Top Five Best and Worst Covers of All Time

(We begin with Bennett the Sage sitting on his chair when his phone rings and he answers)

Sage: Hello?

(Cut to: Todd in the Shadows in his usual location, holding his phone in one hand and a script in the other)

Todd: Sage! Sage, are you there!?

(Back to Sage)

Sage: Um......is, is thisTodd?

(Back to Todd)

Todd: Yeah, i-it's me. Listen, I need you to do me a HUGE favor.

(Back to Sage)

Sage: Oh! Oh yeah sure, I can help. Uh, what do you need? Uh, help capturing footage? You need someone to-

(Back to Todd)

Todd: Nonono, it's nothing like that. I-I need someone to cover my spot in the video scheldue on the site, something came up on my end, and I need time to deal with it.

(Back to Sage)

Sage: Wait, what do you mean something came up? Are you in trouble? Is someone hurt?

(Back to Todd, who is slowly holding up a DVD case. Cut To: the music video for "Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO)

Redfoo and Skyblue: Everyday I'm shufflin.

(The music video continues for a brief moment before cutting back to Todd)

Todd: (Exhales) Not yet, at least. So, are you gonna help me out or what?

(Back to Sage)

Sage: Um, sure?

(Back to Todd)

Todd: Thank god! Thank god. Listen, just have the video be about music of some kind, and we'll be solid.

(Back to Sage)

Sage: Waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait! Who said anything about doing a music video? I thought I was just gonna do a gaming video about like the Top Ten-

(Back to Todd)

Todd: You sure you won't let me down? Can't wait to see it, later!

(Todd hangs up as we cut back to Bennett)

Sage: No Todd, wait Todd, Todd!

(Bennett hangs up his phone)

Sage: Dammit!

(He then throws his phone on the ground)

Sage: (Whispering) Fucking great. Why couldn't he get Paw or Roses to cover him? I mean, if he was just gonna- Cover, Covers.

(Cut to Sage in Todd's normal setup with him wearing a hoodie, his face being concealed, and sitting at a piano)

Sage: Um, (Laughs nervously) um, Oh!

(Sage attempts to play the piano before slamming his hand on the keys and walking away)

Sage: I don't know why this was a good idea!

(Cut to Sage's chair as he walks in, takes his seat, and puts on his signature beret)

Sage: So! uh, yeah, covers.

(Cut to: footage of a music video for a cover song* as Sage monologues)

(*Editor's note: I don't recognize all of the music videos so if anyone can help fill these gaps, that would be great)

Sage (VO): Covers have a checkered past when it comes to general equality. While some may make their presence known, only to be quickly forgotten. Others would go down in history as being the musical equvilant of spitting on the orginator's grave.

Sage: Or on the orginator if they're alive, if the cover is bad, and. Yeah my metaphor is going nowhere.

(Cut To: the music video to Soft Cell's cover of "Tainted Love")

Sage (VO): Still there is the occassional cover that manages to eclipse its original iteration in terms of musicianship, production, flair, and other tangibles. To the point that the orginal may be excised completely from the public memory at large. This list counts down both ends of the spectrum, celebrating the best and condeming the worst that covers have to offer.

Sage: What am I looking for in a good or bad cover? Well, how they compare to the source material is inevitable so that's thrown into the equation. But I'm also looking for how they sound as songs in their own right, and how well or badly they've aged over the course of time. And before you get your hopes up, no Alien Ant Farm's cover of "Smooth Criminal" is not on the "Worst of" list.

(Cut to: the music video to Alien Ant Farm's version of "Smooth Criminal)

Sage (VO): Yeah, yeah, I've heard it all before. "How dare Alien Ant Farm cover the King of Pop". But, while I don't actively listen to the song, I am impressed at how they translated the original's manufactured synthesizer beats and chords to actual wood and metal instruments. Plus, I'm a sucker for a good bass line.

Sage: But speaking of what's ON the worst of list, let's dive in feet first as we count down.

(Cut to: the music video for Fallout Boy's cover of "Beat it", which serves as the interlude to the Worst Of list)

Sage (VO):  The Top Five Worst Covers of All Time.

Sage (VO): #5

Sage: Before we get into the nitty gritty details of my Number Five, I think some backstory is needed.

(Cut To: A slideshow montage of various pictures of Bob Dylan as "The Times, They are a Changin" plays in the background)

Sage (VO): Back in the early 60s, a very young and very rough around the edges Bob Dylan, couldn't get a record deal if his life depended on it. Not for lack of talent, but mainly because his voice was, (and still is mind you), like sandpaper on your eardrums. Still, he attracted a following, and up-and-coming singer-songwriter Joan Baez championed his work by singing his songs and inviting him to come up and play during her concerts, they even became lovers for a time. Flash-forward to 1967 as bootleg started to come out from Bob Dylan and his backing band called The Hawks. Eventually these bootlegs spurred The Hawks (without Dylan mind you) to change their name to The Band and releasing their first album "Music from Big Pink", which is primarially composed more of refined songs from these bootlegs. Among these songs was the powerful "I Shall be Released"

(Cut To: a live performance of the Band singing "I Shall be Released"

Richard Manuel: They say everything can be replaced. They say every distance is not needed.

Sage (VO): Now normally I find falsetto singing to be irritating, but singer Richard Manuel here manages to fill his vocals with a sense of pathos and vulnerability. And considering how the song is about imprisonment in one way or another, vulnerability is exactly what you want to stride for. It's emotionally driven, earnest, and somberly beautiful.

Sage: So how does Joan Baez fit into all this? Well, take a guess.

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