Dragonbored

''We open with the Channel Awesome logo, as well as the title "The Uncanny Valley", as we fade to black and hear a voice. As the voice continues to speak, we cut to a dark swamp at night with a shadowy figure.''

Figure: The Uncanny Valley, a nebulous undefined realm quite like our own and yet, not. What lurks in the digital bowels of the unknown? The deranged. The disturbed. The diseased.

The figure (played by Nash) reveals himself:

Webmaster: I am the Webmaster, weaver of a web of horrors. Join me as we travel to another dimension. A dimension, not only of sight and sound, but of memes. That Google search up ahead. The next stop: The Uncanny Valley.

The Webmaster gives an evil grin, when suddenly...

Voice: Uh, hello.

The Webmaster confusingly looks to his side to find a man (played by Rob Walker) wearing a brown robe, goggles, and a construction helmet with a yin-yang symbol on it.

WM: Who are you?

Man: Uh, I'm Thomas.

WM: What can I do for you, Thomas?

Thomas: Um, well, I'm supposed to film here.

WM: Film?

Thomas: Um, yeah, I have my own show, uh, Meditation Safety

The Meditation Safety title card appears with Thomas and text saying "Your cosmic connection to the ultimate protection. 6 days since our last injury.

Thomas: (vo) Meditating the safe and responsible way

WM: Well, safety is of no concern here. (Starts a haunting moaning sound...)

Thomas: It really should be because do you know how many people die from improper meditation every year?

WM: How many?

Thomas: Well, none, thanks to us.

WM: Well, be gone, Obi-Wan Granola. Leave my web of horrors immediately.

Thomas: Is that where we're supposed to be? You know, I hope when you key this green screen effect, you, uh, you do it right because if not, like if I wave my hand really fast like this (waves his arm up and down) See that green line. It will be very distracting.

WM: Listen, Veggie Burger. The station said I had this studio until 8.

Thomas: Oh. Oh goodness gracious me. They must have double-booked. You know, this is why it's always good to take your pinko bilobo(?)

WM: Can you get out of here now?

Thomas: Not before I balance your shockwaves. They are...

WM: BEAT IT!!!

Thomas: Fine. (He leaves) I'll just be over here, feng shui-ing the dinner table.

WM: Our first tale shows how a playful online obsession can become a deadly online obsession, except nobody really dies, but they get plenty annoyed. Isn't that dark? I call this tale...

Thomas: (vo) Oh my God. Krispie Kreme is still around? You know this stuff is terrible for you.

WM: ...As I was saying. I call this...

Thomas: (vo) Does anyone have any sprouted tofu? (The Webmaster throws his top hat to the side) Oh my third eye!

WM: I call this tale, Dragonbored.

''We fade to black. ''

Our story begins on an interview show called Game Start.

Monica (Dayna Munday): So, Terry Zahn, head of Mephesto. Tell us about your latest game, Aura Scrolls On-line Skyguard. Is it better than the previous installment?

Terry (Trevor Mueller): No, Monica. It's better than life.

Monica: How so?

Terry: Three words for you, baby: Interactvity. We've created a fully realized fantasy world where you can do whatever you want, whenever you want, and let me tell you. You can get married. You can have kids. You can't kill your kids yet, but we're working on a patch for that. Also, you'll eventually be able to fly a fricking dragon. How cool would that be? Flying around, dominating kingdoms, with your firebreathing sauce all over their fucking faces. The thought of it just puts me in the mood. Fuck, it's your adventure.

Monica: And you don't feel that comes with its own set of problems, like the South Korean boy who became so enamored with the game that he starved himself to death?

Terry: Monica, it's just like anything else. It's about personal choice.

Monica: And what about the choice to release it on the PSB(?)?

Terry: It's true it's an older console, so it comes with some bugs. Some big bugs, but we're working around the clock to fix those.

Monica: Awesome.

Terry: It's better than life.

''We fade to black as we cut to the Dragonbored title card. We then cut to our main character, Carl (played by Karl Custer), in his apartment playing Skyguard. We then see his messing coffee table, including a paper saying "Merger Proposal due Tues." His phone rings as he mumbles to himself. He then picks it up with his foot and holds it up to his ear as he continues playing.''

Carl: Yello.

We cut to an office building.

Teylin (Malcolm Ray): Hey, it's Teylin, uh, what are you doing.

Carl: Playing

Teylin: I thought you were sick.

Carl: Oh, yeah, I am (coughs into his phone).

Teylin: You got that merger proposal covered?

Carl: (Checks his cluttered mess) Oh, yeah, nearly done.