Swept Away

Todd: This is it. This is the last one.


 * Clip of Madonna interview on Today

Todd (VO): The last time that Madonna ever tried to be an actress. She has stated, for the record, that she would never be seen on camera trying to act again; and 13 years later, she has kept that promise. [Clip of behind-the-scenes featurette] The film that led to her decision was Swept Away—a vehicle for her and her new husband, British director Guy Ritchie.


 * Red carpet footage of the couple

Now, just like the last time she got married, this was a celebrity couple that, from the outside, didn't really make any sense at all. For one, this was a power couple with a serious power imbalance. Madonna was way more famous than Ritchie, who'd only made two films at that point. She was also ten years older than him and they were from two entirely different fields of showbiz, unless you consider Madonna part of the film world, which...

Todd: ...you should not.


 * Clips of Guy Ritchie interviews

Todd (VO): And just persona-wise, it was difficult to see what Madonna had in common with Ritchie. He was just this beer-drinking, UFC-watching dude-bro.

Todd: Or lad-bloke, as they say in his country.


 * Clips from Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch

Todd (VO): And while him making a movie with her was inevitable, his movies were violent comedies about London gangsters, so it was hard to imagine what kind of movie they could possibly make together.

Todd: What they eventually turned out...


 * Clip of trailer for the movie

Todd (VO): ...was a remake of a foreign arthouse movie, of all things. And despite, or perhaps because of the great amount of tabloid publicity attracted by the new couple, the movie bombed hard, making it basically the Gigli of 2002. [Posters of Shanghai Surprise and Swept Away] Yes, she's made two Giglis in her life. The reception was so awful that Madonna decided that enough was enough. This is the one that was so bad that, after more than 15 years of bad movies, she decided to finally, finally give it up.

Todd: So how bad it is? Well, let's watch.

Cinemadonna intro

Transcript in progress