Reimu's Top 7 Scariest Moments

Reimu: Hello, I'm Reimu Hakurei. A miko who remembers it, because you don't. You know, you can be too old for a lot of things, but you're never too old to be afraid. And our childhoods proved it! We had to put up with Giygas and Ursula and Sonic.exe and stuff when we were growing up. So I've decided to take a look back at the Top 11 Scariest Moments of all time. Why Top 7? Because it's my opinions. So get ready to cover your eyes and hide under the couch. THIS is the Top 7 Scariest Moments.

List begins with Pokemon Drought Music and Flandre's evil laugh in the background; then, footage of The Prince of Egypt

Reimu (voiceover): Number 7--the holographic nightmare from The Prince of Egypt. This movie was actually pretty damn sorry to begin with, but it reaches it's peak when Moses has a nightmare about being born a slave.

Reimu (voiceover): We are forced to see mothers being abused as their babies are forced away from them and fed to the crocodiles. Every creepy sound you can imagine pops up here: the wailing mothers, and my Byakuren, the absolutely SPINE-CHILLING screams of babies as they're taken from their mothers...

Reimu: Man, if I was in that situation, even if we got up to the part with him falling into a crocodile's mouth, I'd be like, "Dude, what the fuck are wrong with these people?" I always thought to myself, "This scene will hit even harder after I grow up." Well, I'm grown up now...AND IT HITS ME SO FUCKNG HARD! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Interlude, footage of Rihanna's Bitch Better Have My Money

Reimu (voiceover): Number 6--the BBHMM video by Rihanna. Now I know what you're thinking: How can a Rihanna music video possibly be even the least bit scary? Well, I'm glad you asked. There's an especially gay video where she smokes, humiliates a woman, and shoots stuff. The video itself is pretty lame, when all of the sudden, THIS happens.

Man tied up to chair, holographic text flashing

Reimu: Whoa whoa whoa....

Rihanna onscreen, covered in blood

Reimu (voiceover): Holy FUCK, what is that? It looks like something Carrie would shit out.

Reimu (voiceover): I always said if you listen to modern American music long enough, you'll see the face of the devil...I'm starting to think that's true.

Rihanna's bloody face is shown directly to the camera

Reimu: AAAAAAAAAAH!

Interlude, then footage from Greek Mythology for Students

Reimu (voiceover): Number 5--Medusa from Greek Mythology for Students. Even though GMfS was as badly produced as The Emoji Movie, it was filled with ghastly images that made students jump joyfully out of their desks, the creepiest scene being when Medusa is hissing and screaming at Perseus.

(We see Medusa making hissing noises and some rather disturbing screams)

Reimu (voiceover): She was wrinkly, green, creepy, and made us all shit ourselves with fear. This Medusa had us all rattling under the covers.

Medusa's red sisters charge at Perseus, also hissing and screaming

Reimu: AH! THERE'S THREE OF THEM?!?!

Interlude, footage from I Spit on your Grave 1 and I Spit on your Grave 2

Reimu (voiceover): Number 4--I Spit on your Grave. Just...just I Spit on your Grave.. Everything about these films had creepy written all over it. And when the heroine's job requires her to get revenge on the rapists who did her wrong, chances are, you're gonna see some scary stuff. The two scariest scenes in particular are when Jennifer Hills and Kate, in their respective installments, are raped.

Shows a scene of a man raping Jennifer as she screams in agony

Reimu (voiceover): And the scene where they get revenge. The shots of them staring into the camera after getting raped are already pretty scary. Now imagine them reaching Joker levels of creepy talk while inflicting all sorts of distressing torture on their rapists, and you've got yourself a pretty nasty image. Whichever scenes scare you the most, the I Spit on your Grave movies definitely rate a 9.5 on the Scary Shit-o-meter.

Jennifer creepily smiles into the camera

Reimu: AAAAAAAAAH!

Interlude, footage from Asian School Girls

Reimu (voiceover): Number 3--The rape scene from Asian School Girls. Good GOD, were Steve and Wes and their gang rapist pigs. When your parents said "stay away from strangers who offer you a visit," these were probably the people they were talking about.

Steve: We have this party going on at our house...

Reimu (voiceover): He embodied everything that women imagined charming men looked like.But then they get to the hotel, and their true colors are revealed.

Shot of Hannah bound and gagged, being raped as she screams in terror

Reimu shivers in disgust

Reimu (voiceover): Whatever reason the scene creeps you out, they're some false alarms. And my guess is, they'll be acting in a horror movie sometime soon.

Cuts are shown on the raped women's legs

Reimu: AAAH!

Interlude, footage from Toy Story 3

Reimu (voiceover): Number 2--The Cymbal Monkey from Toy Story 3. This is an awesome movie whether you're a kid or an adult. However, there's one scene that just comes out of nowhere. It involves a cymbal monkey toy whom Woody and Slinky approach.

The cymbal monkey abruptly turns it's head many degress, screeching

Reimu (voiceover): WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! I mean, it just comes out of nowhere and catches everybody off guard, even the adults Can we cut to a less frightening part of the movie?

The incinerator scene...

Reimu: AAAAAAAH!

Interlude, footage from Irreversible

Reimu: And the Number 1 Scariest Moment is--The Rape Scene, from Irreversible. With Alex's muffled cries for help, the rapist's offensive remarks, and the damn DURATION, the Rape Scene was one of the scariest images that no person should ever have to see. If you haven't seen this movie, you should. It's pretty good by horror standards. It has great atmosphere, good characters, and it's the only film you'll EVER see told backwards. Seriously.

(Actually, I'm pretty sure there was another film told in reverse)

Tapeworm: I'm gonna blast your asshole!

Reimu (voiceover): And if that's not scary enough for you, Monica's muffled screams for help surely are. The entire scene focuses on one shot of poor Monica being raped and beaten. It's the one psychological horror scene that gets our blood boiling, even to this day.

Reimu: In fact, it still continues to scare the shit out of me, even to this day. In fact, I usually end up running out of the room screaming, I'm so terrified, I don't even get to finish the rest of the scene. But not today. Today, I'm gonna stand up for myself, gonna confront my fears, and I am gonna watch this scene all...the way...through.

The scene begins

Reimu: There's that knife threat to Alex... There they go, on the ground... Here it comes...

Tapeworm raping Alex as she cries in agony; cut back to Reimu's chair, spinning around, empty