It (2017)

(Open on a red curtain, with audience chatter in the background. Hyper Fangirl walks out in front of the curtain, waving)

HFG: Hello! Usually, when someone walks in front of a red curtain, it's to tell you that you're about to see something scary. (holds up index finger) And indeed, by Internet standards, you will be seeing something scary tonight: opinions!

(The audience is heard reacting audibly)

Someone in audience: (high-pitched, shrieking) OH MY GOD!!!

HFG: I know! I know. Sometimes opinions can be scary, especially when they're not your own. But, remember when Nostalgia Critic reviewed IT for the first time and everyone got really angry, and now everyone wants him to do a Stephen King review once a year? So, being the Internet, we can all be adults here and just agree that there's better things to argue about.

(The audience starts booing and throws negative comments at her; she ducks to avoid getting hit)

HFG: My fiancee said that this would happen, so he wrote me a little backup speech. (she bends down and picks up a HUGE MACHINE GUN, which she holds out at the audience menacingly) ANY O' YOU CRYBABIES SHIT-PANTS GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT, YOU CAN TALK IT UP WITH ME!!!

(With that, she opens fire on the audience! The machine gun bullets mow them down in a barrage of bullets, until the audience's screaming fades into silence)

HFG: (smiling) There, that's better. (sets gun down) Enjoy the review. Have a good time. And remember, if anyone feels triggered, you can say hello to (suddenly picks up machine gun again) MY TRIGGER, BIOTCH!!

(She fires a shot that triggers the 2017 NostalgiaWeen opening, set to the opening of a Simpsons Treehouse of Horror episode. This time, the graves in the Joke Cemetery are depicted as follows: "Simpsons After Season 6", "Joel Schumacher Cinematic Universe", "Good Transformers Films", and "Nicolas Cage Saying 'No'". For the Simpsons couch gag inside Channel Awesome studios, NC, Tamara and Malcolm all run up to the couch, only to spot a red balloon with eyes on it floating there. They all scream and run away)