Blockbuster Buster Transcript: Honest Review: Iron Man

(The Channel Awesome presents logo is shown and we see a clip of the movie where Pepper Potts is coming down the stairs to Tony Stark's lab as he tries to take off the suit.)

Tony Starl: Ow! Ah. ah. ah. ah. ah. ah. ah.

JARVIS: Oh, it is a tight fit sir.

Tony Stark: Hey - ah.

Jarvis: Sir the more you struggle, the more this is going to hurt.

Tony Stark Be gentle. It's my first time.

(We see a shot of Tony Stark getting the suit off.)

Tony Stark: I designed this to come off. So - Ow! Hey. I really should be able to - ahh.

JARVIS: Please try not to move, sir.

Pepper Potts: What's going on here?

Tony Stark: (He looks at Pepper.) Let's face it, this is not the worst thing you caught me doing.

(The trailer for The Avengers starts playing.)

ERod (vo): Greeting fanboys and fangirls, I'm ERod and I'm the Blockbuster Buster. Just in case you were unaware, I'm super-duper hyped over Joss Whedon's upcoming Avengers film. I can't freaking wait. My favorite director helming the first superhero team crossover film. The only thing better then this would be Scarlett Johansson in a cat suit. (She is in a cat suit in the film.)

ERod (vo): Life is good.

(Clips from various Marvel Studios movies are shown.)

ERod (vo): So, to commemorate this momentus occasion in comic book history, I'm going to review the 5 tie-in films that Marvel Studios produced in conjunction with Paramount. And we're going to start this Marvel madness with -

(The title of the movie is shown.)

ERod (vo): Iron Man

(Clips from the movie starts playing.)

ERod (vo): Now, as I pointed out before, we owe this awesome wave of quality comic book films to the Blade franchise which is responsible for making comic book movies cool. But even then, it seemed like only the more popular characters would get the big-budget treatment. Iron Man, to me, represents a new wave of comic book films in which lesser known characters are being adapted with the same level of care and effort as the ever popular Batman and Spiderman. I remember seeing the Iron Man trailer in the movie theater. The audience was cheering and screaming all the way through it until the very end when Tony Stark appears in his trademark red and gold armor. The whole room fell silent at the sight of a fully realized live-action armored avenger. As we sat there in awe, I knew in my mind that the silver age of comic book movies had begun.

The Plot
ERod (vo): Weapons manufacturer, genius and billionare playboy, Tony Stark lives it up. Until the day he is kidnapped by terrorists to manufacture weapons for them against his will. During his abduction, Tony ends up with a cluster of shrapnel dangerously close to his heart. The only way to stop the shrapnel from infecting his blood is with a magnet that was permanently grafted to his chest by a fellow captive scientist named Yinsen. Tony turns lemons into lemonade as modified the magnet with a mini arc-reactor which is so powerful, he can use it to power high-tech armor he uses to escape. Changed by the traumatic experience, Tony uses his genius and his new found disposition to fight his fellow warmongers as Iron Man.

Favorite Character
ERod (vo): Director Jon Favreau did an excellent job at choosing great actors to play these iconic characters. Jeff Bridges as Obadiah Stane is excellent. He is just as loveable as he is vindictive and cunning. Gwyneth Paltrow is the perfect Pepper Potts. She is a cool, sexy modern woman who would totally give in to being Tony's girlfriend if she wasn't busy being his babysitter.

Pepper Potts: I don't - I actually don't think that you could tie your shoes without me.

Tony Stark: I'd make it a week.

Pepper Potts: Really? What's your social security number?

Tony Stark: 5.

Pepper Potts: 5. Right.

Tony Stark: Right.

Pepper Potts: You're missing just a couple of digits.

Tony Stark: The other 8.

ERod (vo): Their banter is also perfect. I love how they interrupt and talk over each other. Every time you watch the movie, you can a new funny line you missed the first time.

(Pepper Potts is about to take a wire out of Tony Stark's chest.)

Pepper Potts: Is it safe?

Tony Stark: Yeah, it's like Operation. You just don't let it touch the socket wall or it goes beep Pepper Potts: What's operate - What do you mean Operation?

Tony Stark: It's just a game. Never mind.

ERod (vo): But my favorite character, and I apologize for the lack of originality, but it's Iron Man baby! I remember how people were actually snobbing Robert Downey JR when it was announced that he got the role of the womanizing, hard-drinking Tony Stark. And, a lot of people claimed that this was nothing more then stunt casting. I'm proud to say that I was not one of these people. I was extremely happy with the choice. They got a condecorated experienced actor to play a complex and multi-laired character and that's the way it's done, damn it! His performance as Iron Man has become such a trademark that Eric Loomis, the actor that provides Iron Man's voice in Avengers Earth Mightiest Heroes pretty much does a Robert Downey JR impression when playing Iron Man.

(A clip from the cartoon plays.)

James Rhodes (EMH): A giant robot? Really? You could have told me.

Tony Stark (EMH): I'd like to brag but that footage didn't capture how big the thing really was.

(Footage from the movie plays.)

ERod (vo): Whoah, hold on, we're halfway through the video. That means that its time for a STAN LEE CAMEO!

(Tony Stark is going to a party past a group of paparazzi.)

Girl fan: Hey Tony, remember me?

Tony Stark: Sure don't. Look great Hef.

(Hugh Hefner is played by Stan Lee. The applause is heard followed by a Stan Lee poster accompanied by the beginning of the 60s Spider-Man theme and Stan saying "Excelsior!" Footage from the film resumes.)

Favorite Line
ERod (vo): My favorite line is actually delivered by Tony's personal AI, JARVIS.

JARVIS: The render is complete.

Tony Stark: A little A little ostentatious, don't you think?

JARVIS: (His voice is dripping with sarcasm) What was I thinking? You're usually so discreet.

ERod: Man, I wish I can bust my boss' balls like that and still keep my job.

Favorite Scene
ERod (vo): My favorite scene comes when Iron Man is attacked by a couple of air force jets. I don't just like it because its a very eye-popping scene or the really well orchestrated mistaken identity sequence. I love this scene because this was the moment when I realized that I was watching a living comic. The idea of a superpowered being fighting some planes in mid-air is not your common Hollywood blockbuster scenario. This is the moment that reassured me that fanboys are slowly taking over the world. Now, let's see. What else do I want to talk about? Oh yeah, let's talk about B.A.L.S.

B.A.L.S. (Bonus Avengers Lead-in Scenes)
ERod (vo): All the interconnected Marvel films have these. The infamous easter egg usually located after the credits which makes the movie feel more like a comic book by having not a cliffhanger but more of a "to be continued" moment at the end. And, in own opinion, this movie has the best set of B.A.L.S. of them all. Check it out.

Nick Fury: "I am Iron Man." Think you're the only superhero in the world? Mr. Stark, you've become part of a bigger universe. You just don't know it yet.

Tony Stark : Who the hell are you?Unknown

Nick Fury: (He appears in in the light.) Nick Fury, director of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Tony Stark: Ah.

Nick Fury: I'm here to talk to you about the Avenger Initiative.

ERod (vo): Now, Samuel L Jackson has a very distinct voice. So, when he first speaks up in this scene, I instantly recognized him. However, the skeptical pessimistic side of me refused to believe that it was him. There was no way they would be awesome enough to get Sam Jackson himself to play Ultimate Nick Fury. The one and only comic book character that was modeled after him. So, when he stepped out of the shadow, I squealed like a 13-year old girl at a Jonas Brothers concert and then when he said he wanted to talk about the Avenger Initiative, all silly fanboy speculation was over. The Avengers were going to assemble.

Final Verdict
ERod (vo): This movie had an immense burden on its shoulders as it was the first produced by the newly formed Marvel Studios. There was a lot of pressure for it to perform well. And thankfully, it did as it set the bar for the next Marvel movies to come and still remains one of the best ones out of the bunch. A lot of you probably want to know how I feel them changing Jarvis from a mild mannered butler to computerized AI, I like the change. Keep in mind that this film was released the same summer as the king of the comic book movies, The Dark Knight. Whether you love it or hate it, it's still the highest grossing comic book movie of all time. Its popularity is undeniable. And thus, we have another movie that same summer that also featured an a seenly rich superhero who's friend turns into a supervillain who is smitten by a sexy independent lady he can never hook up with. And both have smart-ass butlers. So I can't blame them for trying to set themselves apart. Plus, Paul Bettany plays the voice of JARVIS and that's just awesome. (The Badass-a-tude Meter pops up.) 10 points on the Badass-a-tude Meter. Leave your uni-beams recharging and give it a watch. Armor up.