Shake It Off

Todd plays "Shake It Off" on the piano.

'TAYLOR SWIFT - SHAKE IT OFF A pop song review'

Todd: [already aghast] Whaaa?!


 * Video for "Shake It Off"
 * Taylor: I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
 * Shake it off, shake it off

Todd: Why?!!!


 * Taylor: My ex-man brought his new girlfriend
 * She's like...

Todd (VO): Oh my God, she's rapping!

Todd: Taylor Swift is rapping! I remember...


 * Clip of "Thug Story"

Todd (VO): ...when that was a joke!


 * Taylor: ...shawtys never thought I'd dream about
 * Rappin' hardcore!

Todd (VO): That used to be a joke! Now it's actually happening! [back to "Shake It Off"] What happened, when did Taylor Swift become a living Bratz doll?!

Todd: Okay, obviously, shiny, happy, pop diva Taylor Swift is not a new development.


 * Clip of "22"
 * Taylor: I don't know about you.

Todd (VO): This isn't new, I shouldn't be surprised. But I am! Like [clip of...] how the first Transformers was bad, so I knew the second one was gonna be bad, and yet I never could have predicted the insane, off-the-charts level of bad?

Todd: That's what this is. Taylor Swift is saying...


 * ''Clips of "I Knew You Were Trouble"...

Todd (VO): ..."No. Dubstep wasn't selling out, [..."22"...] that "Party in the USA" clone wasn't selling out, [...and back to "Shake It Off"] this is selling out."


 * Taylor: I'm dancin' on my own (dancin' on my own)

Todd (VO): And I can hear you saying now, "This isn't that bad, it's got hustle, it's got energy, it's happy, it's... it's more than fun than listening [clip of "Stay with Me" by...] to that Sam Smith dirge that gets played all the time. This isn't that bad."

Todd: No, it is!

Todd (VO): And this is exactly where I was worried she was heading. [clips of...] And no, not because of "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together", not even because of "22".

Todd: No, the real song that worried me was "I Knew You Were Trouble".


 * Taylor: Now I see-ee-ee-ee-ee

Todd (VO): Sure, it was dubsteppy and vacuous, and she went "ee-ee-ee" at the end of every line like a wounded dolphin. But that wasn't why. It was because it was the first Taylor Swift song I ever heard that could've been performed...

Todd: ...by anybody.

Todd (VO): Katy Perry could do it. Selena Gomez could do it. [clip of...] If Glee did a cover of it, it would be exactly the same! Think about that!

Todd: And that's what really bothers me about Taylor's increasing...

Todd (VO): ...Ariana Grande-ization. I remember thinking back when [clips of "Fifteen"...] she started out, she was just a teenage girl who wrote about teenage girl things, but with time, she would mature into a very good songwriter. [..."Love Story"...] I thought she would move on from writing about teen romance and boys named Drew to, uh... I don't know, paying taxes? Yeah, ad- adult stuff. But [..."We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together"...] the exact opposite happened. She's only gotten more vapid and edgeless, and considering she started out in mainstream country music, that's a hell of a low point to reach. [...and back to "Shake It Off"] And instead of moving on to a more mature understanding of the world, she's talking about...

Todd: ...haters.


 * Taylor: And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate
 * Baby...

Todd (VO): Yes, she is shaking off... [image of a man yelling and giving two thumbs down] the haters.

Todd: That great Boogeyman of pop music. [images of two girls talking about another girl behind her back, a creepy man peeking through the window blinds, and a cartoon of two men adding fluoride to water supply] Haters: they're everywhere. Haters are infiltrating our government right now, poisoning our water supply. [Todd knocks on the piano three times] Uh-oh. I think I hear some coming now! [sure enough, two puppet-haters peek in from the bottom-right corner]


 * Clips of "Teardrops On My Guitar"
 * Taylor: Drew looks...

Todd (VO): Okay, let's rewind here. Now, I have obviously never been a big fan of T-Swizzle, as we used to call her as a joke but now seems like maybe it isn't. Back when she first got big and she was winning Grammys everywhere, I thought she was very overrated. But now that the backlash is sitting in [... and "Ours"] and she's a very easy target, I'm more inclined to defend her, believe it or not. Because she does have some very real talent, and honestly, I think a lot of the criticism she gets is bullshit, especially the ones that center on her personal life.

Todd: She dates a lot of different guys, and?

Transcript in progress