The Time (Dirty Bit)

(Todd plays "(I've Had) The Time of My Life" on his keyboard. Text appears reading: "THE BLACK EYED PEAS - THE TIME (DIRTY BIT)" A pop song review)

Todd: The Black Eyed Peas. (crowd boos) Yeah, I know, I know. You guys remember I said I liked some of their songs, right?

The Black Eyed Peas playing "Pump It" on the Super Bowl XLV half-time show

Todd (VO): As I recorded this, the Black Eyed Peas are currently suffering the most ridicule imaginable suffered ever after that atomic disaster of a performance in the Super Bowl half-time show. But... I'm really sorry guys, but I cannot say the Black Eyed Peas are anywhere near the worst thing to ever happen to pop music, like a lot of people do.

Todd: In fact, I get a little annoyed when anyone describes them as such. Trust a guy who knows. There are many, many worse acts than the Black Eyed Peas. They're silly, and not particularly dignified, but they're good in creating strong catchy hooks as they always have been.

Clip of the Black Eyed Peas' early single "Joints & Jam"

Todd (VO): Part of the reason they get as much flack as they do is because they started out as cool respectable rappers before becoming pop sell outs. You know, that's true, but... I listened to their work when they were "cool and respectable" and honestly, while I like it more than their newer stuff, I don't really hear a lot lyrically that don't fit their current work. They more used a lot more hammered organ and less electronica back then, it's not all that different. And considering what kind of work they do do now, their old stuff kinda looks like a pose.

Todd: So, I don't know, I can't find on my heart to hate them completely. *sighs* That said...

Super Bowl show, "Boom Boom Pow" is played

Todd (VO): One second of "Boom Boom Pow" will make any defense I can muster for them die in my throat. The fact is that even in the songs I like by them, their ability to create hooks is brought down by their complete inability to put together any kind of decent lyrics. At best the lyrics are generic enough they don't get in the way of the beat... but at worse... Video for "My Humps" Todd (VO): Oh, God in heaven. The gap between their good stuff and their bad stuff is wider than the Grand Canyon. When they're good, they're pretty good. When they're bad, they're unlistenable! Sometimes I feel like they're engaged in a stupid contest with each other. image of MC Skat Kat MC Skat Kat would be embarrased to put stuff like this on record.

Todd: And that brings to their latest hit single [cover of single]"The Time (Dirty Bit)", from their latest album, [cover of album]the vaguely threateningly titled The Beginning. Beginning of what? I don't know. If I had to guess, I'd sat it's the beginning of their most dedicated apologist throwing their hands and giving up. Because... I'm just gonna cut the chase on this one: "The Time" is quite possibly the Black Eyed Peas' worst song. Worst than "Imma Be". Worst than "My Humps". I do not make th at statement lightly. I know what I'm saying. Don't believe me? Take a listen.

Video for "The Time (Dirty Bit) Modulated voice: (This is international, Big mega radio smasher)

Todd: Yeah, I don't know what any of that meant, but this song will make you want to smash your radio! *sigh* Those of you who don't know what's coming, I wish I could see your faces.

Will.I.am:I've had the time of my life And I never felt this way before And I swear, this is true [Todd facepalms] And I owe it all to you Fergie:I've had the time of my life... Todd (VO): For those of you not familiar with something we call the 1980s, this is sampled from [cut to video for...]"(I've Had) The Time of My Life", the 1987 hit song from the movie Dirty Dancing, performed by former Righteous Brother Bill Medley and professional duet machine Jennifer Warnes.

Todd: *sighs* And right away, we're nbe starting on the wrong foot as far as I'm concerned, I hate everything about Dirty Dancing.

Footage from Dirty Dancing Todd (VO): Maybe it's because of an old girlfriend who made me watch this a few dozen too many times, but yeah, I hate this genuinely stupid ass movie. The abysmal dialogue... Patrick Swayze: Nobody puts Baby in a corner TRANSCRIPT IN PROGRESS

<!--- Todd (singing over Fergie): Now I've had the time of my life, No, I've never felt like this before, Yes I swear it's the truth, And I owe it all to you, I've been waiting for so long

beat starts changing to a completely different one Will.i.am: Dirty bit! Dirty bit!

Todd: The Frog says... will.i.am: Dirty bit!

will. i. am: I don't wanna take no pictures, I just wanna take some shots! Todd: [cocks gun] That can be arranged.

[All] 'Cause I'm, having A good, time, with you

Todd: Someone must have realized this sounded like digital vomit. Todd: Oh, I guess the video director did. Nice subtle commentary there, Mr. Director, well played.
 * Woman in the music video vomits out a stream of pixels*

[Apl.de.ap] All-all these girls, they like my swagger They calling me Mick Jagger I be rolling like a Stone Jet-setter, jet-lagger We ain't messing with no maggots Messing with the baddest

Ladies (download you app) I'm the party application Rocking just like that

Todd: Did they just fire him and not have the guts to tell him about it?