The Top Ten Best Hit Songs of 2011

Todd plays "On the Floor" by Jennifer Lopez and Pitbull on his piano.

THE TOP TEN BEST HIT SONGS OF 2011 A year-end review

Todd: 2011 has been...a strange year.

Montage of clips from The Nostalgia Chick's reviews of Grease 2 and When Harry Met Sally... vs. Sleepless in Seattle; Suburban Knights ; Obscurus Lupa punching him; and Top Ten Best Hit Songs of 2010

Todd (VO): A strange year for me personally, at least. Let's see, I've been abducted several times, I fought for the fate of the world, I was punched in the face with great frequency, I drank way too much, and weirdest of all, ...

Todd: ...I started facing to the left. Bizarre, I know.

''Video for Katy Perry - "ET" Katy Perry: Different DNA

Todd (VO): But it was also a strange year for pop music. In 2010, [clip of Flo Rida - "Club Can't Handle Me"] the songs of the year were all painfully samey-sounding; it was a really, really bad year for Billboard. [Clip of Lil Wayne - "How to Love"] 2011 was a lot different. It's one of those years where I can feel things changing, although into what, I have no idea.

Todd: Something strange is happening. Just...just chew on this for a second—this was the year "Friday" hit.

Video for Rebecca Black - "Friday" Rebecca Black: Friday, Friday

Todd (VO): This was the year a badly made, third-rate music video on YouTube became a more famous and popular song than most of the biggest hits of the year. Just...think about that.

Todd: But the strangeness isn't really a bad thing, it's a good thing. There were, of course, still plenty of awful things on the radio, but the stuff that was good was much better. And out of the three years I've looked at all the overplayed songs on the radio and picked my favorites, this year is probably the least personally humiliating. Hooray! Now I'm excited, so let's just get down to it. I'm counting down...

Video for DJ Earworm- "United State of Pop 2011", which serves as the interlude through the countdown

Todd (VO): The Top 10 Best Hit Songs of 2011! #10.

Video for...hold on...intercut with Todd dancing in his chair Usher: If you really want more, scream it out louder If you on the floor, bring out the fire And light it up, take it up higher Gonna push it to the limit, give it more.

Todd: Awesome!

#10. Usher - "More (Remix)" Usher: If you really want more, scream it out louder If you on the floor, bring out the fire

Todd: Ah, Usher—the women want him, and the men want him. [correcting] Want to be him...the men want to be him, I mean.

Usher: ...your hands, I'm in the zone, tight

Todd (VO): Now last year, I put "DJ Got Us Falling in Love" on my Top Ten and gave it the [brief clip from last year] Deep Lyrical Analysis treatment, and I don't think I'll be doing that for "More".

Todd: "More" is just...not something you have to think about very hard, you know? I mean, you just feel it, man! Usher tells you what to do and you do it! He tells you to scream, you scream!

Usher: If you really want more, scream it out louder

Todd: More!

Clip from Oliver!  Mr. Bumble: More?!?!?!

Todd: MORE!!!!

Clip from the "Leave Britney Alone" video Chris Crocker: More, more, more, more, more!

Usher: I'm a beast, I'm an animal

Todd (VO): I'm not even sure I would call this dance music, man; this is workout music—gets the blood pumping, you know.

Todd: Gets the people going! [Clip of Todd sitting at computer eating Wendy's fries.]

Usher: Oh-oh!

Todd (VO): Now like I said, this isn't a song that exactly broached thought, but I think it's earned its spot as one of Usher's most popular dance tracks. Also thank producer [side-by-side pictures of...] RedOne, who's half the reason you know who Lady Gaga is at all. That man needs more work.

Usher: If you really want more, scream it out louder

Todd: [with the horns] Kick-ass!

Usher: Push it to the limit, give it more.

Interlude

Todd (VO): #9.

Video for Lil Wayne - "Lollipop" Lil Wayne: Lil' mama had a swag like mine

Todd (VO): They say the boss of a company dictates its culture, and Lil Wayne proved it when he started his own label, Young Money, because [clip from Young Money - "BedRock"] his two most successful proteges, Drake and Nicki Minaj, are just like their mentor in that they're incredibly uneven.

Nicki Minaj: And I just be coming off the top as bestest Drake: Shake and bake, Ricky Bobby

Todd (VO): I root for the both of them, but...I don't know. [Clip from "Headlines"] Drake gets less and less interesting the more he brags about how great he is.

Drake: I ain't even gotta say it. That's just something they know They know, they know, they know

Todd: But do they care, Drake, is the question.

Video for "Your Love"

Todd (VO): Nicki, meanwhile, nearly squandered two years worth of buzz as a ferocious fire-spitter with a baffling and endless string of soft, mid-tempo ballads. Okay, yeah, fine, [clip of "Super Bass"] after a good eight months of being pummeled by it, I think I finally sorta like "Super Bass"...or...

Todd: "Super Bass"?

Nicki: Boom, badoom, boom bass? He got that super bass

Todd: I'm hearing "Super Bass". [Picture of Superman with a bass head pasted on] Whatever. In any case, I still don't think sugar pop is a good genre for Nicki's dead-eyed, lunatic Barbie schtick. I am frustrated with the both of them. But Nicki did have one song that I embraced wholeheartedly—a soft, mid-tempo ballad in which Drake brags about how great he is. [He shrugs]

#9. Nicki Minaj ft. Drake - "Moment 4 Life" Nicki: I wish that I could have this moment For life, for life, for life

Todd: Now this isn't Nicki's best showcase, but I do appreciate that Nicki devolves into unrelated weirdness less than she usually does...for the most part.

In the video, Nicki's fairy godmother (also played by Nicki) points her wand at her and...yells? Nicki: You are crazy, godmother

Todd: What were we talking about?

Nicki: In this very moment I'm king

Todd (VO): But while this is technically a Nicki Minaj song, I consider it more Drake's.

Drake: Fuck it, me and Nicki nick gettin married today And all the bitches that be hating can catch the bouquet

Todd (VO): "I wish that I could have this moment for life" is a very Drake sentiment. He always seems very aware that fame has an expiration date.

Clips of DJ Khaled ft. Drake - "I'm on One"... Drake: But get it while you here boy Cause all that hype don’t feel the same next year boy

...and "Over" Drake: I'm living life right now man and this what I'm do 'til it's over

Todd: I really think Drake worries about waking up one morning working at Burger King. ''[picture of Drake's head pasted on a cook] You the, you the best. You the, you the best.''

Nicki: This is my moment I waited all my...

Todd (VO): But of Drake and Nicki's two million combined victory lap celebrations, this is the only one that really stuck with me. When I'm feeling awesome about who I am and what I'm doing, [another clip with fries] "Moment 4 Life" is what I feel like listening to. I would have to stretch to say that this is either's best work, but it hits me surprisingly hard nonetheless.

Todd: It's a good song.

Nicki: I could have this moment Alive, alive, alive

Interlude

Todd (VO): #8.

Footage from 51st Grammy Awards - Feb. 8, 2009 Kanye West: Thank you. And now the award for Best New Artist Todd (watching on TV): Pffff, "Best New Artist". These are always lame. They always go to some flash-in-the-pan who's already peaked and we'll never be hearing from again. Kanye: And the Grammy goes to...Adele. Todd: Oh, come on! Seriously?! Another overrated retro-soul jazz singer? I thought we learned our lesson from Norah Jones. We already have an Amy Winehouse, and she's way more interesting than whoever this is. I guarantee we are never hearing from this person ever again.

Back at piano, Todd is playing the melody of...

Todd: Yeah, see, this is why my friends call me Nostradamus.

#8. Adele - Someone Like You Adele: Never mind, I'll find someone like you I wish nothing but the best for you too

Todd (VO): So this artist I dismissed as an overrated, critic-pandering wannabe two years ago is now the biggest pop star in the world, and it works for me. I said in my Top Ten Worst video that "white chick with piano" songs usually suck, but "Someone Like You" gets everything right in the way that [clip of...] "Jar of Hearts" got it all utterly wrong.

Todd: The song's middle accompaniment wasn't chosen to try and lend depth to crappy lyrics; it's like this because it's the right choice, because Adele had the pipes and the writing to actually back it up.

Adele: That you found a girl and you're married now

Todd (VO): "Someone Like You" comes at the end of a very angry album, and Adele said she wrote it because after destroying this ex-boyfriend she had in song after song on that album, she had to do something more sympathetic to the guy.

Todd: And indeed, it's not the guy that comes off badly here.

Adele: Old friend, why are you so shy?

Todd: Gee, why would a married man getting a visit from an ex-girlfriend who has "not over it" written all over her face feel awkward and uncomfortable? Let's...let's think hard about this. Maybe he's coming down with the flu.

Adele: I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited

Todd (VO): But that's not a flaw, that's a feature. [Clips of...] "You Oughta Know" and ["Irreplacable"] a lot of Beyonce's songs don't really work for me because they're very simple revenge fantasies.

Beyonce: Everything you own in the box to the left

Todd (VO): Yep, told that dick!

Beyonce: Replacing you is so easy

Todd (VO): It is easy. It's all very easy.

Todd: "Someone Like You" isn't easy, it's complex...you plebeians.

Todd (VO): Now I really love the way this song shifts between being passive-aggressive and regular-aggressive and genuine regret.

Adele: Never mind, I'll find someone like you

Todd: Now I don't mind that pop music is often shallow, and I don't necessarily buy that a soft piano ballad is necessarily any deeper, but "Someone Like You"...take my word for it, guys. This is the real deal.

Adele: Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead

Interlude

Todd (VO): #7.

Video for...

Todd: Finally, a song that speaks to me and my kind—the homocidally unfashionable. [whistles to...]

#7. Foster the People - "Pumped Up Kicks" Foster the People: All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better run, better run, outrun my gun.

Todd: In a year full of strange hit songs, this was the strangest. Not within the context of indie rock, of course. There's plenty of songs like this drifting around the indie scene, but...

Clips of Peter Bjorn and John - "Young Folks"...

Todd (VO): ...I didn't see Peter Bjorn and John, ["Time to Pretend" by...] or MGMT, or ["The Reeling" by...] Passion Pit, or ["1901" by...] Phoenix sharing airtime with Rihanna. And I couldn't honestly say that Foster the People are better than any of those bands, but I can't really dismiss them either. [Clip of "Animal"] Unlike Neon Trees, the previous year's winner of the fluke indie hit sweepstakes, [clip of "Helena Beat"] Foster the People actually proved with subsequent singles that they were the genuine article.

Foster: Robert's got a quick hand

Todd: I'm a little lost trying to figure out what the success of Foster the People means. So what are they, a new...

Clips of "American Idiot" by...

Todd (VO): Green Day, a band who built upon the work of others to become the most popular and enduring band of their genre? ["Mr. Brightside" by...] Just another The Killers, a one-album wonder who are gonna drain their momentum in upcoming years? ["Smells Like Teen Spirit" by...] The new Nirvana, bringing the rock revolution to the masses?!

Todd: Yeah, probably not that last one, although "Pumped Up Kicks" does seem to match the sentiment of "load up on guns and bring your friends" pretty well.

Todd (VO): Yeah, this song was controversial because it is kind of possibly maybe about kids killing other kids?

Foster: All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better run, better run, faster than my bullet.

Todd: But it's so weirdly cheery and fun, I don't really see any angry bullied trench coat kids coming to this for solace. And besides...

Todd (VO): ...my interpretation of the song is that it's not really about a school shooting; it's about some dumbass kid walking around with his dad's gun because he thinks it looks cool.

Todd: It's...it's not gonna end well. [Band whistles] So...desperately needed crossover hit, or watered-down sellout of actual indie rock? Don't care, I love it. I'm looking forward to more from you, Foster the People. Don't screw it up.

Foster: ...faster than my bullet

Interlude

Todd (VO): #6.

Video of Modest Mouse - "Float On"

Todd (VO): "Float On" by Modest Mouse pretty much ruled my life for a number of years. See, here's me [clip of...] singing it at MAGfest a couple of years ago.

Todd (playing Rock Band): I backed my car into a cop car the other day

Todd (VO): Hell, yeah.

Todd: Did you know that there's a pop song out there that samples this song? [pause] Well, you do now.

#6. Lupe Fiasco - "The Show Goes On" Lupe Fiasco: Alright, already the show goes on All night, till the morning we dream so long

Todd: If just any schmo off the street sampled one of my favorite songs, I would've thrown a fit. But thank God it was one of the more impressive and intelligent rappers out there.

Lupe: One in the air for the people that ain’t here Two in the air for the father that’s there

Todd (VO): For me, this was a win-win, two great tastes that taste great together. I mean, I love "Float On" and I love Lupe Fiasco.

Todd: Which is different from the Lupa fiasco, which I...I really don't like talking about.

Cut to Todd at computer Todd: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm sorry, I'm sorry,  I'm sorry,  I'm sorry,  I'm sorry,  I'm sorry... Obscurus Lupa: Why?! What am I gonna do with all these geese? Todd: Did...did you at least like the thing I did on the ceiling? Obscurus Lupa: No!

Lupe: Yeah yeah, the World is yours, I was once that little boy

Todd (VO): Now, I love this. Modest Mouse is great, but Lupe takes the demented optimism of the original and plays it straight. Now some may call it corny, but you know what? I've never felt more like drinking my milk and staying in school.

Todd: And I hate school. Pretty kids with the pumped up kicks.

Todd (VO): Now if you don't like it, rest assured that you're not alone. Some have hit Lupe Fiasco's biggest hit as a soulless, vapid, mainstream sellout, generic faux-inspirational piece of crap, and none were more vocal of their criticism of Lupe Fiasco than the acclaimed underground rapper, [picture of...] Lupe Fiasco.

Todd: Lupe said the record label made him do it and that he hated it. Well, you know what? Kurt Cobain didn't like "Smells Like Teen Spirit" either, so shut up, Lupe Fiasco! You don't know shit! You're brilliant!

Lupe Fiasco: So no matter what you been through

Todd (VO): And if that last album and this song in particular are the result of a very compromised vision, Lupe did at least get something out of it. Very rarely does an artist get to bash their record label and make everyone hear it.

Lupe: They treat you like a slave, with chains all on your soul, And put whips up on your back, They be lying through they teeth

Todd: No, this isn't as sharp as "Kick, Push" or "Hip Hop Saved My Life" or anything, but Lupe not trying is still better than most rappers at their most creative. So you know what? Buck up, Lupe. Show goes on.

Lupe: Just remember when you come up The show goes on!

Interlude

Todd (VO): #5.

Video for... Katy Perry: There's a stranger in my bed, There's a pounding my head Glitter all over the room Pink flamingos in the pool

Todd: [he's beat] I give up. I love you, Katy Perry.

#5. Katy Perry - "T.G.I.F. (Last Friday Night)" Katy: Last Friday night Yeah we danced on tabletops And we took too many shots Think we kissed but I forgot

Todd: I love everything about you.

Todd (VO): I love your triumphant success in the face of negative amounts of talent; I love your complete refusal to have any sort of depth or thought in your music; I love the way you gargle vowels in some vain attempt to hit notes that Auto-Tune is just gonna clean up later anyway.

Todd: You win, Katy Perry. Marry me.

Katy: Trying to connect the dots

Todd (VO): God, Katy Perry. I don't what to do about Katy Perry. [Clip from "Born This Way"] If Gaga takes her inspiration from Madonna at her smartest, [clip of Madonna performing "Hanky Panky"] Katy Perry's inspired by Madonna at her dumbest.

Madonna: You can just...spank me

Todd (VO): She's transparently phony and she has no interest in being clever about it either. And yet it keeps working over and over again.

Todd: Someday I'm gonna have to really honestly deal with why I keep liking Katy Perry's songs, but I'm not ready yet. Don't think I'll like what I find out about myself.

Todd (VO): But yeah, I do like this a lot. The lyrics are not great, admittedly.

Katy: Think I need a ginger ale That was such an epic fail

Todd: Indeed.

Todd (VO): But I like this more than I like most party songs anyway because Katy Perry did not just have a party last Friday night. She had every party.

Katy: Yeah we danced on tabletops We went streaking in the park And we took too many shots And got kicked out of the bar Think we kissed but I forgot

Todd (VO): She got wasted, she danced on the tables, public nudity.

Todd: [horns] No regrets, baby! Besides, it's just good clean fun.

Katy: Skinny dipping in the dark Then had a menage a trois

Todd: Yeah-ha-ha...wait, what?

Todd (VO): The video deserves mention too. It's a pretty decent recreation of an 80s comedy, and it's pretty accurate in that it's partially unwatchable.

Katy: Friday!

Todd: Katy Perry, you don't understand anything about being a nerd.

Todd (VO): I love just about everything about this video except for Katy Perry herself, who has to make this as painful as possible. Still, I love that she filled this video with flashes-in-the-pan, both current and former, especially the grand display of benevolence by casting Rebecca Black as the makeover fairy. And let us not forget...

Todd: ...the most puzzling and awesome sax solo to hit pop music in years!

Sax solo in video by...

Todd (VO): From Kenny G, of all people. A lifetime of suck nearly redeemed!

Katy: Always say we're gonna stop

Todd: *sigh* We live in a Katy Perry world, people. Just deal with it.

Katy: All again

Interlude

Todd (VO): #4.

Video for Lady Gaga - "You and I" Lady Gaga: Something, something about my cool Nebraska guy

Todd: On the pop stations around here, that line is "cool Virginia guy".

Todd (VO): And in my travels around the country, I've found that [single cover] "You and I", Lady Gaga's stab at Shania Twain's country burlesque, changes the lane depending on which state I'm in.

Lady Gaga: It's my daddy and Nebraska and Jesus Christ

Todd: Cause why not? At the end of the day, does this song really have anything to do with Nebraska? Or anything?

Todd (VO): Maybe this song started somewhere real, but I feel absolutely no connection to it whatsoever 'cause it's buried under so much winking and artifice.

Todd: I think what it is for me is that more than two years after the fact, I still can't read Gaga's po-po-poker face.

Video of "Bad Romance"

Todd (VO): And that's still what bugs me most about Lady Gaga, even after all the glamor and controversy and all the attempts to make pop music so much more interesting. If there was ever a core to this, it was lost behind the "Gaga ooh-la-la" and all that. ["You and I"] Being confusing is just not very surprising to me anymore and I'm sick of the masks.

Todd: Quite possibly the only thing Lady Gaga could do to surprise me at this point is to present a song and sing it like she actually meant it. [The video begins for...] ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT!

#4. Lady Gaga - "The Edge of Glory" Lady Gaga: I'm on the edge of glory, and I'm hanging on a moment of truth Out on the edge

Todd (VO): If I got anything out of the [album cover of...] flawed-but-kinda-brilliant Born This Way album, it's that Lady Gaga genuinely loves pop music and loves making it. "Edge of Glory" is how the album ends, and after fifteen songs of sex and iciness and genre-hopping, this song feels like a solid gut-check of straightforward, no bullshit, good goddamn music.

Lady Gaga: hanging on a moment with you I'm on the edge with you.

Todd: I love the way she goes, "yuh-hoo!"

Lady Gaga: I got a reason that you're who should take me home tonight

Todd (VO): And I love the organ breakdown after the second verse. [breakdown] And then there's Lady Gaga's singing, the best she's ever been as a singer.

Lady Gaga: ...we call life tonight Alright! Alright!

Todd (VO): And of course, let us not forget...

Todd: ...the most unexpected and awesome sax solo to hit music in years! Wait.

Todd (VO): Yes, twas quite a comeback year for the saxophone, but none were better than this one, here provided by legendary Springsteen sideman Clarence Clemons, who died earlier this year.

Lady Gaga: I'm on the edge with you

Todd (VO): And while it was a pleasant surprise seeing Kenny G not suck for once, the big man blew him out of the water. The first time I heard this song was in the middle of the sax solo and I was already immediately in love with it.

Solo plays as Gaga dances

Todd: Now I'm personally of the opinion that Gaga's music is often better the less bizarre the video, and "The Edge of Glory" is probably Lady Gaga's least memorable video from this album, but...

Todd (VO): ...personally I love this video and its nostalgia for the early 80s sexy, ridiculous, badly made, trying too hard, dawn of MTV music videos. Gaga knows her shit.

Lady Gaga: I'm on the edge of glory

Todd (VO): "Moment 4 Life" may be the song I wanna listen to when I'm happy to be alive, but this song makes me happy to be alive.

Lady Gaga: I'm on the edge with you With you, with you, with you, with you, with you

Todd: Gaga, drop the nonsense words and the gratuitous foreign languages, just sing your music. That's all I need.

Interlude

Todd (VO): #3.

Clip of the video, cut by Todd watching Grammys Todd: NEVER HEARING FROM THIS PERSON AGAIN! YOU HEAR ME?! SHE'S A NOBODY! A NOBODY!!!!

#3. Adele - "Rolling in the Deep" Adele (chorus backing): We could have it all (You're gonna wish you never had met me) Rolling in the deep (Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

Todd: Shit, actually maybe this was the strangest hit of the year. It's definitely the biggest. So let's talk about this song which completely ruled the entire year and which is almost certainly gonna win Adele another shitload of Grammys in a month or so.

Adele: Baby, I have no story to be told

Todd (VO): The fact is that though I initially tagged Adele as a throwback performer making retreads of better artists, I...I don't think I've ever heard a song like this.

Todd: I can literally think of nothing this reminds me of. It is an entity unto itself, and it deservedly made Adele into the biggest pop star in the world.

Todd (VO): This was the summer jam of the year, not this [clips of "Give Me Everything"...], not this [..."Party Rock Anthem"...], this! Somehow with this one song, she managed to hit the sweet spot, that she took over the [pictures of...] Lady Gaga crowd, the Florence + the Machine crowd and the Susan Boyle crowd simultaneously,...

Todd: ...despite the fact that no one appears to know what "rolling in the deep" actually means.

Adele: The scars of your love

Todd (VO): "Rolling in the Deep" was a game-changer, and you can see reflections of it all over the charts—all "Grenade"s and "Firework"s and bullets and world's end and hopeless places. We apparently didn't wanna dance in 2011. What we wanted was revenge.

Todd: The biggest song of the year isn't fun, it's a song to load ammo to. It's the kind of breakup song that precedes a serious ass-kicking.

Adele: You had my heart inside your hand

Todd (VO): And you know what? I'm glad there's a place for this, and not just 'cause it's so good, because it's so righteously pissed.

Todd: Yeah, yeah, I thought it was overplayed too, but it deserved it. Adele lifted the standards this year and everyone else is still struggling to catch up.

Adele: But you played it You played it You played it You played it to the beat.

Interlude

Todd (VO): #2.

Todd: This next video causes seizures. I'm not kidding, it has a seizure warning right on its YouTube page. I heard they cut out the part that causes seizures, but that warning, still right there at the beginning of the video, so if you are prone to epileptic episodes, look away from this video. Don't look again 'til we move to the next part of the list. I'm not joking. Shut your eyes for this part, skip to the next one. I'm sorry, but the video's about to start. Do it [in big red letters] now. And yes, that sucks. I'm sorry. But can I ask a question here? Who the...who releases a video that causes seizures?! How does that happen? What kind of asshole does something like that?

To answer that question, a clip from 2009 MTV VMAs, with Taylor Swift being interrupted by... Kanye West: I'm really happy for you, I'll let you finish, but Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time!

Todd: Of course.

#2. Kanye West ft. Rihanna- "All of the Lights" Kanye West and Tony Williams: All of the lights All of the lights [Todd raises his arms slowly] All of the lights Kanye: All of the lights Cop lights, flashlights, spotlights

Todd: Kanye West spent so much time talking himself up in increasingly ridiculous ways and making an ass of himself that most people treat him like some ego-inlfated superstar rapper like Lil Wayne or somebody,...

Todd (VO): ...but I always thought of him more as some kind of pretentiously genius capital-A Artiste. The man is talented. He's a talented composer and a musician, he's probably genuinely insane.

Kanye: Something wrong I hold my head MJ gone, our [bleep] dead!

Todd (VO): Kanye worships Michael Jackson, but he's actually a lot closer to Prince, both in his melding of various genres of music and the fact that he's probably had something very important knocked loose in his brain.

Rihanna: Turn up the lights in here, baby

Todd (VO): "All of the Lights" is one of Kanye's few songs that appears to be about someone other than himself, but I suspect Kanye feels more of a connection than you'd expect to the world of a spouse-abusing con who lost his visitation rights and subsequently his grip on sanity.

Kanye: She need a daddy Baby please, can’t let her grow up in that ghetto university

Todd: But the intensity of Kanye's performance is matched with what is probably his best-ever work as a producer.

Todd (VO): The guest spot credited to Rihanna alone is actually a bunch of different voices blended together including John Legend, Alicia Keys, Fergie, Elton John, Lil Wayne, La Roux, Thomas Jefferson, Poseidon, Superman, GLaDOS, who knows who else?

Todd: I applaud you, Kanye. You deserve all the kudos you've gotten. Just don't let it go to your head.

Interlude

Todd (VO): #1.

Todd: It's rare to see consensus get built about a pop song. Music is one of the things that everyone has a different taste in. Very, very rarely is a song so good that everyone has to agree on it. But when I heard my #1 song, I spread it to everyone I knew and everyone loved it, and I've never seen that happen. I told myself if there was any justice in this world, it would be a song that spread everywhere and that everyone would love it and...it did. The music snobs, the soccer moms, the teenagers, the sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, waste-oids, dweebies, dickheads, everyone. And by the end of 2011, it was widely recognized as one of the greatest songs ever written. And if you were paying attention to music at all this year, you already know what it is. And so it is with great pride that I say these words to you.

Footage of Todd at a bar, sitting at a keyboard Girl #1: Todd, "Fuck You". Girl #2: "Fuck You" Todd: Fuck you! Girl #2: Fuck you! ''[He plays the song and draws cheers from everyone in the bar]

#1. Cee Lo Green - "Fuck You!" Cee Lo Green: I see you driving 'round town with the girl I love And I'm like, "Fuck you!" [Cut to the bar crowd singing along] Crowd: Oooooh-ooh-ooh Cee Lo Green: I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough I'm like, "Fuck you! And fuck her too."

Todd: Oh, I wanted this to top last year's list, but...God, it just couldn't build up the momentum for mainstream acceptance. It was...it was built around the single bluntest profanity in pop history. No way could something like this catch on, no matter how good it was.

Cee Lo Green: Ain't that some shit

Todd (VO): But I just kept watching, and slowly, surely, it got there, capturing the hearts and minds of a grateful world.

Todd: Sometimes quality wins out.

Clip from Glee  Holly Holiday (Gwyneth Paltrow): And I'm like, "forget you!"

Todd (VO): And part of the reason Cee Lo finally made it over the top is because Glee smartly put it in one of their medleys, but any gratitude I have to Glee for helping this truly deserving song capture the hearts and minds of millions was immediately erased when their version started to replace the original in the minds of the softer-headed in this country. [Cee Lo's performance at the Grammys] Cee Lo gets onstage at the Grammys dressed like Elton John with the Muppets and it's awesome, and then Gwyneth Paltrow comes in to ruin everything. God!

Todd: And by the way, the name of the song is "Fuck You!"; not "Forget You!", "Fuck You!"

Todd (VO): I seriously considered putting the censored version on the Worst list. Censoring it ruins the whole point. And besides, who could be offended by this? This is a song for the entire world. Your kids can sing it. [Clip from The Muppets with chickens clucking the song] Marionette chickens can sing it.

Todd: It's the F-bomb for the whole family.

Cee Lo Green: I see you driving 'round town with the girl I love And I'm like, "Fuck you!"

Todd: If there's a single person in the universe who doesn't like this song, I haven't met them and I don't care to. But if you're out there, whoever you are, wherever you are... I disagree with your opinions. And fuck you.

Cee Lo Green: I still wish you the best With a... "FUCK YOU!"

Closing tag song: OneRepublic - "Good Life"

''THE END This video is owned by me The Lupa Fiasco also involved a freshly-made haggis''