11

Ask That Guy With The Glasses Ep. 11 (July 26, 2008)

(That Guy is seen reading a book. He looks up and shuts it)

That Guy: Oh! Geiá sou! Didn't see you come in. Greetings and welcome to "Ask That Guy With The Glasses."

(Title card comes up with music)

Narrator: What is the difference between Jonathan Taylor Thomas and Haley Joel Osment?

That Guy: That's a very good question. Haley Joel Osment is a midget and Jonathan Taylor Thomas is a dwarf. I know that many people confuse them for children, but they're not. They're little people, with little talent, except for Haley Joel Osment and Jonathan Taylor Thomas. They both have talent. Where am I?

Narrator: What on earth was man trying to do when he discovered that cows made milk?

That Guy: Oh, no, no, no, no, no! It's not at all what you think! The guy was trying to suck on the cow's tit because he thought it gave him an erection. I don't know what your mind was thinking.

Narrator: If you mixed Coca Cola with Pepsi, what will happen?

That Guy: Diarrhea.

Narrator: A telemarketer keeps calling my house at 6:30 in the morning and will not stop. What should I do?

That Guy: That's not a telemarketer, that's me. And I'm sorry if I keep bugging you to take a survey, it just really arouses me. Can I help that? Yes.

Narrator: I found out that my friends intentionally did not invite me to a party. What do I do?

That Guy: Well ,I suggest you call up your friend and ask him why. There's nothing like a reasonable conversation to figure out a resonable conclusion. It is the only way people learn from one another. Naaaah, I'm just kidding! Castrate him.

Narrator: In the last episode, you said that you read hydroglyphics. Did you mean hieroglyphics?

That Guy: Actually, no. I meant hydroglyphics. It is the reading of shapes and symbols through water. Now, I know what you're thinking, that dictionary I was reading wasn't underwater. But the pages were, years and years ago. And only through water can the shapes and symbols appear. This was a form of language that was created thousands of years ago in New Amsterdam. Because it's only in New Amsterdam that you can create such an absurd notion. Now I know what you're thinking, you must be lying, That Guy With The Glasses. Well, I'm not. This is That Guy With The Glasses saying there's no such thing as a stupid question until you ask it. (Winks and goes back to reading his book)