't be a little bitch with your chit chat Just show me where your dick's at

Todd: Uh...it's between his legs. You know, the crotch area, that's where it usually is on most guys. You should know that. I mean, not that I'm making any assumptions about your character, but I'm pretty sure you're already well-acquainted with the location of a penis.

Ke$ha: Boy come on get your rocks off Come put a little love in my glove box I wanna dance with no pants on HOLLA!

Todd: If hearing rich white girls using hip-hop slang makes you wanna slice open your eardrums, HOLLA!

Ke$ha: HOLLA HOLLA HOLLA!

Todd: I'm gonna kill someone!

Ke$ha: Blah blah blah Think you'll be getting this Nah nah nah

Todd (VO): Do you wanna screw the guy or not?! Make up your mind! I mean, you already said this:

Ke$ha: I wanna dance with no pants on...I wanna be naked...

Todd (VO): No point in playing coy now! Oh, don't take a crap on the bowling alley!

Todd: She's do it too; probably done it before.

Ke$ha: ...you keep talking that Blah blah blah blah

Todd: Blah! Sounds like the world's skankiest version of Kidz Bop.

Todd (VO): Jesus in heaven! Try and wrap your head around the irony that the whole point of the song is that Ke$ha, the most annoying person in the world, thinks someone else needs to shut up!

Todd: Ke$ha, who sounds like a drunk hamster, Ke$ha...thinks someone else needs to shut up! Who in the world could be so annoying that Ke$ha has to tell them to shut up?! Well, let's find out.

3OH!3: You be delaying, You always be saying some shit You say I'm playing, I'm never laying the bitch Sayin' "blah,...

Todd (VO): Oh good, the douchebag duo have arrived.

Todd: These guys are called 3OH!3, they had one hit last year called "Don't Trust Me"

3OH!3: Shush girl, shut your lips, Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips.

Todd (VO): Helen Keller wasn't mute, you morons!

Todd: Anyway, I guess I kind of assumed that they were pretending to be dumb frat boys. You know, like the Beastie Boys. I was wrong. They are not pretending. Either that, or they have gone so far into character at this point, that they can't get out.

Todd (VO): You know, you imitate Beavis and Butt-head long enough, you become Beavis and Butt-head.

3OH!3: ...you are In this bar It only matters who I is

Todd (VO): Oh wait, oh wait. Okay, there's the tip-off. They are pretending.

Todd: No one says "who I is", guys. Trying too hard. Now compare what you're doing to Ke$ha, who is so convincing in the role of vapid bar skank, it's almost like she's not even trying.

D-Bag in video: Let me let you know, this ain't no TMZ stuff, all right. This is artist-to-artist.

Todd (VO): I think I should also mention the opening of the video, where Ke$ha blows off some guy for being, quote "a mega-douchemaster"...

Todd: Which is accurate, yes, but honestly, am I supposed to believe that Ke$ha is some queen of high standards here?

Todd (VO): She gave us a song that's basically the soundtrack for vomiting down the shirt of the guy you're having sex with in a broken mens room.

Todd: I'll be honest. The first time I heard this song, I thought "well, that's the end of Ke$ha. We'll never be hearing from her again." Once again, I went broke by overestimating the tastes of the American public.

Ke$ha: Stop stop stop talking that...

Todd (VO): Just go away

Todd: Yeeesh! That's what I have to deal with on my first day? Ugh! This is gonna suck.