Sailor Moon

(After the opening for the show, we get a scientist (played by Malcolm Ray) writing on a whiteboard while lightning thunder and lightning crash)

Nostalgia Critic: (quickly) Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. (The doctor giggles) Right now I'm in the laboratory of Dr. Hack, the master of formulas. Not scientific formulas, not mathematical formulas, but television formulas. (The doctor laughs) Any TV show that has a formula that's been repeated over and over and over, he's the guy that came up with it. Watch this. (He turns to the doctor) Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.

Dr. Hack: Bland teens fight Putty Patrol, then monster, then giant monster in giant robot. (as he says this, his assistant (Rachel Tietz) holds up a drawing of teenagers + monster = Power Rangers)

NC: Home Improvement.

Hack: Toolman screws up, neighbor gives advice, Toolman gets advice wrong, Toolman gets forgiven anyway. (Tim Allen + Neighbor = Tool Time)

NC: Scooby-Doo.

Hack: It's always the person in the opening you forgot about. (Cop + Vampire = Scooby saying "Got Ra!")

NC: Inspector Gadget, Captain Planet, Everyone Loves Raymond.

Hack: Everybody actually hates Raymond. He should've divorced that bitch and her family a long time ago. (Raymond going "Nyeeeah")

NC: If it's a formula that's gotten more and more popular that gets popular through its repetition, he's thought of it. And right now, I've hired him to think of an idea so that I can lazily repeat it over and over again and make money beyond my wildest dreams.

Hack: Eureka! Eureka!

Assistant: What?

Hack: Oh, there you are, Eureka. Get ready to jot down my latest formula.

NC: You got it?

Hack: Yes, and it's going to make us millions.

NC: Well that's wonderful. Let's hear it!

Hack: Fourteen-year old girl acts stupid, uses magical powers to look slutty and stupid, (NC's smile starts to fade) talking cat tells her how to fight crime cause she's so stupid, surrounds herself with smarter girls that make her look even more stupid--

NC: That's Sailor Moon.

Hack: What?

NC: The formula you're describing, it's Sailor Moon.

Hack: (He looks at the whiteboard, then back to NC) Do they have a villain that keeps attacking the same town?

NC: Yes.

Hack: Do they have a tedious romance with a magic boyfriend?

NC: (getting more annoyed) Yes.

Hack: Do they repeat the same animation?

NC: Worse than Hanna-Barbera!

Hack: And it was successful?

NC: It's one of the most popular animes of all time!

Hack: Hmm...Eureka? (Sailor + Moon = $) Oh dear lord. Well this is embarrassing. Um...well how about this one; three obnoxiously perfect girls are raised by three obnoxiously perfect men in a house in San Francisco...and not one of them is gay.

(NC leaves and heads to his desk)

NC: Well, while we're on the subject, why was something as repetitive as Sailor Moon so successful?