Blues Brothers 2000

''Cue the Nostalgia Critic opening before we fade to NC at his desk. His parts are filmed in standard 480p resolution.''

NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it so you don't have to. You know, I was walking down the aisles of a video store when I noticed something I haven't seen in years: Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue. Immediately a pool of disappointing memories came flooding back to me and I just knew I had to see this piece of shit again. Now for those of you who don't remember the special, I'll give you the skinny.

Period of silence.

NC: Usually some clips from the special would play here but seeing how my copy died a long time ago, I'm just gonna move on without it. (clears throat)

Rob Walker (VO): Uh, Critic?

NC: Yeah?

Cut to Rob, whose parts are filmed in current High Definition resolution, at the camera.

Rob: What are you doing?

NC: Isn't it great? I'm recreating the glory days of my first review!

Rob: But you're missing one of the most important elements. It's only half a review without it.

NC: No, it's okay; (leaves his desk, going over to Rob) I thought about that! You see, I fill in the void by replacing it with a bunch of other critics! Like, Black Critic...

Black Critic (Malcolm Ray) is shown.

NC: Little Kid Critic...

Little Kid Critic (Tamara Chambers) is shown.

NC: Animated Kitten Critic...

A cartoon kitten, drawn in the same design as he was on NC's "Rover Dangerfield" review, is shown as he meows and waves.

NC: Sexy Female Critic...

Sexy Female Critic (Dayna Munday) is shown.

NC: Invisible Critic...

A blank corner of the room (and nothing else) is shown.

NC: ...who might just be a wall. And, of course, Cameo Critic!

Cameo Critic (Brad Jones): Uh, (shrugs) it's a living!

Rob: Was this a fan request or something?

NC: No, that's the great thing about it! Nobody wanted to see it, and now it's here for everybody to witness!

Rob: Critic, how can anyone enjoy a recreation that only has half of what made it good, forceful comedic sidekicks, practically nothing new to offer, and wasn't something that the fanbase ever demanded in the first place to begin with?

NC: I think they get the idea.

Rob: Alright.

NC: "Blues Brothers 2000."

The title of the movie is displayed before various clips from it are shown.

NC: Based on the classic SNL Chicago musical about two musicians trying to save an orphanage and somehow end up becoming the most wanted men in America, the sequel, shot 18 years later, is kind of like that minus the enjoyment. It's a desperate retread between writer/actor Dan Akyroyd and writer/director John Landis to relive the glory days by somehow bringing us none of the glory. As such, it's said to be one of the most pointless, underwhelming, and just downright bizarre sequels in comedy history. (Poster of "Weekend at Bernie's II" is displayed) And trust me, that's saying a great deal.

Cut to NC back at the desk and still in standard resolution.

NC: So, let's see what's wrong with the past by... (looks at the black bars on the sides and pushes them out of the way, thus restoring the picture to its usual HD resolution) ...getting out of the past. This is "Blues Brothers 2000."