Three Cups More

(We start off with the title card: “After escaping BDSM at the hands of Mami Tomoe, Nagisa Momoe will now review the second Three Cups fanfic: Three Cups More”)

Nagisa: This fanfic is the CHEESE!

Well, OK, not the cheese, that was the first fic, but this is, uh, uh, uh, MASCARPONE!

THERE’S ALL NEW MEN THAT ARE THERE AS WELL!

LIKE BRUCE, who only sucks him offf…

THOR, who I think is extremely rough…

AND STRANGE, who I don’t think ever talks at all.

So it starts off, like, “Dr. Banner is careful.”

“A very careful scientist.”

(Makes science noises)

And then Peter shows up and he's like:

“Let me suck you off!”

(Sucks a piece of string cheese)

And Bruce’s like…

(Makes a moaning noise)

So then Bruce does the exact same thing, and there's that.

But then we're introduced to Thor!

(He gasps)

And it turns out he’s the GOD OF THUNDER! The PRINCE OF ASGARD!

So Thor’s like…

"I will take care of you, sweet boy!"

And so the GOD OF THUNDER does so!

He electrocutes Peter with his 'mighty hammer'!

(He pretends to get electrocuted)

KABOOM! KABOOM! KABOOM! 'THOR, HNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!'

AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, THOR MAKES PETER PASS OUT!

WH-WH-WH-WH-WH-WHAT?!

THAT’S RIGHT! THOR SEMI-KILLS PETER!

But then he wakes up… And then Thor leaves.

So then we meet this other dude named Doctor Strange...

And Doctor Strange is freaking cool!

He’s 'meticulous' - a word that made me pull out a dictionary.

And that kicks ASS!

MAJOR ASSAGE! (Accompanying text appears onscreen)

So Stranges takes Peter into the shower, and they wash other.

AND THEN THEY FUCK!

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

KABOOM! KABOOM! KABOOM!

(Imitates showerhead and inappropriate sounds)

Then Peter gains a last name and becomes... Peter Parker!

And he has a very big heart! Which kicks ASS!

MORE Major Assage! (Accompanying text appears onscreen)

So he lays on the couch with Steve and Bucky…

AND…it’s over, as we repeat that Peter Parker has a big heart.

It’s like…(punches a fist into her palm and has both hands collapse) Kcch. Pbbt. He's a sweetheart. Done.

IT WAS GREAT!

THUMBS UP!

FIVE STARS!

GREATEST MASCARPONE SEQUEL OF ALL TIME!

And I liked it, too.

I’m the Nagisa Momoe, telling you: YOU GOT ANY MASCARPONE! C'mon, I want it in this reading's honor!