Three Cubes of Sugar

Announcer:And now it's time for "Nagisa Reviews" with Nagisa Momoe. Tonight's review: "Three Cubes of Sugar."

Nagisa:

THIS FANFIC IS THE CHEESE!

(She notices a piece of paper in her hand which is for Madoka Con 2019.)

OH MY CHEESE, I'm at a con!

(She leaves her room and wanders down to the con, looking around in amazement) Holy mascarpone, look at that!! (She then sees Yuma Chitose ) Yuma!

Yuma:

Nagisa!

Both:

(They hug) Heeeeeyyy!

Nagisa:

Hey! I'm gonna do a Three Cups review! You wanna do it with me?

Yuma:

Sure!

Both:

HOORAY!

Nagisa:

(As they walk down the hall...) Hey everybody! If you wanna be in a Three Cups review, come with us! If you wanna be in the video, come with us!

Yuma:

Hang out with the young Magical Girls! (They continue walking, bringing together a crowd) Oh my Cheese!

Nagisa:

Oh my Cheese!

Yuma:

Oh MY Cheese!

Nagisa:

I think our cheeses are the same.

(They find a good spot) Gather around, people! Gather around! (She speaks to the crowd) Alright, everybody! You have all come here to be part of a Three Cups review! It's okay to be afraid! Many of you may not be coming back! (Crowd laughs) Now look to the person left to you! (Everyone does) They will most likely become a witch! (Yells at someone) Your other left!

But by God, with some courage, and of course some CHEESE, we can make this--

Yuma:

(Holds up plate) CHEESE!

Nagisa:

Stop it! We can make this the greatest Three Cups review ever! (Everyone cheers with Nagisa)

THREE CUBES OF SUGAR, HERE WE GO!

We return to the antics of Peter Parker. I-- (Looks around) We need a Peter Parker. Who wants to be Peter Parker?

Kaede Akino :

(Raises hand) I do!

Nagisa:

You do! You do! (Pulls her up front)

Yuma:

You're Peter Parker!

Nagisa:

You've got three acts of romance to commit. Okay! (Points at her) This is Peter Parker! He's gained a last name since the last fic! And he is going to a hotel... And with this guy named Scott Lang-- Wait, we need a Scott Lang! Who wants to be a Scott Lang? (She finds Oriko Mikuni ) You! You will be Scott Lang! (Brings her forward) Scott and Peter get some string cheese from the vending machine and rub the sticks together!

"Scott":

(Rubs the cheese sticks given to her and "Peter") Rub! Rub!

Nagisa:

But then the evil Loki arrives! (looks around) Who wants to be Loki? (She finds Kyoko Sakura ) Come on, come on, come on. You look evil enough. (looks around) Who wants to be the even eviler criminal they beat up? (Selects Walpurgisnacht) Okay! Let's get you in there! Alright...

FIGHT! ("Loki" and the "criminal" fight) Yes! And Peter webs the criminal and... You can stop now. (They keep going) Stop! That's an overly long battle! Stop it! Stop it! (He breaks them apart.)

Nagisa:

But then something very unexpected happens...

Yuma:

We get aesthetic! ("Loki" transports "Peter" to a flower field) And then...more cheese stick rubbing. ("Loki" and "Peter" do exactly that)

Nagisa:

Now! (looks around) Who wants to be Clint? (Madoka Kaname says "I do!") Wow! Okay!

(Looks at "Peter Parker" and gestures to "Clint") Alright, now screw her! ("Clint" shoves the string cheese up "Peter's" butt) Oh, you cheese him so well!

Yuma:

Yuma thinks she got that from her mother Junko!

Nagisa:

But wait. Chapter 4, the grand finale, isn't out yet, so we have to end this for now.

Everyone:

HOORAY!

Nagisa:

This is Nagisa Momoe and Yuma Chitose saying CHEESE?! Ya got-- (They realize their plates are gone and take the string cheeses back, then everyone screams about wanting cheese.)