Top 12 Santa Clauses

(Shortened version of the opening)

NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. (Silence; he raises his fist slolwy before he flies through the roof and into outer space) CHRISTMAS! (clips of Christmas play)

NC (vo): The freaking best time of the year is back! Christmas! God, I love it! If I could find a way to kidnap Christmas, tie it up in my basement, visit it every night and chop off a little bit of its body to consume it so I could slowly BECOME Christmas...

NC: I wouldn't because that's gross, but nevertheless, I fucking love it!

NC (vo): This year, I'm not only doing top 12 lists and editorials, but I'm reviewing some of the worst holiday specials ever. (question mark appears) All building up to what many declee the worst holiday special of ALL TIME.

NC: But we'll get to that when we get to that. Let's talk about one of the most important parts of the holidays: Jolly Old St. Nick himself, Santa Claus!

("Santa Claus is Coming to Town" performed by Fred Astaire plays as various images of Santa Clauses appear)

NC (vo): There's been so many Santa Clauses over the years and we all have our interpretation of what we think makes the best one. Which has the most unique take, the most enjoyable performance, which one do we look at and say that he's, without any doubt, THAT Santa Claus.

NC: Everyone has their personal picks and we're gonna look at my Top 12 favorite today. Why Top 12? (shakes his hands excitedly) BECAUSE IT'S CHRISTMAAAAS!!! This is the Top 12 greatest Santa Clauses!

(Title for Top 12 Best Santa Clauses)

(For each interlude, "Deck the Halls" is playing in the background and we see Norman Rockwell's painting of Santa Claus at his table reading mail)

#12
NC (vo): Number 12 -- "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town". Yeah, so, as many of you know, I'm not really a Rankin/Bass fan. Which is not to say I don't understand why people enjoy the specials, they're just a little too awkward and... creepy for me. But now, give this one credit, not only it does create a decent and kind-loving Santa Claus, but it mostly shows a rather young man. Which is actually pretty rare.

Kris Kringle: You tell those young'uns there'll be plenty of toys, but only if they behave themselves.

NC (vo): It's Mickey Rooney doing the voice and he hits just the right amount of gentleness and sincerity.

Kris Kringle: Why, looky here. Changing from bad to good is as easy as taking your first step.

NC (vo): He's full of energy and was to do all he can for the world. The only thing holding him back is the budget of how much movement the animators allow to give him. Ho-ho, watch the hand there, buddy! That's thirty dollars for finger bending! I know it's cheap, I know it's underwhelming at times, but you give the studio credit for what they got. And what they ended up with may not look glamourous, but it still at least is very heartfelt. I don't know. Even as a non-Rankin/Bass fan, I can't find myself leaving him off the list. And maybe that's for the best. How's that song go again, you creepy mailman with rifts on the side of his mouth?

S.D. Kluger (singing): Santa Claus is coming to town.

The Joker (from "The Dark Knight"): You wanna know how I got these scars?