Pound Puppies and the Legend of Big Paw

NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to! Remember the Pound Puppies?

Footage from Pound Puppies commercial is shown.

NC (Voiceover): Sure you do. Their marketing gimmick was far too clever to overlook. Buy one of our cute SAD LITTLE puppies or else, they get the gas!

Boy (Commercial): Those lonely pound puppies really need to be rescued!

NC (Voiceover): It was a brilliant idea. And like most toys in 1980's, if it was popular, it warranted a show.

Footage from the Pound Puppies animated series is shown.

NC (Voiceover): So we got the Pound Puppies show, which was just as dry idea as the executives has greenlighted it. I don't know. We got these dogs in the pound, but they get out dogs out of the pound, there's evil woman who runs it, then there's a daughter who runs it, she tries to capture them even though they're somehow already in a pound, something about magic power that allows them to talk to humans...

NC: It was a mess. And just to make it even more confusing, they had a theatrical release that switched things up even more. That was .

Title card of  Paw is shown.

NC (Voiceover): Emotionally lagging, and creatively retarded, the Pound Puppies movie was just as big a sellout you would think. And considering how it was based on a show that was a sellout that was based on a toy that was sellout, there's a lot of fucking selling out to be done here.

NC: So why should these characters have been korean appetizers? Let's take a look!

Movie starts

NC (Voiceover): So it's a beautiful day in whatever's-ville, the sun is shining the clouds are out... the cars stop in the mid-dissolve, it's absolutely wonderful. And on this day we see three dogs walking to the museum.

Male puppy: Dear uncle Whopper, where are you taking us?

Whopper: All I said it's a little surprise!

Female puppy (Blankly): Did you like surprises, uncle Whopper?

NC: Oh, boy. I think the director's kids wanted a cameo!

A boy on a skateboard jaywalks in front of the dogs while a car runs toward him.

Whopper: Hey! Watch out!

''Whopper prevents the boy from being hit by a car. The boy's skateboard smashes into pieces.''

Boy: Whoa! That could have been me! Thanks.

Whopper: It will be you if you don't start watching the lights and wait for the walk signal before you cross!

NC (Voiceover): Why, thanks magic-walking-talking dog! Boy, this is the best high ever.

Whopper: It's a good thing that we still have puppy power, or else I couldn't have talked to him.

NC (Voiceover): Yes, apparantly there's this thing called puppy power where dogs and humans can magically talk to one another. Not too late to get a refund, folks!

Male puppy: Where did it come from anyway, uncle Whopper?

Whopper: Wait untill you hear this!

''A peaceful forest is shown. A butterlfy sits on a flower.''

Whopper (Voiceover): It all started back in the Dark Ages, back in the days of the knights.

NC (Voiceover): Wait a minute, what?

The forest suddenly turns into a busy battlefied of the knights.

Whopper (Voiceover): Things were a lot different back then: good and evil knights—

NC (Voiceover): But, what the—

Whopper (Voiceover): — fought each other for the right to search for—

NC (Voiceover): What the hell?

Whopper (Voiceover): —the mystical sword Excalibur!

NC:No, no. Sorry. I can't even watch Pound Puppies. The little dogs? Whopper (Voiceover): Unfortunately, the evil Black Knight, won.

NC (Voiceover): When did this become Spamelot: The animated series?

''A skinny boy is strolling around the forest. He whistles to summon his puppy.''

NC (Voiceover, mocking Brtish accent): Hi, I am a pussie and I have no idea why we jump from talking dogs to Quest for Camelot's table scraps, kind of weird!

The Black Knight suddenly appears and starts to chase after the boy and the puppy.

NC (Voiceover): So the Black Knight, who's not wearing any black, chases after the boy and his dog.

The Knight corners the boy to a bush.

Black Knight: Now, for the pleasure, of, FINISHING you!

The Black Knight's eye turns red as we see a close up of his face.

''Part of Clear Eye commerical is shown. A boring-looking man who is in a beach removes sand from the surface of his beach ball.''

Man (Blankly): For dry, red eyes, Clear Eye is aaaaaaawesome.

NC (Voiceover): So the boy just happens to stumble across the Sword in the Stone and...

While the boy (Presumably Arthur) tries to pull the sword out of the stone, his dog tries to pull out a shining bone which is embedded in the very same rock.

Black Kight: The bone of Scone!

NC:Wait, the what?

Black Kight: The bone of Scone!

NC (Voiceover): There's bone in the stone?