Off to Find Cyborg

Title cards: "Channel Awesome Wiki presents" "Off To Find Cyborg, traveling from Gensokyo to New York"

Reimu: This is minute 1 of going to find Cyborg. I am hyped. Are you hyped, nakayoshi? Reisen gives the thumbs up Reimu: We are both hyped.

Placecard: Later... Reimu: My Hijiri...we have been on the road for so. Long. I think I'm going to go batshit crazy in a few seconds, I mean I am going to crack, just looking at all the lines go by and all the signs and all these advertisements for fireworks! It's insane! It's totally insane! I mean, Byakuren nakayoshi, how long have we been on the road? Reisen: Uh...1 hour, 30 minutes. Reimu looks skeptical, Reisen nods her head, confirming she's both right and telling the truth Reimu: ...I'M GONNA DIE!

Placecard: 2 Hours Later Reimu: You know I'm gonna say the nice thing about this is that, you know, I personally would not be able to get out of Gensokyo, you know I can't even find my way out of my own house, but my friend here is just so good and resourceful that, you know, she's really good directions and you know, all that stuff so- Reisen: Yeah, I'll get us there. Reimu: So you know, just special shout-out to her, special thanks, because without her, I actually wouldn't be able to get there at all, this is actually really cool. Reisen: Damn straight. Reimu: Damn straight.

Placecard: 3 hours later* (*Note: Whenever a placecard says "X Hours Later," it is not that many hours since the last "scene," but from the beginning of the trip; this is confusing, but it becomes apparent part way through the video when the placecards say many hours have passed, but the girls are wearing the same outfits and it is still daytime)

Reimu: Alright, so we're in Ca-li-for-nyuh…I don't know how that happened. If you don't believe me take a look, there's Disneyland. You know, cause only California has Disneyland. And we're gonna try to figure out just how the hell this happened. I'm very angry at my friend. Cut to them driving Reimu: So yeah, what the hell are we doing in California?

Reisen: A slight detour, everything's fine. Just, just great.

Reimu: Except for the fact that we're in California!

Reisen: Well, haven't you ever wanted to see the…Disneyland State?

Reimu: Is that what this...it's just really known for Disneyland?

Reisen: I don't, I don't know what...California is known for Japanese-Americans, Universal Studios Hollywood, and, um, yeah, Disneyland.

Reimu: And Six Flags Magic Mountain which has Justice League: Battle for Metropolis; Cyborg is in that…

Placecard: 4 hours later

Reimu: Alright, we've been on this road for a couple miles, and it's reduced down to one lane, there's all these cones, but there's no construction, there's no nothing, it's just one lane. Look, the same shit's going on over there.

Reisen: Oh it's been more than that, this has been 6 miles now.

Reimu: 6 miles of no construction, just keeping us in one lane.

Reisen: It's for the greater good!

Reimu: I think they're just doing it to piss us off, I think they just got high and like "You know what, we should just reduce it all to one lane, that would be funny, and no reason, everybody will do it, cause they have to!" Oh my Byakuren, there it is, actual construction! What are they doing, what are they doing, they're...they're doing nothing, they're doing nothing! What, what is that guy doing, they're just taking up the road! And now we go back to the 2 lane, that was crazy! Those miles and miles of just two trucks bullshit!

Reisen: Actually, 10 miles to be exact.

Reimu: 10 miles, just two bangarang trucks, we've been behind this stupid...thing, and it's been going slow. From Quebec? FUCK QUEBEC! Fuck it! Fuck construction!

Reisen: I think that's fu-shlay Quebec or something.

Reimu: Fuck Quebec Prowlers!

Placecard: 5 Hours Later Reimu: God I'm so bored. (to Reisen) Say something, dammit! …I thought you were keeping me in good conversation, just say something!

Reisen: I'm driving!

Reimu: Ooh, she's driving, that's all the conversation I get here, he's driving! Whoop-dee-fuckin'-do! You know, why don't you sing a song, let's sing a song. Let's sing a little IOSYS, how about that. We are going to sing Touhou Otome Bayashi right now, Marisa Stole the Precious Thing, you start.

Reisen: Uh...no we're not.

Reimu: You start.

Reisen: ...no.

''Placecard: 6 Hours Later, they are both singing Marisa Stole the Precious Thing, but part way through, a truck horn goes off and Reisen grabs the wheel desperately Placecard: 7 Hours Later, they are both humming “Enter Cyborg" from the Justice League score. Placecard: 8 Hours Later, They're singing the end of the Justice League score. Placecard: 9 Hours Later'' Reimu: Well we already sung every song we know, hummed every tune we know, done everything that we can think about doing...it's just so BORING! The road's boring, the trees are boring, (to Reisen) you're boring! You are so boring! Do something, say something, GOD, just something! (Reisen sighs) Ooh, she gasped! She gasped! No no, sighed, that's even better! Sighed, that's like a gasp, backwards! Ooh, unbefuckinglievable! DO SOMETHING YA FUCKING MORON!

Placecard: Later...; Reisen is walking down the highway, alone, and Reimu is following her with the camera Reimu: Reisen? I'm sorry! (Reisen flips her off with both hands) That's not called for! Oh come on Reisen, cut a girl a break, I didn't know any better! Oh come on man, I just, I wasn't thinking! Hey, uh, what if I drove the rest of the way? Reisen stops and turns around

Placecard: 10 Hours Later; Reimu is now driving, Reisen is filming Reimu: There's Cedar Point. The largest roller coasters outside of Six Flags. BOO-YAH! Been to Cedar Point lately? Reisen: No. Top Thrill Dragster got boring after the fiftieth time. Reimu: ...would it...kill you to say something? Reisen: I did. Reimu: "No." That's the first thing I've heard you say in the last 4 hours. That's a FOUNTAIN of conversation, that's a geyser. Whoa, mama, stand back. ...shit. (imitating Cyborg) You know I'm sittin' here drivin', doin' all the drivin', drivin' all the way from Gensokyo, tryin' to keep our hopes up, fight the boredom, you can't say one fuckin' thing to start a conversation? Fuck it man, I don't have to talk either. Let's see how you like it. Just total fuckin' silence. (Normal voice) Two can play at that game, wise girl. See if you like it. ...total silence

. Placecard: 11 Hours Later Reimu: If I was to kill you, and bury your body...is there any particular place that you would wanna be buried? You know, like a religious thing, I mean are there any, uh, certain areas that you need to be buried in or shouldn't be buried in, like a Jewish thing or...I don't know. Are you Jewish?

Reisen: ...we were baptised Shinto.

Reimu: Does that mean I'm not Jewish?

Reisen: No...

Reimu: Good.

Placecard: 12 Hours Later Reimu: HAHAHA, New York, New-Byakuren this better be FUCKING worth it-York! HOO! Okay, apparently in New York they have some very strange roadsigns. They show the signs as she says them Reimu: (mockingly) Don't tailgate! Beware of aggressive drivers! Slow down save a life! Careful, Bridge may be icy. (normal voice) When did New York turn into my mother? Quick cut to them on the highway, with white circles on the road Reimu: They actually have these spaces so you can keep one car-length behind. It looks like I'm playing Pac-Man. Another cut, they are following a trailer with statues of a horse, an eagle, and an Empire State Building Reimu: New York's fucked up.

Placecard: Cyborg Central Reimu: I come in, at the filming studio, and say, "Have you decided to do-" this'll save us time, this'll save you having to do another video challenging me to a fight, it's just me saying, like, you know, "Have you decided to give into my advances?" And you say, "Yes, I'm gonna do-" you know, whatever you choose, and then you say, "Now are you gonna fight me?" I'm like, "No I'm not fighting you, that's your department!" Just saying, do you have the Justice League soundtrack? I'm sure you do.

Cyborg (Ray Fisher): Yeah.

Reimu: Okay, let's do "Yeah, bring it on!" And they play "Enter Cyborg," like we get ready to fight and we go, we just have a silly slo-mo fight. You know, like we can even do the sound effects. (she mimics slo-mo sound effects)

Cyborg: Yeah.

Reimu: You know, you find me, and then at the end I say, "Alright alright, I'll fight you for real. But mark my words; this isn't over, hahahahaha!" and then ask like how to get back on the highway or something.

Zack Snyder: That's how it's gonna be, it'll be like watching the new Cyborg movie.

Cyborg: Yeah, "my Mother Box's outside."

Zack Snyder: You should say that!

Reimu: That's what we'll say, "my Mother Box's outside."

Zack Snyder: Let's do it! Right now, right here! My Mother Box's outside.

Cut to later

Cyborg: How do you even think I'm sexy, I mean, 90% of my body is metallic...

Reimu: Because you're black.

Cyborg: And you're Shinto...

Reimu: I don't know, blame my younger self, she found random people hot...

Cyborg: And I just stuck with you? Short clip of Reimu and Cyborg meeting the employees of the filming studio, including Deborah Snyder, and then slipping back into character Reimu: You're familiar with Rocko's Modern Life? Because, the episode "The Good, The Bad, and The Wallaby"... Cyborg: Uh, I dunno... Reimu: Yeah, well we all- well I'll put the episode on. She puts on The Good, The Bad, and The Wallaby Reimu: Basically I had a crush on that blue cowboy dog guy before having a crush on you, Cyborg. Cyborg: ...dude, what the fu-

Later, Reimu and Reisen are watching a scene from Justice League along with Cyborg Reisen: You see how it's got the multiple shots? I can literally walk between you guys, cause you can reedit this however you want, yeah I can just train the camera on your eyes, you know on your faces, you can gimme the looks, and I can walk to the next person, the whole time you three are still basically standing in the triangle.

Cyborg: Okay, alright.

Cut to some scenes of everyone in the studio after the fight, where they are just talking to the fans

Reimu: I'm eating his cake! ...I'm trying to eat his cake. Even his cake is defeating me. (she finally gets some) THAT'S good victory. Ending Title Card: Owari