Top 11 Nostalgia Critic F*** Ups Part 3

NC: You read the title. You all know what's coming.

Douchy McNitpick: Doh! Nostalgia Critic. You are ...

NC: ... scrotum of existence?

Douchy: And you ...

NC: ... made some more fuck-ups?

Douchy: And I'm ...

NC: ... here to point them out?

Douchy: Hey, you're pretty good at this.

NC: Maybe I should be my own troll.

Douchy: NOOO!!! All I will have left then is leaving comments on Youtube. That's where today's real philosophers are.

NC: Shall we gear up for Part 3.

Douchy: Yes. This is the Top 11 Nostalgia Critic Fuck-Ups, Part 3: Revenge of the Shit.

NC: Wouldn't that technically be Return of the Jedi?

Douchy: No. How come everyone always makes that mistake. Return of the Jedi is part 6. Revenge of the Sith is part 3. Just because it came out 6th doesn't mean...

NC: Oh God. Just get on with it!

(Intro video plays with Ren and Stimpy footage set to Weird Al's Everything You Know is Wrong.)

NC: Number 11

Douchy: Your countless Disneycember fuck-ups.

NC (vo): OK. I'm going a litte bit out of character here just to talk about the few mistakes made in Disneycember. Granted, most of it's nitpicking, but that's why we're here. I'll go through the ones that were brought up the most. In my Aristocats review, I say that the butler is going to inherit the cats and he wants to get rid of them because he hates cats. Well, technically that's true except I forgot to mention that the cats were going to inherit all the riches, and once they're out of the picture, he'll inherit all of the money. OK, does that really make the film any stronger? I guess it gives him more reason to kill them, but who leaves money to cats. It's still stupid. Next is in both Rescuers movies, I say that Miss Bianca is played by Zsa Zsa Gabor when actually it was her sister, Eva Gabor. Honestly, I'm just impressed my fanbase remembers who either of these women were. I must have more Green Acres fans than I thought. Another is that I say the friends in A Goofy Movie are going to a concert when really they were just watching it at home. I was just Max who was going to appear at the concert on TV. Again, minor mess-up. But the one people really freaked out over was when I called the leopard in Tarzan a cheetah. Guess I never knew people were so feline-savvy, but yes, that would make this kitty a leopard. It's a cat. It has spots. Whatever.

NC: Again, minor mess-up, but they're worth bringing up.

Douchy: Minor?! How would you like it if I called these things: (picture of a duck) a rabbit, (picture of a giraffe) a turtle, (picture of Matthew Broderick commercial) a good superbowl campaign.

NC: I wouldn't care.

Douchy: I would!!!

NC: Number 10

Douchy: Psychiatrists do have to go to medical school, you ass of an ox!

NC (vo): I think most people knew what I meant by this, but it's still a major fuck-up. What I was referring to in my Patch Adams review was that the character they were portraying would be much better learning to be a psychiatrist as opposed to a doctor who performs medical operations, but either way, you still gotta go to medical school, which I reacted to strangely when I heard was going to in the movie. I didn't mean to indicate that psychiatrists aren't doctors. They still have to know the biological, psychological, and social aspects of the patient. That way, they can tell if the problem is medabolic or psychiatric. I was referring more that a man who does nothing but act the Bozo the Jackass would be fitted more away from the medical tools unless they were being used to stab him. I'm also told that bedside manner wasn't at its best, even back then. But I still have my doubts that the way these doctors talk was the norm. I mean, they were pretty much saying that all doctors back then were acting like...

Douchy: DOOOH!!!

NC: That.

NC (vo): And that just doesn't seem as logical. Wouldn't it make more sense if you're a nice doctor that you get more patients who would WANT to come see you and they would prefer you over doctors who are mean. Did Patch Adams really come and transform this? I have my suspicions, but who I am to talk about a time period when I wasn't even a sperm yet?

NC: On the plus side, at least we don't have to put up with that horrible Dr. Bitch Spasms, again. (nothing happens) Yeah, I bet you thought he was gonna come in and do something funny, but no. I shot him. He's dead. He's right there lying on the floor. I really should do something about that corpse.

NC: Number 9

Douchy: You shouldn't review Thomas the Tank Engine if you haven't seen the show.

NC (vo): OK, look. I made it very clear that I never saw this show. I was only reviewing the movie based on the fact that a lot of people wanted me to review it and for the most part, people liked it, but to all those people saying I need to see the show before I judge the movie:

NC: I'm here to make jokes. Calm the fuck down.

NC (vo): I've reviewed movies based on shows that I've never seen before like the Pokemon movie, The Avengers. Heck, even the original Star Trek shows I've barely seen but I can still get through the movies OK. I'm just judging what's givin to me as a movie-goer. Maybe it is made for people who watched the show, in which case, I get the feeling I would like the show even less, but sometimes half the fun is not knowing about it and being really confused. That's what made a lot of people enjoy the Pokemon review. Now, if I said the show sucked despite having never saw it, then I can understand getting angry, but when I openly acknowledge that I've never seen it, I just think it makes for funnier moments when I don't know what's going on. I also hear that some people were angry that I was shocked that big names Alec Baldwin and Peter Fonda were in this when big name George Carlin was on the original show. Well, Peter Fonda and Alec Baldwin, for the most part, were still doing big dramatic roles at that time. I love George Carlin but ... he was doing Tarzan 2 and Scary Movie 3.

NC: The shock values kind of taken down a few notches after you do that. ... But he's still awesome.

Subtitles: FUCK YEAH!

NC: What were those words again?

George Carlin: Shit, piss, cunt, fuck, cocksucker, motherfucker, tits, fart, turd, and twat.

NC: Now if that was in Thomas the Tank Engine, I would probably like it.

NC: Number 8

Douchy: Pee-Wee's floor DID talk in Pee-Wee's Playhouse.

NC (vo): Yes, in another Top 11 List, the Top 11 Nostalgic Mindfucks, I say that the intro to Pee-Wee's Playhouse is in fact a nostalgic mindfuck. However, I say at one point that the only thing that never talked on this show was the floor. Well, I was wrong. Apparently, even the floor got up to say a few lines every once in a while. In fact, he even had a name. His name was Floory, and I swear, I don't know how I forgot him.

NC: Now because of this, a lot of people have been accusing me of being an Anti-Ground-Ite. Well, let me tell you something. I have nothing against hard-working floors!

NC (vo): Sure, they're taken for granted. Sure, we walk over them all the time, but that doesn't mean they don't have feelings too.

NC: Many of my good friends are floors. In fact, I have a good strong relationship with my floor right here, isn't that right, Howard. (Gunshot from floor) Apparently, floors can fire guns. ... I did not know that. How are you holding that thing anyway?

NC: Number 7

Douchy: Soran couldn't fly into the Nexus because his ship would explode. CLOD!

NC (vo): In my Star Trek: Generations review, I ask why the villain, Soran, couldn't just buy a ship and fly it into the Nexus.

Past NC (vo): Couldn't you just save up your money and be like "Shuttle, please. My God, that was easy. Hello, Nexus. How are you. Nyyaaah."

NC (vo): Well, actually, there is a line that explains why.

Picard: Why doesn't he just fly into with a ship?

Data: Our records show that any ship that has approached the ribbon has either been destroyed or severely damaged.

NC (vo): OK, so a ship can't fly into it, but still aren't there more creative ways he could pull this off? Like, aren't there still spacesuits in the future. If he knows where it's going, can't he just work his way out there and wait for it to hit him, and then the ship behind him could be destroyed. Hell, they still have beaming devices. Can't they just beam him in a spacesuit outside of the Nexus and let it hit him? There just has to be easier ways. But never the less, my theory of flying a ship into the Nexus technically doesn't work. Now, I know what you're thinking. Aren't there one or two other scrubs in your Star Trek: Insurrection review?

NC: Ahem.

Linkara: There's a commentary. Boom! (Shows the link) Go listen to it. Sorry about some of the audio issues.

(NC does a hand gesture)

NC: Number 6

Douchy: Dunston's an ape, not a monkey!