The Happening

(We start off the episode with the Shyamalan Month opening, which has him dancing to the Looney Tunes theme)

Shyamalan: (singing) Why does everybody keep on hiring me? All of my work is shiiiit!

(Now we come to the Nostalgia Critic coming into the office)

NC: Hey, Malcolm.

Malcolm: Hey, Critic. Did you know that 1/3 of the world's oranges are grown in Brazil?

NC: What an odd thing to say.

Malcolm: Eh, I guess it's my quirk. Oranges.

NC: (confused) Okay, I'm gonna go shoot the review now.

(Now he comes across Tamara Chambers)

Tamara: As you know, there are two types of people in this world. Those who believe that evil is good and those who believe that evil is evil.

NC: Tamara, why are you spewing that sloppy, unfocused philosophy?

(Coming into the room is Jim Jarosz)

Jim: I hear you whispering. Plan on stealing something?

NC: Why is nobody talking right today?

Jim: Plan on murdering me in my sleep?

NC: What? Nooo! (realizing something) Wait, it's affecting me now, too.

Malcolm: Around 85% of oranges are produced for juice.

Tamara: As you know, the world is filled with people who do not understand the ramifications of--

Jim: While you're here, I may as well make you suffer, but I don't know why.

(Everyone starts talking over one another, making it hard to understand)

NC: My God. I know what this is. I know what's going on here. This is... (zoom in on NC's face) The Shyamalizing.

(A title card of The Shyamalizing appears with a background of floating clouds. NC then opens the door to the review room)

NC: Look, a camera we can all get obnoxiously close to!

(The group head into the room still in their monologues, with NC closing the door behind him)

NC: I should've seen the warning signs. The bad monotone acting, the dialogue that makes no sense whatsoever, and... (he reaches into his jacket, pulling out his phone) Europe loving all of this for some reason. (on the phone, a headline says "Shyamalan Big Hit in Europe" with a picture of him on it) Who knows who'll be next? If I'm not careful, all of us could end up like the actors from The Happening!

(Now we get to clips of the movie)

NC (vo): Based on a title so lazily vague that the film does everything in its power to justify it...

Elliot Moore: There's something happening in a few states./Could this be happening?/Whatever's happening is happening...

(And we get clips of various people in the movie saying the word "happening")

NC (vo): The Happening has garnered a reputation as one of the most entertainingly bad movies ever made. Yep, right up there with (posters of) The Room, Troll 2, and (poster of Jupiter Ascending) give it time. For years, we've made references to this trainwreck, but have never given it a full review analyzing why it's so bad, it's...actually kind of amazing.

NC: So let's take a look to figure out what, how and...well, we'll never figure out why, it's Shyamalan. This is The Happening.

NC (vo): It starts off in New York as 2 women do what Shyamalan thinks 2 women do, read a book at the same time.

Women #1: I forgot where I am.