Big Fat Liar

(Channel Awesome logo and NC opening)

NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. (A shot of the following appears in the corner...) Paul Giamatti is one of our greatest living actors. And (The image is changed to Giamatti as...) the Rhino from The Amazing Spider-Man 2. (A third shot of Giamatti as Marty Wolf from Big Fat Liar (skin turned blue) appears in the opposite corner) And this blue guy who tormented Malcolm in the Middle. (beat) We're talking about that one.

(The title of the 2002 movie Big Fat Liar is shown, followed by clips)

NC (vo): In 2002, a couple of rising stars were on the rise...rise, Frankie Muniz being Malcolm from Malcolm in the Middle, and Paul Giamatti being that guy I knew was good, but I never bothered to learn his name until I saw him in (poster of...) Sideways.

NC: Yeah, you all did. Don't lie.

NC (vo): So Universal said these two must be in a film together. The... screen demands it. Oh, and fit Amanda Bynes in there, because she's something for a minute, too. And thus, we got Big Fat Liar, an adequately possible hit. Though past my time when it came out, these's a lot of kids who grew up with this movie and seem to remember it with fond memories. Well, I'll be the judge of what you remember fondly. It's time to take a look at this film and see if it holds up to...the okay praises that have been projected onto it. Let's see the film that actually landed Paul Giamatti the role of John Adams. (The shot of Giamatti as John Adams in the eponymous 2008 mini-series is shown)

NC: I'm... actually giving a minute to see how many of you guys are looking that up to see if that's true. This is Big Fat Liar.

(The movie starts by showing the 14-year-old boy Jason Shepherd (Muniz) who rides on a skateboard to school)

NC (vo): We open with a typical 2000s song that, once again, sounds like an old smoking woman has something in her throat...

(And this song is "Come On Come On" by Smash Mouth)

Steve Harvell: (singing) Come on, come on and tell me why you're staring...

NC: (sings mockingly) I don't know! I can't haaaack it ooooouuttt... God, music sucked bad then.

NC (vo): ...as Frankie Muniz plays a boy named Jason, who gets tripped by some bullies.

(A bully named Bret Callaway (Taran Killam) steps on Jason's skateboard, making him fall on the ground. Bret's two cronies snicker, but Bret shuts them up by showing them index fingers)

NC: Those two give a look...

NC (vo): ...like those fingers have been up them.

NC: Yeah, they've been up them.

(After Bret takes the skateboard for himself, Jason has to run)

NC (vo): They steal his skateboard, which means he's late for school and therefore gets...locked out?

(Jason doesn't enter the school's doors as the principal closes them)

Steve Harvell: (singing) Come on, come on and stop!

NC: (shifts eyes) Uh, how exactly does this work? When we used to screw up, we were punished by being kept there, not by being kept out.

(In the English class, a girl named Kaylee (Amanda Bynes) recieves two messages from Jason on her phone, which say she needs to create a distraction. She does so while Jason sneaks through the window, but the teacher Phyllis Caldwell spots him)

NC (vo): He gets the attention of his friend Kaylee, played by Amanda Bynes, who makes a distraction in class while he sneaks in.

Jason: No. You looked flushed. I was just creating a cross-draft.

Ms. Caldwell (Sandra Oh): Why don't you read us your story?

Jason: You know what? Let's give someone else a chance.

Ms. Caldwell: You did do it, didn't you?

NC: (as Jason) Like how you did Thomas Haden Church in Sideways, (leans forward) another Paul Giamatti film you were in?! (normal) Okay, that...joke was much more underdeveloped than I thought. It's a work in progress.

NC (vo): Muniz tells a big lie about why he was late and dares her to call his dad to verify.

Ms. Caldwell: You are lying through your teeth, you little demon.

Jason: Call my dad if you want.

Ms. Caldwell: I think I will. (leaves the class)

NC (vo; as Ms. Caldwell): Let me just abandon the class for what I could easily do later. Kids, educate yourselves!

Jason: (recieves a call and speaks in a low, sick voice, imitating his father) Hello?

NC (vo): He gives her his number, of course, and pretends to be his father.

Jason: (as his father) I said, "Back off, Grim Reaper! I ain't done living yet."

(Ms. Caldwell returns, concerned)

NC (vo): Our education dollars at work, as she apparently falls for a kid mid-voice crack as an adult man.

Ms. Caldwell: You just take your time handing in that assignment.

Jason: Thank you.

NC: Okay, what did those later scenes of Grey's Anatomy do to you? That was stupid! Beyond stupid! (hears his phone ringing and answers it) Hello? Why, yes. Oh, I'll ask right now. (clears throat) Is there a Seymour Buts here? A Seymour Bu- (realizes) Wait a minute! (Bart Simpson's laughter is heard from NC's phone)