Replay

Todd: "Replay"'s kind of a nothing of a song, and this is a...a pretty short video; it's the shortest one I think I've put out since the first couple 'cause there's nothing to it. Um...I'm not sure why I picked it for a review honestly. Like...that's the toughest one to write about—the boring ones. I mean, there was only one artist, no guest rappers, so there was only one person and you've never even heard of this guy before. Uh...after this, I starting using my little brother as a ghostwriter again for, you know, the next few episode just 'cause I felt this one came out kind of thin. Uh...it went over well, I guess. "Replay" by Iyaz, enjoy.

Fade out

Fade into Todd playing "Replay" on his keyboard.

IYAZ- "REPLAY" A pop song review

Todd: Okay. Now so far, I've reviewed songs if I thought they were stupid or if they were goofy or awful or bizarre, even if I thought they were good. But what about those songs with no outstanding qualities whatsoever? Now any critic will tell you those are the hardest things in the world to review, but I'm a brave guy, I figured I'd give it a shot. Which brings us, of course, to today's song—"Replay" by Iyaz.

Video for "Replay" Iyaz: Na na na na everyday It's like my iPod stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay-ay

Todd (VO): "Replay" is pretty fittingly named because it's one of the most overplayed songs on the radio right now. I'm pretty sure I've heard it, like, 500 times at this point, and not once has it provoked even the slightest bit of emotional reaction in me.

Todd: It's just a blitheringly boring song, and it's tough to know what to say about it. Is it good? No. Is it bad? I wouldn't say that. Is it catchy? Mildly. How does it compare to other songs on the radio? Well, I'm glad you asked. It sounds exactly like other songs on the radio.

Todd (VO): In fact, if you asked me what pop music sounds like right now at this moment in time, I'd tell you it sounds like "Replay" by Iyaz, 'cause it's got everything.

Todd: Egregious overuse of the word, "shorty"?

Iyaz: [repeated] Shorty.

Todd: Check. Bunch of random guys shouting, "Hey!"?

Guys: Hey! Iyaz: Na na na...

Todd: Check. Those guys are really becoming a nuisance, by the way. Nice little R&B synth thing going on?

Iyaz: ...write you a symphony

Todd (VO): Check. Eat your heart out, Owl City.

Todd: Now you see what I mean? Throw in a Lil Wayne guest verse, and it'd have everything. Musically, it is utterly indistinct, but what about lyrically? What's it about?

Iyaz: Shawty's like a melody in my head That I can't keep out [instead of "out", text reads "broke (...??)"] Got me singin' like Na na na na everyday It's like my iPod stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay-ay

''"Replay" is sponsored by Apple iPod shuffles $59.99 at store.apple.com''

Todd: Got that? That's the central conceit of this song. This girl is like a [picture of...] broken iPod—how romantic. More specifically, she's like a song that just goes, "na na na na na everyday," which, to me, sounds more like an insult. You know? *sigh* "Old lady, she's like 'na na na na na everyday.'" And then there's that little stutter thing at the end of the chorus.

Iyaz: ...replay-ay-ay-ay

Todd: You know, I guess that's supposed to represent the sound of the song replaying in his head, although that's not really a song replaying, it's more like a song skipping.

Iyaz: replay-ay-ay-ay [Clip of...] Max Headroom: Ma-m-m-m-m-max Headroom

Todd: And that's about it. That's about all there is to the song. For the most part, it's just another silly love song.

Clip of Wings - "Silly Love Songs" Paul McCartney: What's wrong with that

Todd: What's wrong with that? Nothing, really. But I do have to point out that in a world where R&B has just gotten ridiculously over-the-top macho, "Replay" does sound pretty dopey.

Iyaz: I was scared to approach ya But then you came closer Hopin' you would give me a chance

Todd: Awwww.

Iyaz: We talk on the phone, from night til the morn Girl you really change my life

Todd: Awwww. I mean, seriously, check this out.

Iyaz: See you been all around the globe Not once did you leave my mind

Todd: And then, a few lines later...

Iyaz: I'm in the kitchin cookin things she likes

Todd: So she travels the world while you stay home and cook. That is whipped, dude. That is like, Ray Romano-level whipped. And also there's a...

Iyaz: That girl is the gun to my holster She's runnin through my mind all day, ay Shawty's like a melody in my head

''Todd is asleep on the keyboard. Jarred awake by a car horn.''

Todd: All right, all right. I'm trying, I'm trying, all right? Keep it rolling, keep it rolling.

Iyaz: I'm in the kitchin cookin things she likes We're real worldwide[text reads, "We railroad white (...??)"], breakin all the rules Someday I'm gonna make you my wife That girl's like somethin off a poster

Todd: What poster? [Poster of John Belushi in Animal House]

Iyaz: That girl is a dime they say

Todd: I don't know what that means.

Iyaz: That girl is the gun to my holster

Todd: That's a terrible metaphor. Terrible.

Iyaz: She's runnin through my mind all day, ay [Todd just facepalms and motions to move on] I can be your melody Oh girl I can write you a symphony

Todd: Yeah, no. I think you have proven that you actually cannot write a symphony.

Iyaz: Na na na Na na na na? Na na na... ...Na na! Shorty got me singing

Todd: [pause, then...] Oh! Oh, I know. Let's check his biography. You know, maybe there's something interesting about the guy personally. [Wikipedia page] Oh gee, thanks, Wikipedia... [AllMusic page] and AllMusic. My cup runneth over with information. Okay, the only interesting thing I found about this guy is that apparently he's the protege of Sean Kingston.

Clip of "Fire Burning" Sean Kingston: Somebody call 911

Todd (VO): Which doesn't make any sense. Sean Kingston is...19? And he looks like he's 11.

Sean: (Sean Kingston busts a move) That body is a masterpiece

The order is... ...super thing Hotter than the sun in the south of Spain Got me...

Todd: He shouldn't even have a pet goldfish, let alone a protege. And none of that answered the question I really wanted answered: [single cover of "Replay"] where did he get the stupid name?! Iyaz? That's not a name, that's an invalid Scrabble move. I don't even know if I'm pronouncing it right, really. [Final Jeopardy music plays over single] Eeyozz? Or Eye-uz? Iayz? I, Yaz? [Picture of the duo Yaz over Yaz song] Iyorz? [Picture of Eeyore]

Clip from Winnie the Pooh  Eeyore: Thanks for noticing me.

Todd: You're welcome, but I don't think I did. I haven't even said the obvious here, which is that this guy is a [Clip of Akon - "Don't Matter"]humungous Akon ripoff—might as well just call himself [Convicted album cover with "I" written over the "A"] Ikon! And really, this is the hot new trend right now? Vaguely foreign, reedy-voiced R&B singers? I...I'm sick of all of them. You know, like Iyaz and T-Pain, Akon, Jay Sean...L. Ron...QBob... I say just bring back the [clip of 'N Sync - "Bye Bye Bye"] boy bands, at least they were campy and ridiculous.

Todd (VO): And as for this song specifically, I have one last thing to add.

Todd: You know how when a pop singer gets to the chorus the first time, they're just supposed to sing it straight through.

Clip of Mariah Carey - "We Belong Together" Mariah: Who's gonna take your place? There ain't nobody better Oh baby, baby, we belong together

Todd: But by the final time, they're supposed to have, you know, really, really built up on it.

Mariah: Oh baby, baby, we belong together Baby!!!

Todd: Iyaz, however, chooses to exit the song the same way he entered it—blandly.

Iyaz: Got me singin' like Na na na na everyday It's like my iPod stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay-ay

''Todd is asleep

Closing tag song: Dave Clark Five - "Over and Over"

THE END This video is owned by me "Replay" is owned by Warner Music Group